Stephanie McAfee Quotes & Sayings

I didn't get my nap today. Wouldn't do for someone to piss me off. — Stephanie McAfee

I'd rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date. — Stephanie McAfee

Times are a'changing, my man. Welcome to the new real world where fat people don't have to hate themselves anymore. Thank God for women like Melissa McCarthy and Adele so we can all start really believing that now. — Stephanie McAfee

Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober. — Stephanie McAfee

Will you hold on to my penis while I drive?"

"If it's absolutely necessary, yes. — Stephanie McAfee

Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!"

Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area.

"What's the problem here?" the man behind the desk asks the TSA officer.

"She's harassing me, and I feel that I'm being discriminated against because of my intelligence level," I say.

The man looks at me. "What?"

"This woman attempted to engage me in idiotic conversation and I'm psychologically incapable of reacting in a positive way to such foolishness and we had an altercation after she threatened to throw away my ChapStick. — Stephanie McAfee