Anita Blake Quotes & Sayings

You walk like a duck with a wet diaper on.'
Anita Blake Vampire Hunter — Laurell K. Hamilton

Since you won't give me your names I'll call you Thing One and Thing Two. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Anita can speak for herself," Richard said.
Jean-Claude's attention flicked back to me. "That is certainly true. But I came to see how the two of you enjoyed the play."
"And pigs fly," I said.
"You don't believe me?"
"Not hardly," I said. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He looked less handsome without the smile and glow in his eyes, but he also seemed more real. Being real will get me into trouble faster than any amount of charm. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I sipped my own coffee, heavy on the sugar and cream, trying to make up for the late work the night before. Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I try to be a good cop. I try to be a good little soldier and follow orders up to a point. But in the end I'm not really a cop, or a soldier. I am a legally sanctioned murderer. I am the Executioner. — Laurell K. Hamilton

On the job there was nothing but the job. You left the shit outside the door. You could always pick it up on your way back out. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You don't smoke do you?"
"No, why?"
"They're afraid of fire."
"Great, we're going to be eaten alive because neither of us smokes."
I almost laughed. He sounded so thoroughly disgusted ... — Laurell K. Hamilton

Anything under size five isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Jason patted me on the back. "Tomorrow night we'll take you out chasing deer."
"I thought you'd chase cars," I said.
He grinned. "What fun is that? Cars don't bleed. — Laurell K. Hamilton

If I wasn't dead already, I'd said I was having a heart attack. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You either pay as you go with Raina, or you end up owing her, and owing comes with interest, and the interest is hell to pay. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You look wonderful", Jason said.
"No compliments, Jason. I'm uncomfortable enough in the lingerie."
"Then by all means take it off. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Sometimes it would be nice not to have to do my best. Sometimes it would just be nice not to have a crisis to deal with. - Anita Blake — Laurell K. Hamilton

Never throw stones if you think they're going to come back and hit you. — Laurell K. Hamilton

There are only two things you can do when you're dressed like Barbie Does Bondage; you can be embarrassed or you can be aggressive. Guess what my choice was. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I told her why we are here. I told you wouldn't hurt Jack."
"The coffin?"
I smiled. I couldn't help it. He was a 'jack in a box. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Life's a bitch," I said.
"And then you die," Larry finished for me. — Laurell K. Hamilton

The rich and powerful always seem to prefer the tops of buildings. Hasn't anyone ever explained to them that higher just means you have farther to fall?
Anita Blake — Laurell K. Hamilton

If you're too damn stubborn to let yourself cry, then your body finds other ways to let it out. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I walked towards her. Jean-Claude grabbed my arm. "Do not harm her, Anita. She is under our protection."
"I swear to you that I will not lay a finger on her tonight. I just want to tell her something."
He released my arm, slowly, like he wasn't sure it was a good idea. I stepped next to Monica, until our bodies almost touched. I whispered into her face, "If anything happens to Catherine, I will see you dead."
She smirked at me, confident in her protectors. "They will bring me back as one of them."
I felt my head shake, a little to the right, a little to the left, a slow precise movement. "I will cut out your heart." I was still smiling, I couldn'tseem to stop. "Then I will burn it and scatter the ashes in the river. Do you understand me?"
She swallowed audibly. Her health-club tan looked a little green. She nodded, staring at me like I was the bogey man.
I think she believed I'd do it. Peachy keen. I hate to waste a really good threat — Laurell K. Hamilton

If I wanted death, Edward would give it to me. Because we both understand that it isn't death that we fear. It's living. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Raising the dead was easy; love was hard. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Rafael, the Rat King, stared at the carnage with black-button eyes. "She is dead."
"Ding dong, the witch is dead, — Laurell K. Hamilton

Sometimes you fight what you are, and sometimes you give in to it. And some nights you just don't want to fight yourself anymore, so you pick someone else to fight. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Tell me not, sweet, I am unkind," he said, "That from the nunnery, Of they chaste breast and quiet mind."
I looked up at him, and said the next line, "To war and arms I fly."
"True, a new mistress now I chase," he said.
"The first foe in the field," I said, and let him draw me closer.
"And with a stronger faith embrace," he said.
"A sword, a horse, a shield." And the last word was whispered against his chest, still looking up into those eyes, searching his face.
"Yet this inconstancy is such, As thou too shalt adore," he whispered against my hair.
I finished the poem with my face pressed against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart, that truly beat with my blood. "I could not love thee, dear, so much, Loved I not honor more. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Why is everything always my decision?" I asked.
Because you will not tolerate anything else."
Oh, I remembered now. "Great", I whispered.
- Anita to Jean-Claude — Laurell K. Hamilton

Death, especially violent death, will turn the meanest bastard in the world into a nice guy. Why is that? — Laurell K. Hamilton

Edward smiled, I smiled, even Bernardo smiled. Olaf just looked sinister. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I knew what was like to finally be seduced by the thing you hunted. Mine just happened to be a more traditional seduction. Okay, at least I was still among the living. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me they don't have a dog and a picket fence.'
He smiled. 'No fence, but a dog, two dogs.'
'What kind of dogs?' I asked.
He smiled and glanced at me, wanting to see my reaction. 'Maltese. Their names are Peeka and Boo.'
'Oh, shit, Edward, you're joking me.'
'Donna wants the dogs included in the engagement pictures.'
I stared at him, and the look on my face seemed to amuse him. He laughed. 'I'm glad you're here, Anita, because I don't know a single other person who I'd have admitted this to. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I laid my hand on top of theirs, and all I could think was, Is this how revolutions begin? Not with a proclamation or a riot, but with a few people in a room somewhere with their hands clasped and a purpose. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how
wonderful it was. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You're up to something," I said.
He turned, eyes wide, long fingers pressed to his heart. "Moi?"
"Yeah, you, — Laurell K. Hamilton

I was caught between going yippy-skippy i get to play with them both, and running like hell. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I looked at Micah, who shrugged. I looked at Rafael, who shook his head. Nice that none of us knew why he was undressing. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I wasn't afraid of him anymore, because I could smell his fear. You never had to be afraid of anything that was afraid of you. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Even officers who don't approve of your lifestyle choices would still take you as backup over Kirkland, or most anyone else. They'd say how you're bad for shaking up with vampires and wereleopards, but in a firefight they'd take your vampire-loving, furry-fucking ass over most anyone else's. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Who is the love of my life? Maybe I don't have one. Maybe it's not love at all. But if it's not love, then what is it? I wish I knew. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Richard was a riddle with no answer, and I was tired of playing a game I couldn't win. — Laurell K. Hamilton

What do you do with a master vampire that won't leave you alone? Good question. Unfortunately, what I needed was a good answer. — Laurell K. Hamilton

In real life I do violence, but for psychic stuff I do other things better. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I thought of several alec smart remarks, but you should humor crazy people when you're at their mercy; it's a rule. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I glanced at George half naked in his towel, then at Barkley, completely naked in his ... nothing. A vampire and a werewolf.
I shook my head. It was obvious. I was having one of my Anita Blake dreams again. — Michelle Rowen

We're making a list."
"And checking it twice." Edward shook his head. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I'd learned a long time ago that you can't prove a negative. You can prove that you did something, but it's the devil to prove you didn't do something. — Laurell K. Hamilton

J.J kissed Jason and said, "I'm going to freshen up and change into something more comfortable." She walked toward the bathroom, big bag swinging at her side.
I called after her, "Is it really more comfortable, or just the opposite?"
She laughed. "You'll see soon enough."
"Shit, that means I need lingerie too. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Sometimes love isn't about being smart. Sometimes it's about being stupid together. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You are an irritating son of a bitch."
"Ah, ma petite, how can I resist you when you whisper such sweet endearments to me? — Laurell K. Hamilton

In some ways you are as sentimental as Richard,' she said. 'But you could kill us, all of us, even Stephen's brother, and feel nothing.'
I met her honey brown eyes and said, 'I'd feel something.'
'What?' she asked.
'Safer,' I said. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I'm not sure there are enough white roses in the world to make me forget Richard." I held up my hand before she could interrupt. "But I'm not sure there are enough cozy afternoons in all eternity to make me forget Jean-Claude. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Dead is the stoppest stop of all. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Edward: I don't know whether to put my fingers in my ears and go la-la-la or find more of your guards so we can take bets. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You're the scarest motherfucker in the room. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He smiled and extended a hand. "I knew you would do it, ma petite."
"You arrogant son of a bitch." I smashed the shotgun butt into his stomach. He doubled over just enough. I hit him in the jaw. He rocked back. "Get out of my mind! — Laurell K. Hamilton

The sunken grave would fade away, probably in my lifetime. If I could avoid killer zombies for a few years. And vampires. And gun-toting humans. Oh, hell, the hot-spot would probably outlast me. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I sat on the bed. Neither of us said anything. I wasn't slick and sophisticated enough for this. What do you say to boyfriend A when he finds you naked in the bed of boyfriend B? Especially if boyfriend A turned into a monster the night before and ate someone. I bet Miss Manners didn't cover this at all. — Laurell K. Hamilton

All men love to talk about themselves, even the ones who are completely buggers. — Laurell K. Hamilton

The rule is that if they have a weapon and want to take you someplace else, it is so they can kill you slower
Peter — Laurell K. Hamilton

It's not about winning, Haven. I'm not a prize to be won. I'm not the princess that needs rescuing from the dragon. I'm the prince and I kill my own monsters. You need to be ok with that. -Anita Blake — Laurell K. Hamilton

You're the scariest motherfucker in the room. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I knew from the moment I heard you, the moment I saw the gun and realized that this lovely, petit woman was the executioner, that you would never die waiting for me to save you - that you would save yourself. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You look like shit." Jason smiled, without opening his eyes.
"You sweet-talker. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Love mattered, in the end. A house without love would always fall, maybe not today or tomorrow, but in the end without love nothing could endure. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He wanted you dead, now he doesn't, I don't know why. Chimera's crazy, he doesn't need a reason to change his mind. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I will bathe in your warmth ma petite. Roll you around me until my heart beats only for you. My breath will grow warm from your kiss. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Let's pretend it is a threat, because you need to understand that the other officers aren't keeping me safe from you; they're keeping you safe from me. — Laurell K. Hamilton

She was hell on wheels and used to getting her own way. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I look like a biker slut from hell meets soldier of fortune pinup. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I felt like shit, but it was happy shit. — Laurell K. Hamilton

When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect — Laurell K. Hamilton

One thing I've learned about vampires
they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention. — Laurell K. Hamilton

And just like that I had my lesson. I shouldn't assume that every woman a man bashes gave him a him a good reason to do it.- Anita Blake — Laurell K. Hamilton

The tears were back, stinging just behind my eyes. There was blood all over my penguins. I didn't give a damn about the walls and carpet. They could be replaced, but I'd collected those damned stuffed toys over years. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Is your hair as soft as all those curls look?"
"No. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. — Laurell K. Hamilton

It wasn't just my beast's hunger, but Jean-Claude's blood thirst and Richard's craving for flesh. It was all that and the ardeur running through all of it, so that one hunger fed into the next in an endless chain, a snake eating it's own tail, an Ouroboros of desires. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Women may get to wear lots of
pretty colors, but men get the comfortable shoes.
Anita Blake Vampire Hunter — Laurell K. Hamilton

The true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. You have to love Anita Blake ... ... — Laurell K. Hamilton

I want nothing more than to climb between the silk sheets and wrap our nude bodies around one another. I want to hold and be held. Sex is a wondrous thing, but tonight I wish to be comforted more than pleasured. I feel like a child in the dark who knows the monsters are under the bed. I want to be told it will be alright, but I am far too old to believe such comforting lies.
- Jean-Claude — Laurell K. Hamilton

Is he your only child? I asked, "my only son" padma said. "My condolences" I said ... Anita Blake — Laurell K. Hamilton

When crime busting is easier than your personal life, something has gone seriously wrong. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I stared at Jean-Claude and it wasn't the beauty of him that made me love him, it was just him. It was love made up of a thousand touches, a million conversations, a trillion shared looks. A love made up of danger shared, enemies conquered, a determination to neither of us would change the other, even if we could. I love Jean-Claude, all of him, because if I took away the Machiavellian plottings, the labyrinth of his mind, it would lessen him, make him someone else. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I wasn't crying, my eyes were running. My eyes were running because there were pieces of zombies all over my toys. Jesus. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Death, jewelry, or magic; it sounded like Valentine's Day. — Laurell K. Hamilton

She doesn't understand what she's asking, Jean-Claude said.
No, but she asks, and if we do not do it, we will always wonder. I would rather thy and fail than regret having never tried at all. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Every ruler should strive for his people to love him. But if they cannot love you, then make them fear you. Love is better, but fear will do the job. — Laurell K. Hamilton

One serial killer sends me a human head in a box, and I get all spooked; Go figure. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers? — Laurell K. Hamilton

I am sincere, ma petite, even when I lie. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I know you can throw holy water on the vampire, but I didn't know you could throw the host." (Sheriff St. John)
I had to smile. "They aren't like little holy grenades. I want the host to give to the Quinlans so they can put one at every windowsill, every doorsill." (Anita Blake) — Laurell K. Hamilton

Lately, when I didn't have room to bitch, I didn't. Maturity, at last. — Laurell K. Hamilton

We aren't the good guys, Anita. We're the necessary guys. -Edward — Laurell K. Hamilton

Grimes believed in what he did, with no doubts. Though he was older than me by over a decade, I suddenly felt old. Some things mark your soul, not in years but in blood and pain and selling off parts of yourself to get the bad guys, until you finally look in the mirror and aren't sure which side you're on anymore. There comes a point when having a badge doesn't make you the good guy, it just makes you one of the guys. I needed to be one of the good guys, or what the hell was I doing? — Laurell K. Hamilton

Richard has informed me he is shopping for his white picket fence. I'm happy behind my black wrought iron fence. The one with the pointy spikes on top. White never really was my color. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He made a small sigh, as he swallowed the first blood, then his mouth closed over my earlobe, mouth working at the wound, tongue coaxing blood from the wound. He pressed his body the length of mine, one hand cupping my turned head, the other playing down the line of my body. Maybe it was just blood, but I never stroked my steak while eating it. — Laurell K. Hamilton