Susan Elizabeth Phillips Quotes & Sayings

Thanks to April," she whispered, "you have the wedding you've dreamed about ever since you were a little girl."
Dean's boom of laughter was one more reason she loved this man with all her heart. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She smiled, lifted her arm, and tugged on a couple of his pain-in-the-ass curls, her expression tender enough to bring him back to cold reality. He was an ex-cop. She was the president's daughter. He was scrap metal. She was pure gold. Beyond all that, he had a dead zone a mile wide inside him, while she bubbled with life. "Lucy ... "
"Oh lord ... " She rolled her eyes and flopped to her back. "Here we go. The speech." She deepened her voice in exaggerated imitation of him. "Before this goes any further, Lucy, I need to make sure you don't get the wrong idea. I'm a cowboy, wild and free. No little filly can ever tame a man like me." She sneered. "As if I'd want to. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She gestured toward his very fine chest with her pencil. "On the off chance I find out after we're married that your declaration of abiding love and devotion has been an elaborate con job perpetrated by you, Bodie, and Scary Spice ... "
He massaged her arch. "I definitely wouldn't lose too much sleep over that."
"Just in case. You will give me all you worldly goods, shave your head, and leave the country."
"Deal."
"Plus, you have to hand out your Sox tickets so I can burn them in front of your eyes. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

As they began to mount the stairs, he looked up at his mother. "Just how many of those wine coolers did she drink?"
"She had three," Suzy replied.
Three! Bobby Tom couldn't believe it. After only three drinks, she'd stripped off her clothes and demanded that he have sex with her.
"Mom?" He shoved on his hat.
"Yes dear."
"Whatever you do, don't let her anywhere near a six-pack. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Someone's moved these crates away from the wall. Go up to the house, will you, and see if you can find a flashlight? I want a better look."
"Here." She pulled out the small flashlight she'd stuck in her pocket. "Do you have any idea how annoying that is?"
"I'll try not to do it again. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom's irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was damned demeaning, that's what it was, being reduced to a set of oil pecs and a tight ass. Shit. A dozen years in the NFL, and this was what it had all come down to. Pecs and ass. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He settled his hat back into position. She was a rookie in her first big game, and he'd never let her see how close she'd come to unseating a champion — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Don't dare a person who has nothing else left to lose. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She loved him. There it was. The thing she'd vowed would never happen. She loved Theo Harp. Not just his body or his face. Not just for sex or companionship. Definitely not for his money. She loved him for who he was. For his beautiful, tortured, kind soul. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Chip, I know you don't understand this, but I'd take it as a personal favor if you'd stop trying to marry your mother off to my brothers. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

This is America. We're entitled to our opinions."
"Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

- Don't you own anything pink?
She looked down at her bike shorts and camouflage T-shirt. - What's wrong with this?
- Nothing, if you're planning to invade Cuba. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He wanted to protect her and
fuck her and comfort her and destroy her all at once. The chaos of his emotions coiled around his pain,
deepening the agony. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Just out of curiosity, sweetheart; did you ever talk to your doctor about givin' you some tranquilizers? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Clubs rattled behind them. Skeet Cooper rubbed the corner of his mouth with his thumb and rose from the bench. "Looks like Kenny's caddy's here."
Dallie lifted an eyebrow as his son stepped up on the tee carrying Kenny's bag.
Ted smiled. "Sorry I'm late. Mom made me eat breakfast. Then she started fussing with my hair, don't ask me why."
Dallie took the driver Skeet handed him. "Funny you didn't mention that you were going to caddy for Kenny today."
"Must have forgot." Ted smiled and shifted the bag. "I told Skeet."
Dallie shot Skeet an annoyed look that didn't bother Skeet one bit. Kenny gestured toward the tee. "Be my guest. I believe in showing respect for the elderly and the infirm. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Thanks, but seriously . . ." She regarded him with earnest eyes and what she hoped was a semi-shy expression. "You're way too hot for me." "That just means I can warm you up faster." She — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You're the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don't believe it, but I'm going to prove it to you. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

We're only human." "One of us, anyway. The other's a reptile." "Harsh, Annabelle. Very harsh. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The Cinderella story in reverse. I only wish there were ashes in the fireplace so I could order you to sweep them out. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He pushed the steelframed glasses up on his perfect nose. "I don't pay much attention to the selfhelp movement, but even I've heard of you. Is the doctorate real or phony?"
"I have a very real Ph.D. in psychology, which qualifies me to make a fairly accurate diagnosis: "You're a jerk. Now, leave me alone. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Mummy's coming home late tonight. It'll be just we guys, so we can get drunk and watch porn. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Honey lamb, there are a lot of things in this world I feel insecure about. Religion. Our national economic policies. What color socks to wear with a blue suit. But I've got to tell you that my performance in that hotel room last night isn't one of them. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

In Dallie's mind that was one of the world's stupidest questions, right up there with: was it as good for you as it was for me? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?"
"I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

There is a God after all. And She watches out for Her own." Dan — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?"
"We like it here," Jason said. "It reminds us of home."
"Plus, no women around." Leandro Collins, the Bears' first-string tight end emerged from the office munching on a bag of chips. "There's times when you need a rest from the ladies."
Annabelle shot out her arm and smacked him in the side of the head. "Don't forget who you're talking to."
Leandro had a short fuse, and he'd been known to take out a ref here and there when he didn't like a call, but the tight end merely rubbed the side of his head and grimaced. "Just like my mama."
"Mine, too," Tremaine said with happy nod.
Annabelle spun on Heath. "Their mother! I'm thirty-one years old, and I remind them of their mothers."
"You act like my mother," Sean pointed out, unwisely as it transpired, because he got a swat in the head next. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She (Daisy) dug her nails into her palms and told herself she had no choice. "I, Theodosia ... " She gulped for air. " ... take thee Alexander ... " She gulped again. " ... to be my awful wedded husband ... — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She grabbed the bills. "Alright, you rat bastard, you win." She stuffed the money in her back pocket.
"But I'm only taking it because I'm greedy and desperate, and because there's no door on that room so you can't get too frisky.
"Fair enough."
"I mean it, Dean. If you try to cop even one feel ... "
"Me? What about you?" His eyes slid over her like cool icing on hot spice cake. "How about this, double or nothing."
"What are you taking about?"
"You touch me first, I keep the hundred. I touch you first, you get two hundred. Nobody touches anybody, the deals stands as is."
She thought it over, but couldn't see any immediate loopholes other than the threat of her inner-slut emerging, and she could darn well control that little bitch. "Deal. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Hold it right there. The only agreement we ever had was that you intended to make me as miserable as possible, and I intended to courageously make the best of an intolerable situation like valiant Southern women have always done. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

If I told you, you might be forced to lie about it. Not that you aren't really good at it, but why put an old man in that position? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He mounted the stairs. You're a romantic, Daisy. It's not that I think I'm so irresistible - God knows, I don't - but over the years it's been my observation that the minute any man puts a red flag in front of a woman, she changes it in her mind to a green one. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It was one of the two questions people most frequently asked writers, and if he invited her to join him, it wouldn't take her long to get around to the other one. "I've always wanted to know, Colin. Where do you authors get your ideas?"
We steal them.
From extraterrestrials.
There's a warehouse outside Tulsa ... — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I think this is the way love feels to people like you and me. Threatening and dangerous. We have to be in control, and love takes that away. People like us ... We can't tolerate vulnerability. But despite our best efforts, sooner or later love seems to catch up with us. And then ... And then we fall apart. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You should have made porn puppets. You could have charged a lot more for the shows. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Monday afternoon. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

me, for whatever twisted reason. That means I've gone — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It's me, not you." She turned to him, urging him with her eyes to go along with her. "Everybody else thinks you're fabulous, so it has to be me, right? Nobody else seems to find you just a little bit . . . creepy."

He cocked an eyebrow.

Francesca swelled up in her chair. "Did you just call my son 'creepy'?"

Ted spooned up another bite of chocolate, interested in what else she'd come up with. He wasn't going to help at all. She wanted to kiss him, yell at him. Instead, she returned her attention to the women.

"Be honest." Her voice gained strength with the rightness of what she was doing. "You all know what I mean. The way the birds start to sing when he walks outside. That's creepy, right? And those halos that keep popping up around his head? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter."
Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. "I told you it tasted weird."
Eddie shrugged. "Tasted okay to me. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I love you guilty. It makes it easier for me to wrap you around my finger. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Everything was dirty and beautiful and wonderful. If she wasn't so terrified, New York City would have felt just right to her. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

There was something missing inside me I was trying to fill up, but I went about doing it the wrong way. But there sure isn't anything missing inside me now, because you're there. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She glared at him. "You're doing it again."
"What?"
"That thing that irritates me."
"Smiling?"
"Yes. That. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked."
"He's a minister!"
"It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?"
"You're making a joke out of this."
"Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would think something this traumatic was funny. Tell you what. I'll go downstairs right this minute and kill him before he gets away. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Meg! I love you! I want to marry you!"
"That's weird," she said without stopping. "Only six weeks ago, you were telling me all about how Lucy broke your heart."
"I was wrong. Lucy broke my brain. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I like to get input from the ladies when I shop." He grabbed a navy T-shirt and studied the il ustration, a cartoon drawing of a woman with enormous
breasts and a rocket launcher between her legs.
"That would be a definite no," she said.
"I like it." He tossed it over his shoulder and began thumbing through a stack of jeans.
"I thought you wanted my input."
He stared at her blankly. "Why'd you think that?" She gave up. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

There you are," he said when she bobbed up. "I was getting worried."
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting till you're ready to drown." He smiled and eased back down on the seat. "And then I'm going to save your life. Dan did it for Phoebe and I'm going to do it for you."
"Dan didn't try to murder her first!" she screamed.
"I go the extra mile. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

His loss. I know a hell of a lot more about headstrong teenage girls than he does."
Colin gave her his most quelling look. "You're baiting him again."
Ryan studied first one of them and then the other. "What's going on with you two?"
"Nothing."
Unfortunately, they spoke together, automatically making them look like liars. Sugar Beth recovered first and handled the situation in her own way. "Relax, Ryan. Colin's done his best to get rid of me, but I'm blackmailing him with some unsavory facts I've unearthed about his past, which may or may not involve the ritual deaths of small animals, so if my body ends up in a ditch somewhere, tell the police to start their interrogations with him. Plus you might warn everybody to be careful with their cats. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She loved Bram in a clear-eyed way she'd never loved her ex-husband, no rose-colored glasses or mindless giddiness, no Cinderella fantasies or false certainty that he'd put her life in order. What she felt for Bram was messy, honest, and soul-deep. He felt like ... part of her, the best and the worst. Like someone she wanted to struggle through life with; share triumphs and catastrophes; share holidays, birthdays, every days — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

This is a perfect example of how entirely out of hand the women in this country have gotten. You act like men aren't anything more than extraneous amusements, little toys to keep you entertained. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Something snapped inside her. "Of course I'm afraid! Relationships do bad things to me." He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn't want to hear it. "You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here's what's really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Figure out what depletes you creatively and get it out out of your life. (This doesn't apply to spouse and kids.) Give yourself permission to put garbage on the screen. A lot of days it's the only way you'll be able to keep going. You can clean it up later. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The oversize jar that held Regan's collection of beach glass was stored at the back of his closet, shoved there years ago because, like so much else in the house, it triggered bad memories. But as he pulled it out and carried it downstairs, the edges of his dark mood lifted for the first time all day. The sweet, generous side of Regan's nature would have loved passing on her precious beach stones to Livia, one little girl to another.
As he descended the stairs that his sister had raced up and down a dozen times a day, something brushed past him. Something warm. Invisible. He stopped where he was and shut his eyes, the glass jar cool in his hands, his sister's face vivid in his mind.
Regan smiling at him. A smile that said Be happy. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The final cover for 'Heroes Are My Weakness' feels exactly right. It reflects the cold, wintry setting of an isolated island off the coast of Maine and the feisty spirit of a heroine who refuses to give up, even when the odds are stacked against her. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Was there some basic flaw in her makeup that made her keep falling in love with this man who couldn't love her back? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

For a fraction of a moment she glimpsed the truth. She saw a world so terrified of Woman's mystical power that nothing would do but to obliterate the very source of that power - the natural shape of her body. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

His gaze was a lot steadier than her heartbeat. "She's the reason for those whispered phone calls I used to overhear, isn't she?"
"Don't be silly. I was talking to my lover."
"She told me she lives at a place called Brookdale. After I hung up, I did a little research on the Web. Your talent for obfuscation continues to amaze me."
"Hey, I haven't obfuscated in weeks. Makes you go blind. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Sex with Panda was like being in a porno movie but without a third party involved. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

A couple of nights ago I had an erotic dream about Edward Norton. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I never thought I'd have to give you-a former Sunday School teacher-a lecture on ethics."
"Former Sunday School teachers don't go around without their underwear."
"You show me where it says that in the Bible. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

What you did was a step away from a rape. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Save your sweet talk for later, Daphne. The garbage guys just drove up with the new Dumpster."
"Shut the lid after you climb in. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Don't touch me like that. Don't touch me anywhere. Touch me everywhere. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Any fool can love somebody who's perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesn't stretch your soul. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they've hurt you. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The love radiating from Mariah's face, her hand curled protectively across her belly, all of it so tender. These sketches were Annie's true legacy. They were concrete evidence that Annie had been created in love. Maybe that's what her mother had wanted her to see. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Even though she was jobless, penniless, and homeless, he was the needy one. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You can't do extraordinary things in the world if you're spending time criticizing others because they don't look or behave the way you think they should. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Love, I've discovered is a transient emotion best satisfied by a good fuck. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Give me those keys."
"I will not!"
"You win, Professor. I'll buy you a car. Now give me the damn keys."
"I have a car."
"A real car. A Mercedes, a BMW, whatever you want."
"I don't want a Mercedes or a BMW."
"That's what you think."
"Stop bullying me."
"I haven't even started. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

There's no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Something brushed his leg, and he gazed down into the face of Pippi Tucker. The theme from Jaws raced through his head. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I don't love you anymore", she whispered. "I don't love you at all." His throat closed. "It's all right, sweetheart. I love you enough for both of us. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Charlie glared at the puppet. "I'm really mad."
"Sure you are. Super mad." Leo circled his head one way and then the other. "I've got an idea."
"What?"
"Tell him how mad you are. Then look really pitiful and ask him to take you Boogie-boarding. If you look pitiful enough, I bet he'll feel so bad that he'll take you."
Charlie wasn't born yesterday. He looked past Leo to the man holding him. "Really! Can we go right now?"
His father set Leo aside and shrugged. "The waves look good. Why not? Get your stuff."
Charlie jumped up, and raced toward the house. His legs pumping. But just as he got to the front step, he stopped and whipped around. "I get to drive!"
"No you don't!" his mother countered, slipping Scamp from her arm.
Charlie stomped inside, and his father laughed. "I love that kid. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

His fists clenched at his sides. 'Damn it! Where's your pride?'
'Pride? It's in my heart, of course.'
'You're letting me demean you!'
She smiled. 'You can't do that. I can only demean myself. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that.
-Bobby Tom — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He sounds like Jesus. Except rich and sexy."
"Watch it, Meg. In this town joking about Jesus could get you shot. You've never seen so many of the faithful who're armed. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I want to get married.
We are married.
I want to do it again.
Let's just do it. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You were the best birthday present I ever got."
"Thank you."
"I wanted to give you something back, but I've got to warn you that it's not half as good as my present. Even so, you have to keep it."
"All right."
He draped the pink bow around his neck and grinned. "Happy birthday, Rosebud. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Of all the things her father had done to her, she'd never imagined he'd marry her off to the Marlboro Man. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The door closed behind her (Phoebe), and the two men regarded each other for a moment. Viktor spoke first. "I must have your promise, Coach, that you won't hurt her." Dan: "I won't." Viktor: "You spoke a little too quickly for my taste. I don't quite believe you." Dan: "I'm a man of my word, and I promise I won't hurt her." He flexed his hands. "When I murder her, I'll do it real quick so she won't feel a thing." Viktor sighed. "That's exactly what I was afraid of. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Old radicals never changed. They just got law degrees and updated their bag of tricks. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Stop trying to be cute. You're too mean to be cute. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

When you've been around a snake long enough, you learn how to crawl in the dirt. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Phoebe regarded Kevin with eyes as chilly as a Lions uniform in the middle of a losing Detroit November. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She thought it over, but couldn't see any immediate loopholes other than the threat of her inner slut emerging, and she could darned well control that little bitch. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

If you 're serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Anybody ever tell you that you've got a smart mouth?" "It goes with my brain. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He liked discomfort. It made him feel alive. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You let us out right now, o r Gabe is going to shoot you with his gun! I mean it! He's got a million guns, and he'll shoot you, then cut you up with a knife! — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It must be hard being you," she said. "Mr. Perfect on the outside. Dr. Evil on the inside."
"It's not that hard. The rest of the world isn't as insightful as you. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She shot across the rug, flung the door back open, and yelled into the parking lot. "I hope you choke on your blood vegetables! — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Captain Blood, Robin Hood, Don Juan -Flynn had played them all. Sometimes if the mood struck him, he'd even played them well. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Everybody won't like everything you write. Some people won't like anything you write. Get over it. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me? — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She pretended she understood him, but how could she? He lived in the stars, and she was good, solid earth. She — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I hate to admit this, but some days hearing about other people's problems actually cheers me up. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She was killing him and doing it so gleefully. He — Susan Elizabeth Phillips