Tucker Carlson Quotes & Sayings

If it was up to the U.N., Saddam Hussein would still be killing his own people. — Tucker Carlson

In the absence of evidence, superstition. It's a Middle Ages thing. That's my theory anyway. — Tucker Carlson

That great philosopher anonymous once said, never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. — Tucker Carlson

Dogs are intelligent beings; they are not human beings. The life of a dog - there's no equivalency with the life of a person, and if you are putting a dog in the line of danger to save human life, and they can do the job reasonably well, I mean, seriously, what about dignity and self-respect?I feel like going out to dinner, I think I will have my cocker spaniel host the show tonight. — Tucker Carlson

Grover Norquist is a mean-spirited, humorless, dishonest little creep ... an embarrassing anomaly, the leering, drunken uncle everyone else wishes would stay home ... [He] is repulsive, granted, but there aren't nearly enough of him to start a purge trial. — Tucker Carlson

Nobody, at least sitting in my seat , is defending drunk driving. I am not for drunk driving. — Tucker Carlson

The war on Christmas. This is the most ridiculous right wing talking point I have ever lived through.The idea is that liberals want to get rid of Christmas. — Tucker Carlson

I am really only interested in new information, not freelance opinion. I don't really care what you think off the top of your head. — Tucker Carlson

Bush's America. I wish we had more time. I didn't even vote for him the second time, and I feel like I got to defend him. — Tucker Carlson

If things do get better in Iraq, I'm saying as someone who thinks the war was a mistake. I'm saying that is cause for us all to have a huge party. It's a big deal if things get better. Because if they don't get better, our country is going to be hurt for generations. — Tucker Carlson

Living in Washington, you can't take politics too seriously. I draw the line at honesty. I have no time for political hacks who say things they don't believe because they get paid to. — Tucker Carlson

The Clinton era is over. I think that there would even have been a certain amount of rejoicing among some Republicans if Gore had won or if Ralph Nader had won or if Satan had won. — Tucker Carlson

Canadians are so easily wounded. — Tucker Carlson

I don't think all people yearn for freedom, actually. I think they yearn for stability. — Tucker Carlson

Studies have shown people listen to TV than watch it. — Tucker Carlson

The one thing I'm convinced George W. Bush is good at is bipartisanship. It's clearly something he enjoys personally. — Tucker Carlson

I very much like "Canada, the adults are talking" stance. — Tucker Carlson

The disgraceful and shameful construction of walls, the increasing enforcement of security systems and increasing violation of human rights and labor rights will not protect the economy of the United States. — Tucker Carlson

Television and the way we watch is going to change dramatically in the next year. — Tucker Carlson

I will say, the one thing Mexico does well is punish prisoners. They do. They're good at that. — Tucker Carlson

Canada, by others in the global family, is, for some reason, taken seriously. They have about 30 million people. They have some natural resources. — Tucker Carlson

The best thing about television news is, it's immediate. Everything at a news network happens quickly. — Tucker Carlson

Unless you know a lot more about something than I do, I am not really that interested. I have too much information already. — Tucker Carlson

I'm in the business of value judgments . — Tucker Carlson

I mean, look, no matter how you feel about Bush, watching him speak is difficult. It's like- it's like watching a drunk man cross an icy street. — Tucker Carlson

I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back. — Tucker Carlson

Feminism's latest victory: the right to get your limbs blown off in war. Congratulations. — Tucker Carlson

To politicize a man's tragic death is about as low as you can go, isn't it? — Tucker Carlson

There are legitimate, even powerful arguments, to be made against the Bush administration's foreign policy. But those arguments are complicated, hard to explain, and, in the end, not all that sensational. — Tucker Carlson

I try to tell the truth. — Tucker Carlson

I'm for moral blackmail when it comes to putting away child molesters. — Tucker Carlson

I am not insecure about being a journalist. — Tucker Carlson

Canadians are always asking the questions the rest of us are afraid to ask. — Tucker Carlson

Life is short. You die before you think you're going to. Don't waste it in college unless you're doing something real. My view. — Tucker Carlson

Yes, older drivers are more likely to injure themselves and others when they get behind the wheel. But if you take that away, that is really the last lifeline a lot of elderly people have. — Tucker Carlson

This is a major step forward in achieving our objective, which is an ally having a democratic Iraq, a country able to sustain itself and defend itself, a country that will be an ally in the war on terror and a country which will set such a powerful example to others in the region. — Tucker Carlson

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class. — Tucker Carlson

I think Canadians, they may be offended that I pointed out that they're stalking us. But at least we're paying attention. — Tucker Carlson

I'm a small government conservative. — Tucker Carlson

I don't care what anybody thinks. — Tucker Carlson

I think I always stand up for what I believe in. — Tucker Carlson

I think [Pat] Buchanan is far too easily and glibly dismissed. — Tucker Carlson

Canada thinks we're married; we don't know it exists. Every time we tell Canada to knock it off, it just feeds the fire. — Tucker Carlson

So that all the people who say, you know, "All the media hates America." A lot of the media does hate America but this is a case of, actually, the press doing its best, I think, to do the right by national security. So good for them. — Tucker Carlson

Republicans can't run for office without the support of business. — Tucker Carlson

Anybody who sides with Canada internationally in a debate between the U.S. and Canada, say, Belgium, is somebody whose opinion we shouldn't care about in the first place. — Tucker Carlson

I'm not for cutting off hands but I'm more for cutting off hands than I am for molesting children, if that's what it takes to stop it. I think that's fair. — Tucker Carlson

The modern tribalism of the left demands that each person choose a group and then agree with everything that group agrees with. And anybody who leaves that group is stoned to death. — Tucker Carlson

I'm a foot soldier in the war on Christmas. And the war on puppies and sunshine. — Tucker Carlson

Every single comedian in Canada is now living in the United States. — Tucker Carlson

Politicians are interesting people, most of them are smart and hard-working-I mean, they keep schedules no one else would think of keeping. Some of them live down to the caricature, but most of them are good people and they are charming. — Tucker Carlson

To be a feminist, you could cut your hair really short. You have to be really angry about something. — Tucker Carlson

Ron Karenga wrote a book back in 1968, and in that book, he said that the reason, part of his motivation for starting Kwanzaa was because he felt that Christianity was the white man religion, and he didn't like Jews, and so he made up this lie. And he called it an African holiday because he was concerned that if he didn't call it an African holiday, that black Americans would not participate in it. — Tucker Carlson

As a print journalist, you can be frustrated by people who don't call you back, parts of the story you can't get. TV gets you access to everyone because people call you back. It also allows you to satisfy your curiosity. I am a very curious person. — Tucker Carlson

I can't wait to work for Rick Kaplan. He's a great producer. I would host an infomercial if he would produce it. — Tucker Carlson

Christianity isn't dead. It still has the capacity to scare people. It still gives people the creeps, which means there is still some power behind the religion, as sort of watered down as it can be. — Tucker Carlson

It is increasingly important to be open-minded. — Tucker Carlson

The two things I was positive about in life were that I was going to be a teacher at a boarding school or an operative with the CIA posted abroad. I could write a book about all the things I was sure about. — Tucker Carlson

Antiwar protestors actually sabotaged and caused a huge amount of damage to military installations and military property during the war. I'm related to someone who caused some of that damage. I mean, it was real. I mean, there was a reason. I'm not defending it, but I'm saying it was not because they didn't like the politics of the protesters. The protesters were violent in a lot of cases. — Tucker Carlson

All of a sudden, people are going to decide they want to go micro, everything's smaller. — Tucker Carlson

American officials have bent over backwards to show how sensitive they are to Muslim culture. It didn't seem very effective. They seem to be worried about winning the respect of other people. — Tucker Carlson

To call me a partisan hack is ludicrous. I am the least partisan person I know. — Tucker Carlson

Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting. — Tucker Carlson

Rich people making their houses bigger in order to make their lives happier wind up hurting their own marriages. There's a deep irony here. Do the couples perceive that irony? — Tucker Carlson

It's almost impossible to make the case that Bush is a conservative. That may be good; that may be bad. — Tucker Carlson

I'm not for drunk driving - however, the states ought to decide. Different states have different penalties for drunk driving because they're states and they get to do that. If people of one state want to be lighter on drunk drivers, they're wrong. That's their business. — Tucker Carlson

I think Michael Moore is loathsome, though, not because he dislikes Bush, but because he seems to dislike America. — Tucker Carlson

Who laughs less than feminists? — Tucker Carlson

But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should've been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs? — Tucker Carlson

It's hard to be ambitious if you're content, isn't it? — Tucker Carlson

Is calling English our national language racist? Are we at that point? — Tucker Carlson

Anybody with any ambition at all, or intelligence, has left Canada and is now living in New York. — Tucker Carlson

I was very disappointed, very disappointed when President [George W.] Bush proclaimed Kwanzaa as a national holiday. Prior to that, Bill Clinton did the same thing. — Tucker Carlson

The Republican Party of 2005 bears no resemblance to the Republican Party of 1994. — Tucker Carlson

Why is this generation looking to aging icons like John Lennon and Bob Dylan for inspiration? Why not raising up their own icons? — Tucker Carlson

Bill Clinton is a liar, a perverted kind of a guy anyway, and he is always stroking black folks rather than telling them the truth. — Tucker Carlson

Honestly, a lot of liberals are foot soldiers in the war on Christmas. — Tucker Carlson

Everybody knows that only creeps put cameras in the bathroom. — Tucker Carlson

I'm such a sap for democracy and politics that I get weepy when I see anybody voting. — Tucker Carlson

I trust the federal government not to trample on civil liberties. — Tucker Carlson

We're a very religious country; the government's secular. — Tucker Carlson

I have never been one to look beyond today. — Tucker Carlson

We have the - the longest, friendliest border, you know, for the - for the longest time in the history - in recorded history, really, with Canada. And they get to sit on their moral perch, you know, take the moral high ground, say, oh, United States, shame on you about Iraq. They make us look bad internationally. And it's really not fair. — Tucker Carlson

England, Australia, Israel, a few staunch, important allies internationally. But we have lost a lot of international support. — Tucker Carlson

Europeans take their soccer pretty seriously. So, when this Turkish TV host had the nerve to criticize the local team, the fans decided to do something about it, something like storm the TV studio during a live show. — Tucker Carlson

Canada has little pictures of us in its bedroom, right? Canada spends all of its time thinking about the United States, obsessing over the United States. It's unrequited love between Canada and the United States. — Tucker Carlson

Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That is Canada. — Tucker Carlson

It is nice to be around people who think differently than you. They challenge your ideas and keep you from being complacent. — Tucker Carlson

Angelina Jolie seems like she cries a lot, which puts me off. — Tucker Carlson