Avoidant Quotes & Sayings

Top lines to a human being who tends to isolate (an avoidant) would mean they make an effort to talk to another human being when the opportunity arises. A top line can also mean that, whether we feel like it or not, we are committed to our recovery and to improving our emotional and professional life. The idea of 'top lines' is not to be hard on ourselves or to put us in a position where we feel unsafe or burnt out. It's a way to avoid missing opportunities to learn, serve and grow. — Christopher Dines

It is true that many creative people fail to make mature personal relationships, and some are extremely isolated. It is also true that, in some instances, trauma, in the shape of early separation or bereavement, has steered the potentially creative person toward developing aspects of his personality which can find fulfillment in comparative isolation. But this does not mean that solitary, creative pursuits are themselves pathological ...
[A]voidance behavior is a response designed to protect the infant from behavioural disorganization. If we transfer this concept to adult life, we can see that an avoidant infant might very well develop into a person whose principal need was to find some kind of meaning and order in life which was not entirely, or even chiefly, dependent upon interpersonal relationships. — Anthony Storr

The farewell between Hitler and Mussolini at the station was very affectionate. Both men were moved. — Galeazzo Ciano

Narcissism falls along the axis of what psychologists call personality disorders, one of a group that includes antisocial, dependent, histrionic, avoidant and borderline personalities. But by most measures, narcissism is one of the worst, if only because the narcissists themselves are so clueless. — Jeffrey Kluger

It is very likely that men who are more gender role identified would never be seen as codependent because so many of their gender role traits are "normal" for an avoidantly attached codependent. Men with gender role conflict may pre-sent as more anxious, in general, and are more likely to be identified as codependent. — Mary Crocker Cook

Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never "bite" or even hiss unless Greg had done something truly horrible, on some level she processes his bite to mean that she's terribly guilty - of something, anything, who knows what? — Susan Cain

Basically, secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving; anxious people crave intimacy, are often preoccupied with their relationships, and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back; avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. — Amir Levine

Franklin Delano Roosevelt, for his part, was less than enthralled with his wife's alliance with the NAACP, and the White House attempted to maintain a distance between the president and Eleanor's activism on behalf of blacks. Marshall himself had felt the president's chill when Attorney General Francis Biddle phoned FDR to discuss the NAACP's involvement in a race case in Virginia. At Biddle's instruction, Marshall picked up an extension phone to listen in, only to hear FDR exclaim, "I warned you not to call me again about any of Eleanor's niggers. Call me one more time and you are fired." Marshall later recalled, "The President only said 'nigger' once, but once was enough for me. — Gilbert King

Bowlby uses the notion of faulty internal working models to describe different patterns of neurotic attachment. He sees the basic problem of 'anxious attachment" as that of maintaining attachment with a care-giver who is unpredictable or rejecting. Here the internal working model will be based not on accurate representation of the self and others, but on coping, in which the care-giver must be accommodated to. The two basic strategies here are those of avoidance or adherence, which lead to avoidant or ambivalent attachment. — Jeremy Holmes

Instead of getting at the other side with something just as bad as they did to you - or something worse - you do something good. Or at least you keep yourself from doing something bad — Jeanne DuPrau

Though the funny thing about never being asked for anything is that after a while you start to feel like maybe you don't have anything worth giving. — Lev Grossman

I don't want to know movie directors. I don't want to be close to them. I don't want to interfere with their work. I don't want them to interfere with mine. — Patricia Highsmith

Plagiarism is not only wrong, it's spelled funny, okay. — Pepe The King Prawn

However, sexual anorexics do have a definite profile that separates them from the larger population of those having difficulty being sexual: They are often extremely competent people who are committed to doing things very well and have a fear of making mistakes and being human. — Patrick J. Carnes

likely to form a secure attachment. The less secure the relationship attachments in our first two years, the harder it is to have good relationships throughout our lives. Little or no response to a distressed child from a caregiver may result in the child developing an avoidant behavior pattern, and low self-esteem. When a caregiver is inconsistent in response to the child's needs, the child will likely form ambivalent relationship patterns, anxiously uncertain about whether they can trust people. Finally, frightening behavior, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, and maltreatment lead to a disorganized attachment, and cause a child to feel dazed and confused. This child dissociates and compartmentalizes the traumatic experiences as — Heather Hans

We live in the attention of others. We turn to it as flowers to the sun. — James Salter

I am far more distress-avoidant than I am joy-seeking. — Malcolm Gladwell

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) also has dissociative symptoms as an essential feature. PTSD has been classically seen as a biphasic disorder, with persons alternately experiencing phases of intrusion and numbing... [T]he intrusive phase is associated with recurrent and distressing recollections in thoughts or dreams and reliving the events in flashbacks. The avoidant/numbing phase is associated with efforts to avoid thoughts or feelings associated with the trauma, emotional constriction, and social withdrawal. This biphasic pattern is the result of dissociation; traumatic events are distanced and dissociated from usual conscious awareness in the numbing phase, only to return in the intrusive phase. — James A. Chu

The unconscious operation of the attachment system via internal working models probably plays an important part in the choice of marital partner and relationship patterns in marriage. Holmes (1993) has described a pattern of 'phobic-counterphobic' marriage in which an ambivalently attached person will be attracted to an avoidant 'counter-phobic' spouse in a system of mutual defence against separation anxiety. — Jeremy Holmes

When we see goodness in everything and everyone, we become good. — Debasish Mridha

Avoidant attachment: Whether the mother is present or absent, the child behaves the same - neither noticing nor caring whether she or a stranger is there. Because the child isn't agitated when the mother leaves, there is no need for soothing. In adulthood, people with this attachment style aren't comfortable with intimacy and closeness, and so they avoid it. — Robin S. Rosenberg

Nothing is a blinding as neurotic self-pity. We walk around in a fog. — Helen M. Luke

She has no past, no future. She exists purely in the moment. Drunk — Paula Hawkins

The desperate hope that the patient will be healed ... That's the last treatment. — Choi Woo-shik

Susan, who has an avoidant attachment style, ... sees need as a weakness and looks down on people who become dependent on their partner, — Amir Levine

They'd become unaccustomed to the brightness of their own city, and, faced with it now in all its intensity, they cupped their hands over their eyes as if staring into the sun. — Jennifer E. Smith

Therefore, while social phobics and patients with AvPD both avoid out of fear, the social phobic's fears mainly arise in the clinical context of feeling, or actually being called upon to perform in ways ranging from giving a speech to urinating in a public washroom. In contrast the avoidant's fears generally arise in the context of interpersonal relationships, the main marker I look for in making the diagnosis of AvPD. — Martin Kantor

The choice to avoid risk is the choice to avoid living, and to avoid living is one of the greatest risk of all. — Craig D. Lounsbrough

The number one cause of PTSD in the United States is motor vehicle accidents.14 As many as 25 to 33 percent of people show signs of PTSD - such as sleep disturbances, heightened anxiety, hypervigilance, nightmares, and avoidant behavior - 30 days after an accident. It's so common that 2.5 million to 7 million people in the United States suffer from it. Their risk of substance abuse is five times greater than normal. And well over half of people in car accidents (60 to 66 percent) have chronic pain, just like Emily did.15 — Gary Kaplan

Parts of you are phobic of anger and generally terrified and ashamed of angry dissociative parts. There is often tremendous conflict between anger-avoidant and anger-fixated parts of an individual. Thus, an internal and perpetual cycle of rage-shame-fear creates inner chaos and pain. — Suzette Boon