Quotes & Sayings About A Ex Boyfriend

We knew we were doomed. The kiss was a warm acceptance of years of bickering, years of me consuming foods that I found barely edible and Henry tidying up after someone who already thought she had tidied up. When I kissed Henry I wasn't imagining Ex-boyfriend #13; I was picturing Husband #1. — Lisa Lutz

I had to agree with one ex-boyfriend of one crackhead complainant who'd gone missing, when he told me with disdain, 'This is a whole big bunch of unbelievable! — Edward Conlon

But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was. — Rachel Vincent

So I could write a story about a girl who was a lot like me, her ex-boyfriend, who was a lot like Satan, witha twitchy eyelid and a penis the size of a worn-down nub of an eraser. — Jennifer Weiner

Do you have any idea where she could be? Friends? Family? An ex or a secret boyfriend?" Kenny asked. If I did I wouldn't be here wasting my time with you, would I? "I — J.C. Reed

It doesn't take a miracle or a natural disaster to live in the world that you're after, the change is gonna happen to you — Michael Tolcher

I'd never kissed a girl before. Ever. And I never thought the first girl I kissed would be drunk, vomiting, and crying over her ex-boyfriend. Not to mention, she went to school with my little sister. — Beth Fred

My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take. — Chelsea Handler

Zulu!" I raced up to his side and stopped him. "I can explain my weird behavior."
"So you're not just crazy?" His blond eyebrows rose as he grinned.
"Well, that's the point. I am crazy." I raked my fingers through my hair and blew out a long breath. "I set my ex-boyfriend and the two women he was cheating with on fire. They were all in the hospital for several months."
He didn't say anything and just continued to stare.
Feel like running away yet?
"So," I said. "I'm not the sanest person you could spend your time trying to be with."
He flashed me a huge smile. "If someone touched you now, they would be lucky to have only one month in the hospital."
Oh, my goodness.
"Okay. I don't think you understand me." I held my hands out to my sides. "What I am trying to say is I'm insanely jealous and act on it in violent ways that are frankly detrimental - "
"You have a few more weeks." He tapped his watch. "And then I'm coming for you."
Coming for me? — Kenya Wright

I scowled. "Murphy's made of muscle. You just can't see it under the suit and the body armor," I said. "And she hasn't gotten lucky with me either." Ascher stared at me for a second and blinked slowly. "You're . . . serious, aren't you?" "We're complicated," I said. "Because you're twitchy?" "And she's had a couple of divorces. And her ex-boyfriend kind of shot me." "What?" "I asked him to," I said hurriedly. "What? — Jim Butcher

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. — Charlaine Harris

My ex-boyfriend said, 'You have a better chance of getting elected to Congress than getting on the staff of a television show.' Which was the perfect thing for him to say, because my entire career is, 'Well, screw you.' And we broke up. — Jenji Kohan

If you had a man when I was your friend and then we started hooking up and you broke up with your boyfriend, so now we're together and you have a new male friend? I'm going to look at you sideways because your character's horrible and now I'm thinking you're going to do to me what you did to your ex. — Damien Lemon

Okay," I said, "so what does all that have to do with his dead mistress, her dead ex-boyfriend with the dirty pictures or the entire Rossetti crime family?" Trixie shrugged. "I dunno, let's go ask him." "Ask who?" I said, a little lost. "Roger Mayfield," she said simply. "Isn't that what I wanted to do at nine o'clock in the morning?" I asked, annoyed. "Nine thirty-seven," she reminded. "And there's a difference." "Which is?" I asked. "When you wanted to do it, it was a stupid idea," she said with a smile. — Gregg Taylor

I took a kind of ex-boyfriend initiative. I guess I wanted to know whether the past was still breathing inside of us. Because inasmuch as I had been irrelevant to their destiny for such a long time, I felt they had become irrelevant to my life for too many years. Unconsciously, something inside me rejected this notion and wanted to make it right. — Michka Assayas

We who are your closest friends feel the time has come to tell you that every Thursday we have been meeting, as a group, to devise ways to keep you in perpetual uncertainty frustration discontent and torture by neither loving you as much as you want nor cutting you adrift. Your analyst is in on it, plus your boyfriend and your ex-husband; and we have pledged to disappoint you as long as you need us. In announcing our association we realize we have placed in your hands a possible antidote against uncertainty indeed against ourselves. But since our Thursday nights have brought us to a community of purpose rare in itself with you as the natural center, we feel hopeful you will continue to make unreasonable demands for affection if not as a consequence of your disastrous personality then for the good of the collective. — Anne Lamott

I love that I am but one of millions of single girls hitting the road by themselves these days. A hateful little ex-boyfriend once said that a houseful of cats used to be the sign of a terminally single woman, but not it's a house full of souvenirs acquired on foreign adventures. He said it derogatorily: Look at all of this tragic overcompensating in the form of tribal masks and rain sticks. But I say that plane tickets replacing cats might be the best evidence of women's progress as a gender. I'm damn proud of us. Also, since I have both a cat and a lot of foreign souvenirs, I broke up with that dude and went on a really great trip. — Kristin Newman

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma. — Jo Brand

You started like a saint and now you've finished like a thief — Stephen Kellogg

I've survived beach bunny cheerleaders, a sluthunting , ex-boyfriend, and five years of cross-country camp. I'm not afraid of some throwback to ancient myth with astrocious highlights and a Barbra Streisand nose. — Tera Lynn Childs

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend. — Greg Behrendt

Once, I'd made the mistake of not trusting. When I found Poppy kissing her ex-boyfriend, I'd assumed the worst and left the scene without even trying to talk to her. She'd done it as a purposeful attempt to drive us apart, unable to bear the guilt of being the catalyst for my schism from the clergy. If I had trusted her, if I had stayed, we could have had another year together. Instead, I'd run away, believing that she was unfaithful, and we'd spent a year miserably apart. — Sierra Simone

Meena wasn't sure which she found more disturbing: that she'd been hunting her ex-boyfriend's murderous wife with a hair dryer beneath the streets of Manhattan, or that when she opened her eyes after having been knocked unconscious by this person, she realized she'd been rescued by another one of her ex-boyfriends. — Meg Cabot

I know. Life is so unfair. I'm still not going to pee on Karou's ex-boyfriend for you." "What? I wasn't even going to ask you to." In her most reasonable tone, Zuzana explained explained, "I just want you to pee in a balloon so I can drop it on him. — Laini Taylor

One Saturday morning walking to the farmers' market with my lover she tells me she needs to look like a man on the street. She hates binding her breasts. Hates having breasts, hates not passing. I press her. I ask her, but what do you feel like when you're naked in bed with me? Do you like your body then? She is quiet. Later she tells me she had a dream. Her mother brought home a bottle of medicine from the hospital for her. The doctor says she has to take it. The medicine is testosterone.

On Shabbat I remember to pray for enough space inside of me to hold all the darkness of the night and all the sunlight of the day. I pray for enough space for transformations as miraculous as the shift from day to night.

Later when that lover has changed his name and an ex-boyfriend has come out to me as a lesbian I go to visit my best friend's sister-turned-brother-turned-sister-again and she tells me about the blessing of having many names and using them all at once. — M.J. Kaufman

We linked hands - my ex-boyfriend, my boyfriend, and my former friend-then-enemy-then friend and I - and walked through a door to see if maybe empty carbs were good for something after all. — Kiersten White

I get some female attention from fans, but mostly it's people asking for advice about a situation with their ex or their boyfriend, so it's not all love letters and fan mail! — Matthew Hussey

I didn't know what else to do. So now I'm here, my pride in the toilet, hoping I can stay in my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's bachelor pad, and I want to kill myself. And I can suffer through that if it means James will be safe. But right now I'm still waiting for your shithead of a boyfriend to show up and try to kill me. — Tahereh Mafi

Your extracurricular activities are definitely somewhat lackluster, Annie."
"What? Being the daughter of a celebrated criminal doesn't count as an extracurricular activity?"
"No," Scarlet said. "A case could be made for poisoning your ex-boyfriend however. — Gabrielle Zevin

He stretches his legs out underneath the table and checks Facebook on his phone. It tells him things he doesn't need to know about people he hasn't seen in years. He absorbs their aggressively worded opinions and quasi-political hate-speak. He sees a photograph of his ex-girlfriend with her new boyfriend smiling at a picnic and he realises, with a strange cascade of emptiness, that she is pregnant and wearing an engagement ring. The comments are jubilant. He reads every word before he forces himself to put his phone down. A loneliness descends. He feels its familiar talons grabbing him violently out of his chair and hanging him, swinging, up by the ceiling. Pete — Kate Tempest

What the Hell is a meteor hammer?" "Big heavy steel ball on the end of a long chain." "Huh. Have you ever used it on a person?" Ember got very interested in her beverage. "Oh, no, Officer Miranda. No matter what my cheating skag of an ex-boyfriend says about the hail damage to his truck, I've never used it on anyone or anything that wasn't a legitimate practice target at my sifu's school." Ember — Bryan Fields

So you're going shopping with your ex-boyfriend to find an outfit to snare your next boyfriend? Oh, what a tangled web you weave. — Jillian Dodd

She, herself, had only been in love once and it ended worse than a train wreck would, and she hated herself for what she had become because of it. Because of her ex-boyfriend, she didn't trust easily, she didn't date as much anymore, and she found herself not believing in love anymore. She told herself that after him, she was never going to put her heart through love again. — Courtney Carola

But there was a catalyst, an event, a moment which changed everything and not just for us. This is good for storytelling but bad for decision making, and it is frightening to look back and realize, were it not for that moment, all of our lives would have been so different. maybe that's revisionist history. Maybe it's me making origin myths. But I can't shake the conviction that Jason's boyfriend's friend's ex-boyfriend's girlfriend changed the world. — Laurie Frankel

I also think Valkyire's ex-boyfriend will come in handy here."
Ravel frowned, "The dead vampire?"
Valkyrie glared at him, "I think he means Fletcher."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Caelen was never my boyfriend."
"I didn't mean to-"
"We never talk about Caelen," Ghastly muttered."
"I'm really sorry, Valkyrie, Ravel said. "Fletcher's great. He's wonderful. I'm sure he'd be delighted to help, and having a teleporter here will certainly solve some problems. We'll arrange that, we'll get him over to you, start the ball rolling, as it were. Once again, sorry about bringing up the vampire."
Ghastly shot him a look whispered, "Why do you keep talking about him?"
"I can't help it," Ravel whispered back. "Now he's all I can think about."
"You realise," Valkyrie said, "that we can hear you both perfectly well. — Derek Landy

I get so mad about ex-boyfriends, but if a boy hurts me, I don't write a song about it. They don't deserve it! — Selena

I was thinking about the cow thing. About how hanging on to an ex-boyfriend is like chewing your cud until somebody drops a fresh bale of hay in front of you. Or something like that. — Dandi Daley Mackall

Why are you here?" I asked him.
"That's an awfully big question, Anya."
"No, I meant here outside this office. What did you do wrong?"
"Multiple choice," he said. "(a) A few pointed comments I made in Theology. (b) Headmaster wants to have a chat with the new kid about wearing hats in school. (c) My schedule. I'm just too darn smart for my classes. (d) My eyewitness account of the girl who poured lasagna over her boyfriend's head. (e.) Headmaster's leaving her husband and wants to run away with me. (f) None of the above. (g) All of the above."
"Ex-boyfriend," I mumbled.
"Good to know," he said. — Gabrielle Zevin

It's a mood record. Like one night you're going to be down in the dumps depressed because you're thinking about your ex-boyfriend and the next moment you're gonna be like screw him you know? And the next one you're saying to yourself 'God I'm in love.' — Willa Ford

The phone rang, picked up, and the same male voice announced, "Chris Powers."
"Hey there, Chris. Are you aware it's a felony to make threats over the phone?"
To give Powers his fair due, he got over his shock within a split second. "Try it, asshole. I dare you. My lawyers will have you for lunch." He clicked off again.
I did what any red-blooded American male would do. I called my big, ex-cop ex-boyfriend. — Josh Lanyon

A very ex-boyfriend once described me as a little china doll. He meant it as a compliment. I didn't take it that way. There are reasons I don't date much. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I saw Farrah Fawcett originally when she and her boyfriend, Lee Majors, came over to my house for a birthday party that I was having for my ex-wife, Leigh Taylor-Young. — Ryan O'Neal

Maybe it wasn't rational, but she didn't like the idea of Leo invading her little world. Yesterday, Brooklyn had belonged to her. The Long Island 'burbs where she'd grown up had felt far away from the brick streets and renovated factory spaces of Brooklyn. In this job, she'd felt truly independent, putting down her own fragile roots in a new place.

Fast forward twenty-four hours, and her daddy had joined the workplace and her ex-boyfriend had shown up to remind her of all that she'd lost. Really, a girl could be forgiven for feeling slightly hysterical.

Not that there was any time to panic. — Sarina Bowen

I thrust Sophie into a corner, blocking her with my body. She panted and snagged her lower lip in her teeth. "This is not my life," she insisted.
I looked at her solemnly. "I'm afraid it is. But it doesn't have to be for long. Let's just get through this. Then things go back to normal for you."
"Like they keep going back to normal for you?" Sophie hissed. "Ghost of your mother, psycho ex-best friend, company agent dating your dad, psychic vampire ex-boyfriend, werewolf current boyfriend - by the way, I can't blame you for that one," she confessed, eyes round as she mouthed the word whoa before continuing with her list, "Trip to the asylum, attempts against your life, vigilante father ... "
"Hey, the last ones are brand new. And the vigilante father thing? He'll revert."
"Anyhow, I'm not so keen on your concept of normal." I caught her staring at me. — Shannon Delany

I poured some coffee into a mug that read: "I'm not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is," compliments of Peyton — Sandi Lynn

Like a phoenix rising through the fire, my Robbie, my Tesoro rises forward, and I hope and pray that he can take him out. — M.R. Field

Please tell me you have to pee."
"What? No. No, I do not. Don't even ask."
"Oh, come on. I'd do it myself if I could, but I can't. I'm a girl."
"I know. Life is unfair. I'm still not going to pee on Karou's ex-boyfriend for you."
"What? I wasn't even going to ask you to." In her most reasonable tone, Zuzana explained, "I just want you to pee in a balloon so I can drop it on him."
"Oh." Mik pretended to consider this for approximately one and a half second. "No. — Laini Taylor