Sydney J. Harris Quotes & Sayings

People decline invitations when they are "indisposed" physically, and I wish they would do likewise when they feel indisposed emotionally. A person has no more right to attend a party with a head full of venom than with a throat full of virus. — Sydney J. Harris

A 'penchant for telling the truth' can cripple a candidates chances faster than being caught in flagrante delicto with the governor's wife. — Sydney J. Harris

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case."
— Sydney J. Harris

When a man says "I know what I mean, but I can't express it," he generally does not know what he means - for there can be no knowledge without words; there can only be feelings. — Sydney J. Harris

Regret for things we have done can be tempered by time, it is regret for things we have not done that is inconsolable. — Sydney J. Harris

Ninety per cent of the world's woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves
so how can we know anyone else? — Sydney J. Harris

Genuine contentment is found in performing tasks that take us out of ourselves, for a purpose greater than ourselves. Only when the personality is subordinated to a higher goal do we attain the serenity we are looking for. — Sydney J. Harris

It may be true that the weak will always be driven to the wall; but it is the task of a just society to see that the wall is climbable. — Sydney J. Harris

The beauty of "spacing" children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones. — Sydney J. Harris

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a realist he is preparing to do something that he is secretly ashamed of doing. — Sydney J. Harris

Nothing is as easy to make as a promise this winter to do something next summer; this is how commencement speakers are caught. — Sydney J. Harris

And the end of this paradox is that only when the child is thus free can he have the proper attachment to his parents; only when we allow his independence can he then freely offer us love and respect, without conflict and without resentment. It is the hardest lesson to learn that the goal of parenthood is not to reign forever but to abdicate gracefully at the right time. — Sydney J. Harris

Regret for the things we have done will be tempered by time. It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. — Sydney J. Harris

We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice - that is, until we have stopped saying "It got lost," and say, "I lost it. — Sydney J. Harris

Just as communism always begins with an appeal to "humanity" and equality" and ends with inhuman despotism, so does fascism always begin with an appeal to "nationalism" and "individualism," and ends with a military collectivism far worse than the disease it purports to cure. — Sydney J. Harris

Many people know how to work hard; many others know how to play well; but the rarest talent in the world is the ability to introduce elements of playfulness into work, and to put some constructive labor into our leisure. — Sydney J. Harris

When we have 'second thoughts' about something, our first thoughts don't seem like thoughts at all - just feelings. — Sydney J. Harris

Almost every man looks more so in a belted trench coat. — Sydney J. Harris

Many marriages falter, it seems to me, not because the couples are out of love, but because they have never been friends as much as lovers. They may love each other, in a vaporously romantic way, but they do not really like each other as individual personalities. — Sydney J. Harris

Much as a teacher may wince at the thought, he is also an entertainer - for unless he can hold his audience, he cannot really instruct or edify them. — Sydney J. Harris

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there. — Sydney J. Harris

Achieving the good life is more a matter of being than of doing or giving. It calls for intense self-scrutiny, a relentless honesty about one's motives, and a persistent feeling that we are no better - and perhaps worse - than those we are trying to help. — Sydney J. Harris

We must become masters of our own actions and attitudes. To let another person determine whether we will be rude or gracious, elated or depressed is to give control of ourselves. The only true possession is self possession. — Sydney J. Harris

There is no such thing as an "atrocity" in warfare that is greater than the atrocity of warfare itself. — Sydney J. Harris

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway — Sydney J. Harris

The only way to avoid trouble is to avoid living. — Sydney J. Harris

Intolerance is the most socially acceptable form of egotism, for it permits us to assume superiority without personal boasting. — Sydney J. Harris

A person is either himself or not himself; is either rooted in his existence or is a fabrication; has either found his humanhood or is still playing with masks and roles and status symbols. And nobody is more aware of this difference (although unconsciously) than a child. Only an authentic person can evoke a good response in the core of the other person; only person is resonant to person. — Sydney J. Harris

More trouble is caused in this world by indiscreet answers than by indiscreet questions. — Sydney J. Harris

Why are we willing to accept a new mathematical formula we don't understand as the product of a brilliant mind, while rejecting a new art form we don't understand as the product of a deranged mind? — Sydney J. Harris

A university is not, primarily, a place in which to learn how to make a living; it is a place in which to learn how to be more fully a human being, how to draw upon one's resources, how to discipline the mind and expand the imagination; how to make some sense out of the big world we will shortly be thrown into. — Sydney J. Harris

Like all persecuted minority groups, they strike back by forming cabals, by "taking over" certain spheres of activity (in the arts, for instance), and by purposely provocative behavior. — Sydney J. Harris

What we are looking for, I am afraid, is neither a true leader nor a true Messiah, but a false Messiah - a man who will give us over-simplified answers, who will justify our ways, who will castigate our enemies, who will vindicate our selfishness as a way of life and make us comfortable within our prejudices and preconceptions. — Sydney J. Harris

Filth is always a sign of weakness - in the mouth of the user and in the mind of the writer. — Sydney J. Harris

A child owes respect to a parent, but there is no natural obligation to like a parent - unless the parent makes himself likable as a person. — Sydney J. Harris

Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in. — Sydney J. Harris

Between the semi-educated, who offer simplistic answers to complex questions, and the overeducated, who offer complicated answers to simple questions, it is a wonder that any questions get satisfactorily answered at all. — Sydney J. Harris

The difference between faith and superstition is that the first uses reason to go as far as it can, and then makes the jump; the second shuns reason entirely - which is why superstition is not the ally, but the enemy, of true religion. — Sydney J. Harris

If you treat someone under your control like a dolt, he will react like a dolt; treat him like an animal, and he will respond like an animal; treat him as an object of contempt, and he will become filled with a self-contempt that must sooner or later erupt in rage, hate and violence. — Sydney J. Harris

When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what? — Sydney J. Harris

The French may be straining the truth in their famous saying that "to understand all is to forgive all"," but it is certainly true that the more we know of any given person, the harder it becomes to hate him. — Sydney J. Harris

A loser says that's the way it's always been done. A winner says there ought to be a better way. — Sydney J. Harris

The commonest fallacy among women is that simply having children makes them a mother - which is as absurd as believing that having a piano makes one a musician. — Sydney J. Harris

Confidence, once lost or betrayed, can never be restored again to the same measure; and we learn too late in life that our acts of deception are irrevocable - they may be forgiven, but they cannot be forgotten by their victims. — Sydney J. Harris

Patriotism is proud of a country's virtues and eager to correct its deficiencies; it also acknowledges the legitimate patriotism of other countries, with their own specific virtues. The pride of nationalism, however, trumpets its country's virtues and denies its deficiencies, while it is contemptuous toward the virtues of other countries. It wants to be, and proclaims itself to be, "the greatest", but greatness is not required of a country; only goodness is. — Sydney J. Harris

Time is love, above all else. It is the most precious commodity in the world and should be lavished on those we care most about. — Sydney J. Harris

It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. — Sydney J. Harris

The greatest enemy of progress is not stagnation, but false progress. — Sydney J. Harris

By the time a man asks you for advice, he has generally made up his mind what he wants to do, and is looking for confirmation rather than counseling. — Sydney J. Harris

Why do most Americans look up to education and down upon educated people? — Sydney J. Harris

Norbert Blei is a writer the way people used to be troubadours and minstrels, celebrating what he has seen and heart and felt in a deceptively simple style reminiscent of the early Sherwood Anderson ... Like Anderson, he is a lover, and his affection invests his writing with a singular charm. — Sydney J. Harris

Genuine love for a child, it seems to me, must include a desire for his maturity and ultimately his independence. WAtching a personality unfold is perhaps the deepest pleasure of parenthood; wishing, or trying, to retard this growth is one of the deepest sins. — Sydney J. Harris

The founder of every creed from Jesus Christ to Karl Marx, would be appalled to return to earth and see what has been made of that creed, not by its enemies, but by its most devoted adherents. — Sydney J. Harris

The length of sentences depends upon the criminal's wealth and type of legal help more than upon the seriousness of his transgression. Court procedures are slow and cumbersome. It is the poor and stupid criminal who gets the heaviest sentences - so the aim of criminals is to become rich and cunning, and thus avoid the harshest penalties. — Sydney J. Harris

Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own. — Sydney J. Harris

The public examination of homosexuality in our contemporary life is still so coated with distasteful moral connotations that even a reviewer is bound to wonder uneasily why he was selected to evaluate a book on the subject, and to assert defensively at the outset that he is happily married, the father of four children and the one-time adornment of his college boxing, track and tennis teams. — Sydney J. Harris

When we inform, we lead from strength; when we communicate, we lead from weakness - and it is precisely this confession of mortality that engages the ears, heads and hearts of those we want to enlist as allies in a common cause. — Sydney J. Harris

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. — Sydney J. Harris

Those who imagine that the world is against them have generally conspired to make it true. — Sydney J. Harris

If the devil could be persuaded to write a bible, he would title it, "You Only Live Once." — Sydney J. Harris

...when the createdness of the other person is not viewed as necessary as our own - then there is no reason (beyond expediency) to treat the other as a person. All injustice and cruelty come, basically, from this distorted view of reality. — Sydney J. Harris

Experience can be a very bad teacher, indeed, or not teacher at all. It is like the silly phrase, "Practice makes perfect." In most cases, practice merely confirms us in our errors, and the longer we do something the wrong way - that is, without enlightenment and instruction- the more fixed we become in our folly. — Sydney J. Harris

The principal difference between love and hate is that love is an irradiation, and hate is a concentration. Love makes everything lovely; hate concentrates itself on the object of its hatred. All the fearful counterfeits of love - possessiveness, lust, vanity, jealousy - are closer to hate: they concentrate on the object, guard it, suck it dry. — Sydney J. Harris

Those obsessed with health are not healthy; the first requisite of good health is a certain calculated carelessness about oneself. — Sydney J. Harris

Sometimes the best, and only effective, way to kill an idea is to put it into practice. — Sydney J. Harris

Any creed whose basic doctrines do not include respect for the creeds of others, is simply power politics masquerading as philosophy. — Sydney J. Harris

Ignorance per se is not nearly as dangerous as ignorance of ignorance. — Sydney J. Harris

The lusts of the flesh can be gratified anywhere; it is not this sort of license that distinguishes New York. It is rather, a lust of the total ego for recognition, even for eminence. More than elsewhere, everybody here wants to be somebody. — Sydney J. Harris

A famously wise old man in a village was once asked how he came by his wisdom. "I got it from my good judgment," he answered. And where did his good judgment come from? "I got it from my bad judgment." — Sydney J. Harris

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size? — Sydney J. Harris

Somebody who never got over the embarrassing fact that he was born in bed with a lady. — Sydney J. Harris

The world has always been betrayed by decent men with bad ideals. — Sydney J. Harris

Parents - and teachers too - are woefully short-sighted when they try to protect the child from his mistakes, when they make the "right answer" more important than the quest for knowledge and good judgment. For what is not learned within one's self cannot be learned from another. — Sydney J. Harris

Ancient boundaries are meaningless, except for political purposes; old divisions of clan and tribe are sentimental remnants of the pre-atomic age; neither creed nor color nor place of origin is relevant to the realities of modern power to utterly seek and destroy. — Sydney J. Harris

The personality of man is not an apple that has to be polished, but a banana that has to be peeled. And the reason we remain so far from one another, the reason we neither communicate nor interact in any real way, is that most of us spend our lives in polishing rather than peeling... Almost everything in modern life is devoted to the polishing process, and little to the peeling process. It is the surface personality that we work on - the appearance, the clothes, the manners, the geniality. In short, the salesmanship: We are selling the package, not the product. — Sydney J. Harris

There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough U.S. congressmen. — Sydney J. Harris

Real loneliness consists not in being alone, but in being with the wrong person, in the suffocating darkness of a room in which no deep communication is possible. — Sydney J. Harris

What is much harder to handle is the sense that you have to live up to the mark someone else has set for you. The grades become too important, the competition too frantic, the fear of disappointing those who believe in you turns into an overwhelming nightmare. And it is desperately unfair to the boy. He cannot live his parents' life over again for them. He cannot make up for their own lacks, their own unfulfillments. He cannot carry their torch
only his own. — Sydney J. Harris

And marriage, generally, requires an exquisite sense of timing. As a single person, time is relative to one's needs and demands; as a married partner, time is a joint venture - the husband may be an hour late getting home, while dinner grows cold; the wife may be an hour late dressing for a party, while her mate grows hot under the collar. Time does not belong to us alone; we share it with those we love, those we work for, those we play with. It is an elastic concept: we must, as we grow older, be willing to be bored for someone else's sake. And it can be as fatal to be stingy with our time as with our money. — Sydney J. Harris

Good teaching must be slow enough so that it is not confusing, and fast enough so that it is not boring. — Sydney J. Harris

Honesty consists of the unwillingness to lie to others; maturity, which is equally hard to attain, consists of the unwillingness to lie to oneself. — Sydney J. Harris

We must also learn that time itself is indivisible, that every act is a blending of past experience, present situation and future expectancy. — Sydney J. Harris

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. — Sydney J. Harris

The reason that truth is stranger than fiction is that fiction has to have a rational thread running through it in order to be believable, whereas reality may be totally irrational. — Sydney J. Harris

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to reamin the same but get better ... — Sydney J. Harris

We believe what we want to believe, what we like to believe, what suits our prejudices and fuels our passions. — Sydney J. Harris

Skepticism is not an end in itself; it is a tool for the discovery of truths. — Sydney J. Harris

The whole world is a gigantic legacy. Imagine having to start afresh each generation: who would invent the wheel, devise the lever, construct the alphabet and multiplication table? I could not; could you? — Sydney J. Harris

Nice things are done for our own sake, not for the sake of others. The pleasure must reside in the performance, not in the applause. Good deeds are, in a deeper psychological way, a favor to oneself. If this is not grasped, then our whole sense of personal relationships becomes warped. — Sydney J. Harris

The best thing you can give children, next to good habits, are good memories. — Sydney J. Harris

Success is just a little more effort. — Sydney J. Harris

The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place in which to spend one's leisure. — Sydney J. Harris

I am convinced that an immense number of people who have children should not have them, and do not particularly want them, except as "symbols" of family life. What they want are ideal children, not real ones; and as soon as the real ones show no intention of conforming to the ideal in the parent's mind, they are treated as burdens, shipped away to school or otherwise neglected. — Sydney J. Harris

When you run into someone who is disagreeable to others, you may be sure he is uncomfortable with himself; the amount of pain we inflict upon others is directly proportional to the amount we feel within us. — Sydney J. Harris

People who won't help others in trouble "because they got into trouble through their own fault" would probably not throw a lifeline to a drowning person until they learned whether that person fell in through his or her own fault or not. — Sydney J. Harris

The greatest educational dogma is also its greatest fallacy: the belief that what must be learned can necessarily be taught. — Sydney J. Harris

Many people feel "guilty" about things they shouldn't feel guilty about, in order to shut out feelings of guilt about things they should feel guilty about. — Sydney J. Harris

Self-discipline without talent can often achieve astounding results, whereas talent without self-discipline inevitably dooms itself to failure. — Sydney J. Harris

When a man's position in life depends upon his having a certain opinion, that's the opinion he will have. — Sydney J. Harris

Marriages we regard as the happiest are those in which each of the partners believes he or she got the best of it. — Sydney J. Harris