Atm Quotes & Sayings

The rules are strict but simple: Poker asks, nay, commands all its adherents to cut the bullshit and embrace reality. It will toy with the deluded - those who have everything figured out - with the playful cruelty of a cat toying with a mouse. Bring all of your convictions and credentials, your anger and insecurities to the poker table and the Poker Gods will tease you and mock you and fill you with false hopes and send you to the ATM a few times before releasing you, broke and steaming, at 5am. — Katya G. Cohen

Folks can't carry around money in their pocket. They've got to go to an ATM machine, and they've got to pay a few dollars to get their own dollars out of the machine. Who ever thought you'd pay cash to get cash? That's where we've gotten to. — Bill Janklow

Indeed, everything was a shock at the beginning. The wash machines, dryers, dishwashers, garbage disposal machines, juicers, toasters, and yes, the ATM machines. Watching money spilled out of a wall was simply amazing! — Li Cunxin

Americans who believe their government should not be a giant ATM, dispensing money and benefits to people who have not earned them, and who want their country returned to its founding principles, must now exercise that power before it is taken from them. The Tenth Amendment is one place to begin. The streets are another. It worked for the Left. — Cal Thomas

I'm the priest who has been mistaken for an ATM machine. — Greg Boyle

My mindset is of the person who is still unsure whether they have enough money in their ATM to go to another bar. I lived that way when I was unemployed, when I was a snowboard instructor, and when I was at NYU. A lot of my personality is stuck in those five years, and I don't know if that's ever gonna change. — Dennis Crowley

Consider this: I can go to Antarctica and get cash from an ATM without a glitch, but should I fall ill during my travels, a hospital there could not access my medical records or know what medications I am on. — Nathan Deal

Whether we make our own money or rely on someone else, many of us would rater pretend our financial matters don't exist. Or we hope they'll just take care of themselves somehow. My ex-husband was like that. He always said, "I bank by prayer. I go to the ATM and pray that money will come out. — Nancy Levin

New Rule: If you get to serve me a quarter-head of lettuce with dressing on it, which proves you could have made a salad but chose not to, then I get to pay you with an ATM receipt, which proves I have the money but you're not getting any. — Bill Maher

Viewing the web as a platform for generosity is very different than seeing an opportunity to turn it into an ATM machine. — Seth Godin

I love L.A. It's a great, sprawling, spread-to-hell city that protects us by its sheer size. Four hundred sixty-five square miles. Eleven million beating hearts in Los Angeles County, documented and not. Eleven million. What are the odds? The girl raped beneath the Hollywood sign isn't your sister, the boy back-stroking in a red pool isn't your son, the splatter patterns on the ATM machine are sourceless urban art. We're safe that way. When it happens it's going to happen to someone else. — Robert Crais

When ATM machines came out and people were prosecuted for robbing ATM machines, I don't think anybody thought the banks were against technology because they didn't want their ATM machines lifted. — Hilary Rosen

You were a town with one pay phone and someone else was using it.
You were an ATM temporarily unable to dispense cash.
You were an outdated link and the server was down.
You were invisible to the naked eye.
You were the two insect parts per million allowed in peanut butter.
You were a car wash that me as dirty as when I pulled in.
You were twenty rotting bags of rice in the hold of a cargo plane sitting on the runway in a drought-riddled country.
You were one job opening for two hundred applicants and you paid minimum wage.
You were grateful for my submission but you just couldn't use it.
You weren't a Preferred Provider.
You weren't giving any refunds.
You weren't available for comment.
Your grave wasn't marked so I wandered the cementary for hours, part of the grass, part of the crumbling stones. — Kim Addonizio

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine. — Dov Davidoff

Retail banking in Africa is very weak. You can't go to a village and get money from an ATM or visit a branch of the bank. So people have to use the Internet. — Mo Ibrahim

If you wanna make friends at the ATM, do the creep. — Lonely Island

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away. — Demetri Martin

Each month there are numerous incidents where visitors are abducted by criminal groups
just long enough to withdraw the maximum amount of money from an ATM account, — Mark Hall

If we are going to create a financial system that works for all Americans, we have got to stop financial institutions from ripping off the American people by charging sky-high interest rates and outrageous fees.
In my view, it is unacceptable that Americans are paying a $4 or $5 fee each time they go to the ATM.
It is unacceptable that millions of Americans are paying credit card interest rates of 20 or 30 percent.
The Bible has a term for this practice. It's called usury. And in The Divine Comedy, Dante reserved a special place in the Seventh Circle of Hell for those who charged people usurious interest rates.
Today, we don't need the hellfire and the pitch forks, we don't need the rivers of boiling blood, but we do need a national usury law. — Bernie Sanders

Every medium by which people communicate can be subject to exploitation by those with illegal intentions. Nevertheless, this is no reason to hand Big Brother the keys to unlock our e-mail diaries, open our ATM records, read our medical records, or translate our international communications. — John Ashcroft

I wanted them," Fudge whined.
"I know you did. But we can't buy everything you want." [Mom told him]
"Why"
"We don't have the money to buy ... " I could tell Mom was having a hard time explaining this. She thought for a minute before she finished. " ... just for the sake of buying. Money doesn't grow on trees."
"I know it doesn't grow on trees," Fudge said. "You get it at the ATM."
"You can't just go to the ATM whenever you want money," Mom told him.
"Yes you can," Fudge said. "You put in your card and money comes out. It works every time."
"No. You have to deposit money into your account first," Mom said. "You work hard and try to save part of your salary every week. The cash machine is just a way to get some of your money out your account. It doesn't spit out money because you want it. It's not that easy."
"I know, Mom," Fudge said. "Sometimes you have to stand on line."
Mom sighed and looked at me. "Got any ideas Peter? — Judy Blume

Think before you speak. Don't be an asshole. Show kindness when it's warranted and walk away when it costs you more than you're willing to give. Don't be an ATM that people can take from but never deposit into. Be a depositor. And always, always give your best only to those that deserve it. — Amber L. Johnson

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. — Mariah Carey

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes! — Dana Gould

In my head, at least, the business of spinning stories has no closing time. Twists in my characters' lives, glimpses of their secrets, obstacles to their dreams ... all arrive unbidden when I'm getting cash at the ATM, walking my son to camp, singing a hymn at a wedding. — Julia Glass

Others were behavioral. For instance: a potential terrorist was unlikely to withdraw money from an ATM on a Friday afternoon, during Muslim prayer services. — Anonymous

Congress is not an ATM. — Robert Byrd

I've been blackmailed a billion times. I've been sued for ridiculous things. At one point in my life, I was an ATM machine. But I'm used to that. You don't get used to it, but I'm used to the fact that people will do this, even your own family members, and I don't hate none of them. — R. Kelly

I've taped a list to my bathroom mirror. It's my Most Violated List ... Anger. I gave the finger to an ATM. You see, the ATM charged me a $1.75 fee for withdrawl. A dollar seventy-five? That's bananas. So I flipped off the screen. As Julie tells me, when you start making rude gestures to inanimate objects, it's time to work on your anger issues. Mine is not the shouting, pulsing-vein-in-the forehead rage. Like my dad, I rarely raise my voice. My anger problem is more one of long-lasting resentment. It's a heap of real or perceived slights that eventually build up into a mountain of bitterness ... get some perspective ... I ask myself the question God asked Jonah. 'Do you do well to be angry?' ... The world will not end ... Mute your petty resentment. — A. J. Jacobs

America is a world leader, but we should not be its policeman or ATM. — Rand Paul

Another tip to weld society together. Give the person up to bat at the ATM plenty of space so they're not nervous about you peeking at their PIN number or slipping a blade between their ribs the second the money spits out. — Tim Dorsey

There's no reason that patients can't have electronic access to their complete medical history ... Just as people can check their bank account information online or using their ATM card, patients who want to should have electronic access to their medical records ... — Paul Ryan

Every time you turn on your new car, you're turning on 20 microprocessors. Every time you use an ATM, you're using a computer. Every time I use a settop box or game machine, I'm using a computer. The only computer you don't know how to work is your Microsoft computer, right? — Scott McNealy

The only thing useful banks have invented in 20 years is the ATM. — Paul Volcker

The first time I walked into the Olympic athlete village seeing the Visa ATM machine with my picture on it and the Chinese characters saying 'Destiny.' For some reason, it just boosted my confidence and it was before I had even worked out or had my first training or competed. — Nastia Liukin

One of my officers said to me that Trinidad and Tobago is seen like an ATM card ... you come in with the card and you come back out with cash. It cannot happen anymore. It just cannot happen. — Kamla Persad-Bissessar

One ATM could do the work of no fewer than thirty-seven human tellers (and, into the bargain, rarely fell ill). In the United States, about half of all those employed in retail banking - some 500,000 people - lost their jobs between 1980 and 1995, thanks in large part to the invention of these silkily efficient machines. — Alain De Botton

I break my back for music because it's something that I love, but I'm not going to break my back for a bank. I wouldn't want to be an ATM repairman; there are some things that just aren't worth it. — Joshua Homme

I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, So I pushed her over. — Hudson Moore

New Rule: You can't force the ATM to do something it doesn't want to do. Excuse me, lady in front of me at the Citibank ATM, but you've been standing there punching buttons for ten minutes
what are you trying to do, write a novel on it? You hear those beeping noises? That's the ATM saying, "Stop it, you're hurting me." A chicken would have gotten forty bucks out of that thing by now just by pecking the buttons randomly. — Bill Maher

If you go to an ATM for a hundred dollars and it keeps spitting twenties, when would you walk away? When it wasn't spitting twenties no more. As long as you can take the money out, you'd stay there. That's what the wrestling business is like. — Kevin Nash

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful. — Bill Burr