A Quiz Quotes & Sayings

What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman! — Frankie Boyle

There are those who will say that I brought this upon myself. By dabbling in that quiz show. They will wag a finger at me and remind me of what the elders in Dharavi say about never crossing the dividing line that separates the rich from the poor. After all, what business did a penniless waiter have to be participating in a brain quiz? The brain is not an organ we are authorized to use. We are supposed to use only our hands and legs. — Vikas Swarup

Princess. By S. Morgenstern. It's a kids' classic. Tell him I'll quiz him on it when I'm back next week and that he doesn't have to like it or anything, but if he doesn't, tell him I'll kill myself. Give him that message exactly please; I wouldn't want to apply any extra pressure or anything. — William Goldman

My generation knew pretty well what happened 50 years before our birth. Now I follow all the quiz programs because they are a paramount example of the span of memory of the young generation - they are able to remember everything that happened in their life but not before. — Umberto Eco

I tried - not because I really had an appetite for genetics - but because I couldn't bear the thought that Will would go on and on at me if I didn't. He was like that now. He was actually a bit of a bully. And, really annoyingly, he would quiz me on how much I had read of something, just to make sure I really had. — Jojo Moyes

After I had written seventeen full-length mysteries, two volumes of mini-mysteries, a travel guide and some quiz books, not to mention a spin-off Roman Mystery Scrolls series, I thought it was time I moved to new historical pastures. — Caroline Lawrence

A woman's magazine quiz:
Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, "Was it good for you?"
You:
a. Say, "God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life"
b. Say, "Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man."
c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, "That's for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished — Christopher Moore

Albus: First question. What do you know about the Triwizard tournament?
Scorpius(happy): Ooooh, a quiz! Three schools pick three champions to compete in three tasks for one cup. What's that got to do with anything?
Albus: You really are an enormous geek, you know that?
Scorpius: Ya-huh. — J.K. Rowling

The first shot causes warm rain to fall on Diana's arms from the sky. The second plants a mirrored jewel in the left temporal lobe of her brain ... a place she could have named on a quiz but which now seems to be the place where the future is imagined, the place where what would have been is. — Laura Kasischke

A quick quiz. What do the following events have in common? The war in Iraq. The Exxon Valdez oil spill. The rise in America's prison population. The answer: They all contribute to our nation's gross national product, or what's now referred to as gross domestic product, or GDP, and therefore all are considered "good," at least in the dismal eyes of economists. — Eric Weiner

There is no cramming for a test of character. It always comes as a pop quiz. — Andy Stanley

Reportage is violence. Violence to the spirit. Violence to the emotional sympathy that should quicken in you and me when face to face we meet with pain. How many defeated among our own do we step over and push aside on our way home to watch the evening news? "Terrible" you said at Somalia, Bosnia, Ethiopia, Russia, China, the Indian earthquake, the American floods, and then you watched a quiz show or a film because there's nothing you can do, nothing you can do, and the fear and unease that such powerlessness brings, trails in its wash, a dead arrogance for the beggar on the bridge that you pass every day. Hasn't he got legs and a cardboard box to sleep in?
And still we long to feel. — Jeanette Winterson

Unprecedented yearning for fame. In a survey in 1976, people ranked being famous 15th out of 16 possible life goals. By 2007, 51% of young people said it was one of their principal ambitions. On a recent multiple-choice quiz, nearly twice as many middle-school girls said they would rather be a celebrity's personal assistant than the president of Harvard University. — Anonymous

Basically, I like research because research is like to solve the quiz, you know. Always there is a problem, and I have to solve the problem. So I like those patterns. It's almost like research is sort of in a quiz. — Shuji Nakamura

I'm still kind of a hapless character in my everyday life. But when it comes to the writing, my influences are very old influences. I love American music of absolutely all stripes, including show tunes, advertising jingles, theme tunes from quiz shows, all kinds of American music. — Nick Lowe

That's why when I send a postcard I quiz people. "Hey, did you get that postcard?" "Yeah, yeah yeah." "Well what'd I say?" "Uh, you were havin-" "I was in jail" — Jim Gaffigan

A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed. — Andy Zaltzman

Pop quizzes were killers. Like ambushing assassins they elicited fear and loathing in the prey, and a certain heady power in the hunter. — J.D. Robb

Faith is more than getting a theological quiz right. Faith is to know, to assent, to put your trust in, and to cherish what is true. — Kevin DeYoung

Cheating on a quiz show? That's sort of like plagiarizing a comic strip. — Paul Scofield

If we were to do the Second Coming of Christ in color for a full hour, there would be a considerable number of stations which would decline to carry it on the grounds that a Western or a quiz show would be more profitable. — Edward R. Murrow

Johnny appeared out of nowhere to save the day, reaching clumsily over Harriet's head to punch the correct answer on the touch screen with just milliseconds to spare. Sukie exhaled in relief; she took her quiz machine investments very seriously; after all, £2 could be a small fortune to a student the wrong side of Reading Week. — Erin Lawless

A study at the University of Utah found that if you ask someone why he is friendly with someone else, he'll say it is because he and his friend share similar attitudes. But if you actually quiz the two of them on their attitudes, you'll find out that what they actually share is similar activities. We're friends with the people we do things with, as much as we are with the people we resemble. We don't seek out friends, in other words. We associate with the people who occupy the same small, physical spaces that we do. — Malcolm Gladwell

How does Parker's body compare with yours " Great. A pop quiz I thought recognizing his transition into lecture mode. "How does Parker's body compare with mine Hmm." I gave Parker a quick theatrical once-over and he smiled clearly catching on to my line of thought. "Nice legs and killer biceps. But I have better boobs. No question. — Rachel Vincent

My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause. — Mitch Hedberg

Your ability to name every single variation of Kryptonite and every first issue in which it appears is a great pop quiz skill, but is not a great writing skill, all right? So just because you can do that doesn't mean you know how to write. — Greg Rucka

Duke to Michel: I'm fairly certain that even if
you'd struggle in a quiz against a pigeon, you are capable enough of opening doors. — Elias Zapple

Ah, mother! How do you do?' said he, giving her a hearty shake of the hand; 'Where did you get that quiz of a hat? It makes you look like an old witch ... '
On his two younger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of them how they did, and observed that they both looked very ugly. — Jane Austen

This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay hundreds of millions of dollars under this plan. I think it was Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, the guys who do the quiz shows. But almost everybody else would be off really cheap. — Dave Barry

So Brandon, would you like to take... A POP QUIZ??!! — Rachel Renee Russell

Behind us, the man laughed. "Looks like we aren't the only ones looking for a little diversion. There's an empty office right over there, guys."
Marsten raised his hand in thanks. The couple moved on. I let the kiss continue for five more seconds, then pulled away.
"They're gone," I said.
Marsten frowned, as if surprised-and disappointed-that I'd noticed. I tugged my hair from his hands.
"Okay, coast clear," I said. "Let's go."
He let out a small laugh. "I see I need to brush up on my kissing."
"No, you have that down pat."
"She says with all the excitement of a teacher grading a math quiz ... "
"A-plus. Now let's move. Before someone else comes along. — Kelley Armstrong

Isn't life a collection of weird quizzes with no answers to half the questions? — Pawan Mishra

Sometimes I'll say, "I wrote that book," and the person will look at you as if you're really strange. One time that happened to my daughter on a plane. She was sitting next to a girl who was reading one of my books and my daughter said, "My mother wrote that book." And the girl started to quiz my daughter, asking her all sorts of questions, like what are the names of Judy's children and where did she grow up. My daughter thought it was so funny. — Judy Blume

India may be the soul of world cricket, but IPL is its commercial heart. Just as 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' changed the ground rules for quiz shows by injecting a massive dose of money into the equation, IPL has changed the dynamics of the cricket economy. — Vikas Swarup

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first. — Mitch Hedberg

Early on, America took one path and went down the advertising road, and in the UK they founded the BBC and developed a different kind of public broadcasting. There was a point where TV was so beholden to commercial interest that people - civil society - actually rose up and said, "This is ridiculous: we have our soap-selling soap operas, cigarette-sponsored news broadcast; we have our rigged quiz shows - let's put some checks and balances here." — Astra Taylor

You can tell James Duthie to shove that quiz. I have a few other words I can tell you about the quiz. — John Tortorella

i really, really like beating people.
Note: I am not saying I really, really like winning. Winning is a more abstract concept, and in a quiz bowl, winning usually meant having to come back in the next round and do it all over again. No, I liked beating people. I liked seeing the look on the other team's faces when I got a question they couldn't answer. I loved their geektastic disappointment when they realized they weren't good enough to rank up. I loved using trivia to make people doubt themselves. — Holly Black

- Teach me something new, she said, and he bent her back onto the bed and she shivered as his body slid against hers.
- Okay, Phin said. But pay attention, Julie Ann, there'll be a quiz. — Jennifer Crusie

I'm hosting a quiz show, but I never considered myself a game show host. — Maury Povich

Catalyst also provides a handy, free-of-charge quiz that managers could benefit from taking. The quiz can help leaders understand whether their organizations are inclusive and what areas need to be improved. — Ruchika Tulshyan

All of our TaskRabbits go through a vetting process, which includes an online application, a video interview, a series of background checks, and then an online quiz that they have to pass before they're activated on the site. — Leah Busque

[When I was with the wrong man], it felt like our relationship was a gigantic puzzle - a huge existential and emotional quiz that, if I applied myself to enough, I would solve and gain the result of True Love. After all, the ingredients for us to be the perfect couple were there ... The problem was just that he was unhappy. I knew that. I knew it in my bones. When I found the way the way to make him happy, everything would be fine. He was broken, and I was going to fix him - then the good bit of our relationship would start to happen. We were just in the tricky, early bit of love, where I'd undo all the bad stuff and let him finally be who he was, secretly, inside. Secretly, inside, he did love me. My steadfastness would provide it. If it didn't work, it was simply because I hadn't tried hard enough. — Caitlin Moran

Redford always has been a cool presence both before and behind the camera. His best movie as a filmmaker, 1994's 'Quiz Show,' exhibits a classicism verging on self-repression, and the social indignation in many of his films engages more than moves you. — Steve Erickson

That's when it happens. The moment of death is full of heat and sound and pain bigger than anything, a funnel of burning heat splitting me in two, something searing and scorching and tearing, and if screaming were a feeling it would be this.
Then nothing. I know some of you are thinking maybe I deserved it. Maybe I shouldn't have sent that rose to Juliet or dumped my drink on her at the party. Maybe I shouldn't have copied off of Lauren Lornet's quiz. Maybe I shouldn't have said those things to Kent. There are probably some of you who think I deserved it because I was going to let Rob go all the way
because I wasn't going to save myself.
But before you start pointing fingers, is what I did really so bad? So bad I deserved to die? So bad I deserved to die like THAT?
Is what I did really so much worse than what anybody else does?
Is it really so much worse than what YOU do?
Think about it. — Lauren Oliver

In this area, people watched reality shows and awful quiz shows, gorging themselves on junk food and moving further and further away from the opportunities that a good education or realistic ambitions could provide. — Jussi Adler-Olsen

-NONREADING-


Bookstores don't provide
a remote control for Proust,
you can't switch
to a soccer match,
or a quiz show, win a Cadillac.


We live longer
but less precisely
and in shorter sentences.


We travel faster, farther, more often,
but bring back slides instead of memories.
Here I am with some guy.
There I guess that's my ex.
Here everyone's naked
so this must be a beach.


Seven volumes - mercy.
Couldn't it be cut or summarized,
or better yet put into pictures.
There was that series called "The Doll,"
but my sister-in-law says that's some other P.*


And by the way, who was he anyway.
They say he wrote in bed for years on end.
Page after page
at a snail's pace.
But we're still going in fifth gear
and, knock on wood, never better. — Wislawa Szymborska

The World's Smallest Political Quiz is responsible for many Americans' first contact with libertarian ideas. While traveling around the country, I have often heard people say, 'I never knew I was a libertarian until I took the Quiz!' — Ron Paul

Congratulations. So far, you've both scored a hundred percent on the quiz."
"Quiz?" Liam blinked, then looked at Hammer, his eyes wide. "Shit, we didn't study, mate."
"If Seth is giving the quiz, we're good. He can't be smarter than us," Hammer said in a stage whisper. — Shayla Black

Mrs. Rondle gave us a pop quiz. So lame. — Kristin Hannah

My favorite thing in the world is a quiz show, 'University Challenge,' so you can see what kind of sad person I am. — Lynne Truss

My idea of relaxation is not lying down by a beach. I have to move around, do stuff. Though I'm a massive quiz show person. — Daniel Radcliffe

If you plan to pass the pop quiz later, I'd advise it."
"It ain't a pop quiz if you warn people beforehand. Doofus."
"That's llygad-doofus to you, and did I say pop quiz? 'Cuz I meant ninja-quiz since you'll never see it coming. — Adrian Phoenix

A certain young scholar of Shiz Right before a philosophy quiz Guzzled splits of champagne So that he could declaim I drink, and therefore I is. — Gregory Maguire

I exclusively attended public school ... And I can honestly say that on the day of my graduation, if you had given me a pop quiz on history, science, or math, I would have in no way been able to pass it - despite the fact that I completely understood it at the time that it had been 'taught' to me, and had even made a good 'grade' on it. — Jessica Bowman

Ever since the infamous quiz show scandals of the 1950s, the feds had insisted that TV game shows be honest - or that at least they didn't cheat. So as a 'Dating Game' bachelor, I didn't know what I was going to be asked. The other bachelors and I were required to concoct our answers in real time. — Seth Shostak

Even as he mentally went over the details of the major events of 1920s United States history for a quiz, he had plenty of leftover brainpower to consider how his back ached from leaning over the engine, the grease he could feel in his ear, the frustration of this rusted head stud, the proximity of his court date, and the presence of others here on the ley line. — Maggie Stiefvater

I got an A on the third quiz in American history,
an A,
dammit.
Last time I got a B
up from a C
and my father said,
"if you can get a C
you can get a B,
if you can get a B
you can get an A."-
I got an A
and my father said,
"grades don't mean anything. — Thalia Chaltas

The worst thing about the internet, as far as Greg's bosses were concerned, was that it was now impossible to distinguish a roomful of people working diligently from a roomful of people taking the What-Kind-of-Dog-Am-I? online personality quiz — Rainbow Rowell

I was also supposed to quiz my various companions on a number of important matters such as nostalgia, fear of unknown animals, food fantasies, nocturnal emissions, hobbies, choice of radio program, changes in out look and so forth. — Vladimir Nabokov

Young ladies have a remarkable way of letting you know that they think you a "quiz" without actually saying the words. A certain superciliousness of look, coolness of manner, nonchalance of tone, express fully their sentiments on the point, without committing them by any positive rudeness in word or deed. — Charlotte Bronte

Who wants to get cake? - Following a pop quiz — Graham Peterson

Quiz 1. Leeuwenhoek saw microorganisms in (a) polio sufferers (b) belly button fuzz (c) malaria victims (d) dental plaque — Anonymous

I was a bookworm who aced every test - until third grade, when my teacher handed out a pop quiz about Jesus and the Apostles. — Caroline Leavitt

Lucas was fifteen minutes late to class on Friday, and we had a pop quiz first thing - which he missed. My first thought was how irresponsible it was to miss a quiz ... and then I remembered that I missed the midterm. I couldn't exactly point any fingers. — Tammara Webber

A surprise trigonometry quiz that everyone in class fails? Must be in the Lord's plan to give us challenges. — Nicholas Sparks

Fortunately, human forgetting follows a pattern. We forget exponentially. A graph of our likelihood of getting the correct answer on a quiz sweeps quickly downward over time and then levels off. — Gary Wolf

Some people don't even realize they're bitter. If you don't know whether you are or not, here's a quick quiz you can give yourself. If you ever wake up in the morning and the first thing you say is "Oh, fuck, not again," you might be a little bitter. — Marc Maron

pg. 58. As a kid, I always assumed the know-it-alls on Jeopardy! were obviously the smartest people in America. If you were smart, that's how you showed it: by knowing all your state flowers and kings of Saxony. But what if Rob's right and that's a different, much shallower kind of intelligence? Is my mountain of flash cards all for naught? — Ken Jennings

I'm not a really big comic book person. I know the typical ones - 'Spider-Man' and 'Wonder Woman' and 'Storm' and that stuff. But don't quiz me, because I'm not good at things like that. — Christian Serratos

The best thing about Ikea - I'm going to do a quiz here - the names. Do you know what a Floria Fin (ph) is? It's a candle. A Pogestra (ph) - table. A Bar Grick (ph) is a plate, an Eterleeg (ph) is a wine glass and a Scuggle (ph) is the name of my third nipple. — Greg Gutfeld