A Cupcake Quotes & Sayings

When guys in camouflage pants and hunting hats sat around in the Four Aces Diner talking about fearsome things done out-of-doors, I would no longer have to feel like such a cupcake. — Bill Bryson

He isn't at all sweet. But if I wanted sugar, I'd eat a fucking cupcake. I — A. Zavarelli

He shifts awkwardly, and I realize a few things:
First, I'm still clinging to a stranger I fell into like an idiot.
Second, before he moved, I think I felt something hard. Down there. Maybe.
Third, I have cupcake all over my face. — Helena Rac

On my honor, I ain't ever tasting another woman's sexual
favors. Even if the bakery offers 'em up in a cupcake wrapper and
calls 'em whipped dreams. — Jamie Farrell

Sometimes in the midst of all your boy drama, you just need a cupcake. — Susane Colasanti

I'm really boring. I get up early. I go to bed early. I don't smoke or drink. I mean, I'll eat a cupcake. I'm just not a crazy, stay-out-all-night sort of person. I love writing. — Karin Slaughter

It was the ultimate jilted ex-girlfriend moment.
Empty boxes and wrappers of Tastykakes littered the bedroom floor while Celine Dion's "All By Myself" blasted away for the 100th time. Tears streamed down my face as I devoured the last cupcake.
There was no point getting out of bed. I had Celine, a box of tissues, and was moving on to the Butterscotch Krimpets next. — Cecy Robson

Im wearing an outfit that looks just like a cupcake ... a pink frothy blouse, low cut ... everything a little inappropriately girlie ... Pink, pink, lot of pink, ... Out of Practice. — Jennifer Tilly

If you want self-esteem." "Do estimable acts" ~ V, from A Piece of Cake: Memoir — Cupcake Brown

Sometimes I see really skinny girls. They may look great, but ... they're not happy. Have a cupcake. — Kathy Wakile

She was not good on the phone. She needed the face, the pattern of eyes, nose, trembling mouth ... People talking were meant to look at a face, the disastrous cupcake of it, the hide-and-seek of the heart dashing across. With a phone, you said words, but you never watched them go in. You saw them off at the airport but never knew whether there was anyone there to greet them when they got off the plane. — Lorrie Moore

Have we become a cupcake league? We already have better helmets and gear. Wonder how the old school players feel about this. Not in the back of minds when talking about 18 game season so let's play football please ... Even guys using shoulders to hit are getting flagged for helmet-to-helmet. Defense is getting sloppy because guys are avoiding fines and will get worse if suspending comes into play. — Phillip Daniels

I'm not Tom Cruise. I don't have to look that good. I'm always going to have a problem because I'm thought of as someone edgy, but I'm not. I'm a cupcake. — Lance Henriksen

Kota popped in beside North. He glanced around, a finger touching the bridge of his glasses. Were we not invited to the ... zombie-nail-painting-cupcake party? — C.L.Stone

It takes forty muscles to frown, and only twelve to jam a cupcake in your mouth and get over it. — Sarah Ockler

What can I say? I've never met a cupcake I didn't want to get to know better. — Jasinda Wilder

By contrast, my method of eating a cupcake was quite straightforward - step one: gobble it down one large bite at a time until there's nothing left. That's it. — Meg Donohue

Ding! Ding! Ding! I tapped the brass bell in rapid succession until Violet bustled in from the back room, wearing the blue-and-white pinafore that was the SugarWerks's uniform and a frown that was not. The same age as Nic and I, Violet wore her amethyst hair spiked and a brass gearring stud on the left side of her nose. On one set of knuckles, BAKE was tattooed in elaborate black calligraphy; CAKE was on the other. Today she had an aquamarine bow pinned to the top of her head, a silver cupcake and crossbones marking the spot between the two loops of ribbon. — Lisa Mantchev

There's such a buildup of crud in my oven, there's only room to bake a single cupcake. — Phyllis Diller

If you bake a cupcake, the world has one more cupcake. If you become a circus clown, the world has one more squirt of seltzer down someone's pants. But if you win an Olympic gold medal, the world will not have one more Olympic gold medalist. It will just have you instead of someone else. — Steven E. Landsburg

There could be no more welcome sight in the life of a single woman than that of a hunk with a dish towel over his shoulder bringing you a cupcake. — Becky Wade

I've come to the conclusion that it's all about fear- fear that your kid won't come out on top, be a success. Forcing him into these brutal encounters will a) make a dame sure he is a success, and b) all you to see evidence of that success with the added bonus of a cheering crowd. This means that sports are supported with an almost desperate enthusiasm. The football team gets catered dinners before a fame. Honor Society is lucky if it gets a cupcake. Academic success-forget it. That requires too much imagination. There's no scoreboard. — Deb Caletti

I wore a pink Betsey Johnson dress to my prom, and I pretty much looked like a pink cupcake. I loved that dress! — Sarah Gadon

GrayG: Just to clarify, putting the perfectly reasonable and technically correct name aside, shenanigans are a go?
Laughing now, I lean back more comfortably in the ugly plastic airport seat and answer.
IvyMac: All night, Cupcake. I can't wait to taste your frosting.
A couple seconds pass and then,
GrayG: Mac, you sent a dirty text. I just shed a tear of pride. I also have a hard-on. I think the little old lady sitting next to me is checking it out. — Kristen Callihan

There's this secret Korean taco/cupcake truck I go to. To find it, you have to bring a hard-boiled egg to this deli in Bushwick where they give you the address. — Kurt Braunohler

Niccolo released a quick breath. "Will you assist me or not?" he said. "Sure, my little cupcake of despair. Now, normally I charge $12.99 plus shipping and handling, but in this case I'll cut you a deal. — Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Marathon: (noun)
A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it's time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and cupcakes.
See also: masochism, awfulness, "a bunch of bullshit", boob-chafing, cupcake deprivation therapy — Matthew Inman

Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin. — Brian P. Cleary

I checked my phone messages. Three in all.
The first was from Joe. "Hey, Cupcake." That was it. That was the whole message.
The second was from Ranger. "Yo." Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox. — Janet Evanovich

Can I interest you in a dinner cupcake?" "A dinner cupcake?" he scoffs. "Yes, I accidentally bought five." No one needs to know about the cupcake I've already inhaled. "How does one accidently buy five cupcakes?" His eyes sparkle with amusement. "Don't know." I shrug. "Chalk it up to one of life's many mysteries." "So the cupcakes replace dinner?" "Yes, they cover all the important food groups. Eggs for protein, milk for dairy, flour for the starch." "What about a vegetable?" "I'm sure there's vegetable shortening in the batter or the frosting. — A.C. Netzel

You can run, but you can't hide, Cupcake." Morelli said. "I'll find you."
"You are such a cop."
"Tell me about it. — Janet Evanovich

On Saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon That night he had a stomach ache. — Eric Carle

Those big green eyes were even bigger than usual as she stared at the two of them. For a moment, she looked like a kid who'd found the last cupcake on the planet. — Sophie Oak

Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?"
I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about." That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed.
Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts," Ranger said.
My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out. — Janet Evanovich

What are their names? Psycho and Killer?"
He shook his head. "Cupcake and Twinkie."
My mouth dropped open. "You're kidding."
A grin flitted across his lips. "Afraid not."
If naming them after dessert snacks had been Miss Marva's attempt to make them seem cute, it wasn't working. — Lisa Kleypas

I would love to have Snoop Dogg waiting in my office in a cupcake-print suit to tell all my problems to. Wouldn't we all? — Mindy Kaling

You know," I told him,"if you don't know how to eat a cupcake, that's nothing to be ashamed of."
Now he did smile. "I know how to eat a cupcake."
"Sure you do."
"I do," he said. "I just don't want one of those."
"Yeah? Prove it. — Sarah Dessen

You'd rather be here than in Africa. The trump card all narrow-minded nativists play. If you put a cupcake to my head, of course, I'd rather be here than any place in Africa, though I hear Johannesburg ain't that bad and the surf on the Cape Verdean beaches is incredible. However, I'm not so selfish as to believe that my relative happiness, including, but not limited to, twenty-four-hour access to chili burgers, Blu-ray, and Aeron office chairs is worth generations of suffering. I seriously doubt that some slave ship ancestor, in those idle moments between being raped and beaten, was standing knee-deep in their own feces rationalizing that, in the end, the generations of murder, unbearable pain and suffering, mental anguish, and rampant disease will all be worth it because someday my great-great-great-great-grandson will have Wi-Fi, no matter how slow and intermittent the signal is. — Paul Beatty

Paulie Pastrami learned that a misunderstanding could often be settled with a cupcake. — James Proimos

Are you serious? Vi's arm has been magically barbequed and you think she
needs a cupcake? — Rachel Morgan

I imagine she came out of the birth canal holding a cupcake and a spatula. — Katja Millay

A homemade cupcake deserves a homemade icing. — Kim Knott

She frowned. "Did I do or say something yesterday that I should apologize for?"
"Not you cupcake," said Graydon. "But apparently a lot of other people in the Tower have. Rune thinks we should rename it Melrose Place. I think Peyton Place has a more classic feel to it, don't you?"
"Oh no," she said. "You got the tablecloth away from Tricks."
Rune grinned. "Not before the little shit bit me. — Thea Harrison

In her skirted pinkswimsuit, her plump shoulders glistening with suntan lotion and her legs lightly dusted with sand, she looked something like a cupcake. She hadn't ventured into the water at all so far, and neither had Red. In fact, Red was wearing his work shoes and dark socks. Evidently this was the year when the two of them were declaring themselves to be officially old. — Anne Tyler

More than nine million people a year come to the Smokies, many of them to picnic. So bears have learned to associate people with food. Indeed, to them people are overweight creatures in baseball caps who spread lots and lots of food out on picnic tables and then shriek a little and waddle off to get their video cameras when old Mr. Bear comes along and climbs onto the table and starts devouring their potato salad and chocolate cake. Since the bear doesn't mind being filmed and indeed seems indifferent to his audience, pretty generally some fool will come up to it and try to stroke it or feed it a cupcake or something. There is one recorded instance of a woman smearing honey on her toddler's fingers so that the bear would lick it off for the video camera. Failing to understand this, the bear ate the baby's hand. — Bill Bryson

Life's meant to be sweet! Grab a cupcake and enjoy the ride! — Kimmie Easley

PEASEBLOSSOM
A gloaming peace this evening with it brings
In the countryside where we lay our scene
Toad-ballad accompan'd, crickets sing,
and cupcake crumbs make fairy hands unclean.
An indignant Moth squeaked, There were cupcakes?! — Lisa Mantchev

You can't just leave a Mississippi Mud Mountain half-eaten! We leave no cupcake behind! — Molly Harper

Cyrus is the meat and potatoes of my life, but Prudence was a cupcake I could enjoy just for the sheer sweetness of being with her. — Bette Lee Crosby

Being with Josh is like being touched from the inside out. An unexpected blaze of sunshine on an otherwise bleak winter day. Wrapping your fingers around a mug of hot chocolate after walking home in that frigid lake-effect wind. A fire crackling softly beneath your outstretched hands. The perfect combination of cupcake and icing, the kind where you can't quite identify all the secret ingredients, but you feel them melting together on your tongue, and you know that for as long you live, this will be the best thing you've ever tasted. — Sarah Ockler

A dragon just gave me a piece of jewelry," she said. She took another swig and handed the bottle back to Graydon. "Have I been added to his hoard?"
He shook his head and drank too. "No, cupcake," he said. "I'm pretty sure you've replaced it. — Thea Harrison

Ronan and I have always had a fucked up way of going about things. The first time he fucked me, it was next to my dead boyfriend's body. The first blowjob, in a basement he uses to kill people. He isn't at all sweet. But if I wanted sugar, I'd eat a fucking cupcake. — A. Zavarelli

Let Them Eat My A** Like A Cupcake — Nicki Minaj

I've never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn't fix. — Sarah Ockler

What does she even eat, do you think?"
"Tea fungus,"Ruth says. "Unsweetened. From an eye dropper. Is what I picture. either that or some sort of sea vegetable."
"Sad," I say.
"It is," Ruth muses.
We decide to order two skim milk cappuccinos and split a gluten-free carrot cake cupcake. — Mona Awad

Dear God, that man has a magnificent body.' ... 'It's like having a cupcake thrust in front of your face and not being allowed to have a lick of the icing. — J.L. McCoy

The lesson here is that a giant cupcake tattoo is typically an indication of two things: (1) Sister go her hands on some crystal meth, and (2) Sister smoked that crystal meth and kept smoking it until she had been awake for seven days and then stumbled into a tattoo parlor with a really bad idea that she had quickly sketched on a napkin from Carl's Jr. — Laurie Notaro

It's my turn to feed him," Gray says without looking up. "So bottled breast
milk it is. He hates it. I know, little dude," he says to the baby. "I love Mommy's
boobs too, but she needs to sleep."
From the far room, a muffled groan rings out. "Mother guilt has killed my
sleep," says Ivy's disembodied voice. "And don't discuss my boobs with my son,
Cupcake. — Kristen Callihan

You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right?"
"Meant every word." A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, "Baby."
No.
He laughed. "You should see your face right now."
"Don't call me that."
"Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'?" He winked. — Ilona Andrews

Frank stared at her. "But you throw Ding Dongs at monsters."
Iris looked horrified. "Oh, they're not Ding Dongs."
She rummaged under the counter and brought out a package of chocolate covered cakes that looked exactly like Ding Dongs.
"These are gluten-free, no-sugar-added, vitamin-enriched, soy-free, goat-milk-and-seaweed-based cupcake simulations."
"All natural!" Fleecy chimed in.
"I stand corrected." Frank suddenly felt as queasy as Percy. — Rick Riordan

She talked about wanting to be a part of something, wanting to be desired, to be 'special', craving to be loved. She talked about experiencing the kind of loneliness so immense it could swallow you up. She called it 'loneliness that crowds couldn't cure'. — Cupcake Brown

It's hard not to smile when you're going eyeball to eyeball with a frosted chocolate cupcake. — Shannon Wiersbitzky

The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights) — Elaine Kagan

Some breakfast cereals only come into their own as children's party treats: what are cornflakes and Coco Pops for, if not to clump together with melted chocolate and spoon into a cupcake holder? — Yotam Ottolenghi

Life is biting into a cupcake and finding an eyeball at its center. — Alexandra Sirowy

A cupcake is like a great pop song. The whole world in less than three minutes. And it's impossible to have a bad cupcake. In New York you walk everywhere. So I'm always looking, always on the eternal search for the perfect cupcake. I take them very seriously. It's like hunting and gathering for me. — Laurel Nakadate

People I had never seen before flocked in, their faces showing a longing you never saw for cake. People's eyes lit up for a cupcake, cake seemed to signal celebration. But their eyes got filmy, watery, misty when we handed them a slice of pie. Pie was memory. Nostalgia. Pie made people recall simpler, maybe happier times. — Judith Fertig

We do have a love fest [at home]. It's like, 'I'm making you a cupcake.' Then it's like, 'Well, I made you a cake.' And it's like, 'Well I made you a cake with a cupcake on top and candles.' — Dianna Agron

A cupcake is just a muffin with clown puke topping. And once you've got through the clown puke there's nothing but a fistful of quotidian sponge nestling in a depressing, soggy 'cup' that feels like a pair of paper knickers a fat man has been sitting in throughout a long, hot coach journey between two disappointing market towns. — Charlie Brooker

A cupcake temple?' Her chest still tight with anxiety, Bertie forced herself to imagine it: bricks of pound cake mortared with buttercream and chocolate ganache, torches like striped birthday candles set into the walls, pilgrims upon the Path of Delectable Righteousness delivering daily tributes of almond paste and raspberry filling ... — Lisa Mantchev

In our confusion, we're accustomed to according the titles of good news and "a positive message" to the most soul-sucking, sentimental fare imaginable. Any song or story that deals with conflict by way of a strained euphemistic spin, a cliche, or a triumphal cupcake ending strikes us as the best in family entertainment. This is the opposite of apocalyptic. Apocalyptic maximizes the reality of human suffering and folly before daring a word of hope. The hope has nowhere else to happen but the valley of the shadow of death. — David Dark

Picture this broad: 22 going on 18. Half the guys in my class would have given their left testicle to date her. This cupcake is the guidance counselor the principal has assigned me. Miss Boyle is her name. We all call her "Miss Bubbly Water." Imagine the teasing I have to endure from my friends. Not to mention what it's like, sitting across from this Barbie Doll every Thursday afternoon, watching her cross and uncross her legs, while she's lecturing me about - get this: "staying focused." Right! My pants are on fire, and she's handing me a crash course in Psych 101! — Ted Gargiulo

I was coming down off the last painkiller left in my dresser drawer after Autumn tossed my stash. In that moment I was so groggy and happy I would have accepted a date with Oscar the Grouch - and planned to do some serious feeling up on the green furry beast too. Yeah, stooping to pharmaceutical-inspired sex fantasies about garbage can Sesame Street characters - that had to be the best Just Say No drug lecture a girl in a leg cast could ever receive to make her go cold turkey off the meds. — Rachel Cohn

Over the previous few weeks, I'd finally perfected the Julia St. Clair wedding cupcake: classic lemon cake with a hidden heart of my mom's boldly flavoured passion fruit filling, slathered high with Julia's favorite vanilla buttercream icing and glammed up a bit with sparkling curls of candied lemon rind. — Meg Donohue

When he raises a brow in surprise, I give him a look that must be bordering on feral. "I'm craving a heaping bucket of crispy fried chicken with a side of biscuits like you wouldn't believe." "And she eats," he says to the car. "A girl after my own heart." "Just drive, Cupcake." "Easy now, Special Sauce, I'll get you your chicken. — Anonymous

...the Cupcake Nation mentality - "Everyone's a winner!" - is so dangerous. When we try to protect the young from any vaguely uncomfortable ideas or encounters, we do them a grave disservice. Being tested by different viewpoints in my life, being sometimes offended or occasionally hurt, or even targeted, is a big part of what prepared me for the challenged I've faced in my career.., — Megyn Kelly

Another blond boy came tearing from the opposite direction. "Can't find Smith. But I see you found my cupcake."

"Mine," Cole snapped. Uh, was the cupcake supposed to be me? Because it was a weird nickname for a supposed enemy. — Gena Showalter

I totally let myself indulge, but I make little deals with myself. If I have an extra cupcake, I'll run a couple of extra miles. I think it's all about balance and not getting into extremes with dieting and exercising. Having a healthy attitude is important, too! — Megan Hilty

I'll never turn down a red velvet cupcake. — Shay Mitchell

Mom asked for a cupcake miracle? Well, here comes the freaking holy angel of icing, at your service.
Hudson
Angel icing? That's the craziest, corniest, most whack-ass stuff I've heard in my life — Sarah Ockler

I'd learned not to put a question mark where God put a period. — Cupcake Brown

Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts."
I looked over at him.
All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now."
Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic. — Janet Evanovich

I wish I could have a cupcake, — Lois Lowry

You're such a cupcake. — Janet Evanovich

I am not a fan of the cupcake image. This idea that you can distract a girl with something frivolous like a cake or shoes or handbags, and she won't be a threat to men. — Joanna Trollope

Then why have you been talking about her for the past half hour straight?" His friend glanced over at him, a cheeky grin on his face, and the rockstar glared exaggeratedly.
"I have not."
"You definitely have. I missed an entire episode of Cupcake Wars because you've got a crush. — Andrea D. Smith

I definitely gravitate towards things like vegetables, chicken, brown rice, but I don't deprive myself of anything. If I want a Sprinkles cupcake, I'm having a Sprinkles cupcake. But I'm not going to have one every day ... you just have to have a sensible outlook on all of it. — Abigail Spencer

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani fired his wife, Donna Hanover, as official hostess of the mayor's mansion last weekend. He's got his own idea of what a hostess should be. He wants a little cupcake. — Argus Hamilton

You better hope she doesn't say a word," Gabe warned, lifting a finger to Uri's nose.
Uri grabbed the finger laughing, "What are you going to do, cupcake? Seduce me to death, in all your sexy glory?"
"Just shut up," Gabe groaned, pushing the door shut in his friend's face. — Wendy Owens

You've gotta be very careful that grace and politeness do not merge into a banality of behavior, where we're just nice, sort of 'death by cupcake.' — Bono

It's a scientific fact that there are only a handful of jobs you're allowed to have if you're one of the leads in a romantic comedy: dog walker, architect, kindergarten teacher, cupcake chef, florist, special needs veterinarian, suspiciously well-paid magazine writer, and independent bookstore owner. So it stands to reason that the likelihood of meeting your soul mate in one is high. — Una LaMarche

When you look at a cupcake, you've got to smile. — Anne Byrn

Mandy's description of "yummy" was so very incorrect. A cupcake was yummy. — Katie Reus

This was like discovering your vanilla cupcake had a chocolate fudge center. — Genevieve Dewey

I let that swim around in my aching head for a few minutes - "the arsenal of megadeath ... the arsenal of megadeath" - and then, for some reason I can't quite explain, I began to write. Using a borrowed pencil and a cupcake wrapper, I wrote the first lyrics of my post-Metallica life. This song was called "Megadeth" (I dropped the second "a"), and though it would never find its way onto an album, it did serve as the basis for the song "Set the World Afire." It hadn't occured to me then that Megadeth-as used by Senator Cranston, megadeath referred to the loss of one million lives as a result of nuclear holocaust-might be a perfectly awesome name for a thrash metal band. — Dave Mustaine

My grandmother say you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas. A hard head makes a soft behind. Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you're going to get. — Cupcake Brown

Hey, heads up. The hottest doctor in town just came by and coerced me into telling him where you were. I folded like a cheap suitcase. Sorry, but he's hard to say no to. Don't be mad. I owe you a cupcake. — Jill Shalvis

I've always had a passion for life and I think that translated into a bit of overindulgence. What can I say? I've never met a cupcake I didn't like. — Jasinda Wilder

Travel magazines are just one cupcake after another. They're not about travel. The travel magazine is, in fact, about the opposite of travel. It's about having a nice time on a honeymoon, or whatever. — Paul Theroux