Valerie Z. Lewis Quotes & Sayings

Stephen is my boyfriend," Doug said. "We're gay together."
"I'm also gay when we're apart," Stephen added. — Valerie Z. Lewis

Carpe Rectum. Seize the hot ass the good Lord has provided. — Valerie Z. Lewis

I also decided I want to have a meaningful relationship. But only with one person. And then stay with that person for a long time. Like, uh, monography."
Stephen types a few keys in a quick rhythm. "It's shame your epiphany wasn't accompanied by a thesaurus. — Valerie Z. Lewis

And this song," Doug said as the CD advanced to the next track, "Makes me think about how Stephen's love completes my soul." Rapid-fire drumming led into lyrics describing the satisfaction one felt when pointing a Glock at a filthy puta. — Valerie Z. Lewis

See, I thought gay sex would be all different and weird, but it was just like having sex with a woman, except way hotter. I guess you can't believe stuff you see on the Internet, because you know, the hot gay sex I had last night was totally awesome, and nobody like, put their entire hand in my butt."
Doug stood and walked over to Stephen, who was shoving a bagel into a Ziploc bag. "Anyway, hold on, here he is," Doug said into the phone, and then held it out towards him. "It's your mom. — Valerie Z. Lewis