Jen Kirkman Quotes

I Have A Stand-up Routine I Do About Masturbation And The Unwanted Thoughts That Go Through Women's Heads When They Put Their Hands Under Their Sheets. I Need A Story To Think About. I Need A Fantasy That Makes Sense. I Can't Just Finger Myself And Picture Johnny Depp's Face. It Needs A Sense Of Realism, Like How Did I Meet Johnny Depp? He Lives In France. I Don't Have A Work Visa. Besides, He Has Children And I've Made It Quite Clear That I Don't Want To Be A Mom And I Don't Want To Be Stepmom Either.

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