Army Humour Quotes & Sayings

US government button specifications run to twenty-two pages. This fact on its own yields a sense of what it is like to design garments for the Army. — Mary Roach

An Army is an instrument of government. It must be used in such a way that it furthers the interests of government. Otherwise what use is it? Only an extremely costly machine for ... minting medals. — Joe Abercrombie

Ah! thus man spoils Heaven's glorious works with blood! — Charlotte Turner Smith

[Australian Reserve Bank] Governor MacFarlane said recently when Paul Volcker broke the back of American inflation it's regarded as the policy triumph of the Western world. When I broke the back of Australian inflation they say, "Oh, you're the fellow that put the interest rates up." Am I not the same fellow that gave them the 15 years of good growth and high wealth that came from it? — Paul Keating

'Downton Abbey' is just one cliche after another, and it is a really, really poor piece of drama. But that's only me talking. That's just my take on it. — Michael Hirst

Sorry, no. I refuse to join an army which practices human sacrifice and has no adequate pension plan. — Toby Frost

I'm a big fan of the whip ... That snake whip was awesome! — Lily Collins

Dell had left the army and taken the discipline home with him. I'd left the theatre world and taken the whisky sodas home with me. — Mark Capell

We must work tirelessly to make sure that every boy and girl in America who is up for adoption has a family waiting to reach him or her ... This is a season of miracles, and perhaps there is no greater miracle than finding a loving home for a child who needs one. — William J. Clinton

Nationality is a very curious thing. The blood is Scots and the temperament is Scots, but I am, in fact, 100% American. — Alexander Mackendrick

It seems like you're reading, I said, from the pink Princess telephone in my room, which came from my grandmother's house in St. Louis. It still had her old exchange phone number on the front, that Hitchcockian combination of words and letters. I loved it, not because I liked pink or irony, or was sentimental, but because the ringer was broken. I could call out but was never disturbed by incoming calls in my bedroom. The perfect form of communication in my mind, a model for what I fantasized about in a romantic relationship. — Jeanne Darst

Here you go, fellas. Piping hot ... right out of the oven!'
'Is
Is that what I think it is?'
'It's your favourite! Custard pie with cheese and bacon!'
'QUICHE!'
'No, comrade!! Be strong! Monsters don't eat flakey bakery products! Get a hold of yourself!'
'But comrade, I'm STARVING! Our army has no food! We haven't eaten since the ghost circles appeared!'
'Oh well! We certainly have a lot of food Here, don't we, Teach? A Lot of Food ... '
'Oh yes, A lot of food!'
'OK! I GIVE UP! YES! YES!! GIVE US THE QUICHE!! WE'RE STARVING
— Jeff Smith

Who gave you a gun?'
'The army.'
'Why?'
'That's what the army does, Simon. — A. Ashley Straker

Whenever I write something, I always want to make sure that what I write is defensible. — Salman Rushdie

I'm going to imagine that converstion now. 'Hi, Mom, it's me. I ran away to Paris with a stranger I met under a bridge. He's really old, too, like twenty-five or something, and a soldier, so I helped him desert from his army, and, oh, did I mention he's a Communist' ... — Rosanne Parry

Look!" Hawkeye said.
Duke looked where Hawkeye was pointing. In one corner, kneeling on the dirt floor with his elbows on his cot, a Bible in front of him, his lips moving slowly, and oblivious to all about him, was Major Jonathan Hobson.
"Jesus," Hawkeye said.
"It don't look like Him," Duke said. — Richard Hooker

Look at Woden and his cheerily racist army of ethnic monocultured valkyrie fuck buddies. — Kieron Gillen

Some women are convinced that they are the same size they were 20 years ago. They also wear clothes that are too big in an effort to hide their body. Both cases are unflattering and work against your body. Some women are in denial about changing. — Stacy London

It may take a village to raise a baby, but hell! it takes an army to produce a book. — Sara Sheridan

Three times Jan had been called to the colours (the army), but each time had been deferred because of his deplorable physical condition..when every male who could stand halfway erect was being shipped to Verdun to undergo a radical change in posture from the vertical to the eternal horizontal — Gunter Grass

Soon, they actually began to titter on their toes as they glared at me, looking more like an army of angry wasps than ever before. All they needed now were matching yellow and black jumpers and pretend stingers! — Adele Rose

Simple pleasures were all the pleasures that I knew as a child. — Willie Stargell

It has been preached in every country, taught everywhere, but only believed in by a few, because until we get the experience ourselves, we cannot believe in it. — Bill Vaughan

One grey hair appeared on my head
I plucked it out with my hand.
It answered me: You have prevailed against me alone -
What will you do when my army comes after me? — Yehuda HaLevi

I prefer 'buccaneers',' he grinned. 'A small privately funded army of committed peacekeepers. Tough, but fair. Our motto is: We put the fist in 'pacifist'. — Cash Peters

Reality has always proved to be much more sophisticated and subtle than any preconceived philosophy. — Michio Kaku

I was taught to do math and read at the same time. So you're six years old, you're reading 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' and it becomes rapidly obvious that there are only two kinds of men in the world: dwarves and Prince Charmings. And the odds are seven is to one against your finding the prince. That's why little girls don't do math. — Emily Levine