Christopher Titus Quotes

My Dad Also Survived Five Divorces, And The Women He Married Cleaned His Ass Out Every Time. I Used To Think My Dad Got Divorced Because He Wanted New Furniture. At One Point In My Life, All We Had Left Was A Wooden Box, A 12 Black-and-white TV, And A Four-man Rubber Raft For A Couch. And Yet, I Was The Coolest Kid In Third Grade. Mom, Can We Have A Sleepover In Christopher Titus' House? They Have A Raft In The Living Room! We Can Row To Breakfast In The Morning. I Can Actually Be Captain Crunch!

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