Achmed Jeff Quotes & Sayings

I have heard that he who knows what is enough will not let himself be entangled by thoughts of gain; that he who really understands how to find satisfaction will not be afraid of other kinds of loss; and that he who practices the cultivation of what is within him will not be ashamed because he holds no position in society. — Zhuangzi

I don't think you ever will yourself to win. I think you prepare yourself the best you can, get yourself in the best mindset you can get in, and go after it. — Jack Nicklaus

Intelligence is measured by a person's ability to see validity within both sides of contradicting arguments. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Knock, knock.
Jeff Dunham: Who's there?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Me, I kill you! — Jeff Dunham

So Achmed if you've been in my suitcase this entire time how have you been getting through security? Oh thats easy they open the suitcase and i say 'ello my name is lindey lohan! — Jeff Dunham

With any part you play, there is a certain amount of yourself in it. There has to be, otherwise it's just not acting. It's lying. — Johnny Depp

It's one of the great gifts of having so little money that you are able to make these kinds of radical conceits that you could never afford to do had you had a reasonable budget,. — Todd Solondz

To feel alone is to be alone. — Jonathan Safran Foer

Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar'
No no no no no' Jeff
You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard' Achmed"
-Achmed the dead terrorist and Jeff — Jeff Dunham

For us, it's a matter of just staying alive and getting the best deal we can now. Eventually, this will all straighten out. It may be two generations away or 10 generations away, but time is irrelevant in that sense. As long as we, as a people, stay alive, we will survive. — John Trudell

Achmed: Two Jews walk into a bar...
Jeff: No no no no no
Achmed: You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist bastard. — Jeff Dunham

With proper design, the features come cheaply. This approach is arduous, but continues to succeed. — Dennis Ritchie

I like to be around people, so I ended up being roommates, right? I had a house. I lived with four guys. — Kevin McCarthy

Weakness has its hidden resources, as well as strength. There is a degree of folly and meanness which we cannot calculate upon, and by which we are as much liable to be foiled as by the greatest ability or courage. — William Hazlitt

Shut up or i'll kill you by Achmed the dead tarries. — Jeff Dunham