Airline Humor Quotes & Sayings

Why do airline pilots always call passengers "folks"? I don't usually take umbrage at generic terminology
I'm one of those forward-thinkers who believes that "man" encompasses the whole darned race
but at whatever 0'clock in the mornning. I thought it would be nice to be called sometihng that suggested unwashed masses a little less. — C.E. Murphy

Airline fees are ridiculous. I heard they're going to start charging for cabin pressure. — Em Elless

I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger. — Steven Wright

When she finally got to the desk, the airline employee was surprisingly upbeat. "Your best bet is to Apparate."
"Sorry?"
"Just a little Harry Potter humor," he said. — Rainbow Rowell

Humor is not about problems with airline luggage handlers. It's about our lives in America and it's about the ends of our lives and it's about everything that happens after that and everything that happened before. — Garrison Keillor

We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral. — Anthony Jeselnik