Sonja Lyubomirsky Quotes & Sayings

It turns out that the process of working toward a goal, participating in a valued and challenging activity, is as important to well-being as its attainment. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

If we can accept as true that life circumstances are not the keys to happiness, we'll be greatly empowered to pursue happiness for ourselves. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

All that is required to become an optimist is to have the goal and to practice it. The more you rehearse optimistic thoughts, the more 'natural' and 'ingrained' they will become. With time they will be part of you, and you will have made yourself into an altogether different person. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

In a nutshell, the fountain of happiness can be found in how you behave, what you think, and what goals you set every day of your life. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Thus the key to happiness lies not in changing our genetic makeup (which is impossible) and not in changing our circumstances (i.e., seeking wealth or attractiveness or better colleagues, which is usually impractical), but in our daily intentional activities. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

a shift in thinking' toward someone who has wronged you, 'such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good (or to benefit your relationship) has increased.' Forgiveness, at a minimum, is a decision to let go of the desire for revenge and ill-will toward the person who wronged you. It may also include feelings of goodwill toward the other person. Forgiveness is also a natural resolution of
the grief process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

happiness, more than anything, is a state of mind, a way of perceiving and approaching ourselves and the world in which we reside. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

If you're not happy today, then you won't be happy tomorrow unless you take things into your own hands and take action. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

I prefer to think of the creation or construction of happiness, because research shows that it's in our power to fashion it for ourselves. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

The more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

The face of happiness may be someone who is intensely curious and enthusiastic about learning; it may be someone who is engrossed in plans for his next five years; it may be someone who can distinguish between the things that matter and the things that don't; it may be someone who looks forward each night to reading to her child. Some happy people may appear outwardly cheerful or transparently serene, and others are simply busy. In other words, we all have the potential to be happy, each in our own way. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

people who regularly practice appreciation or gratitude - who, for example, "count their blessings" once a week over the course of one to twelve consecutive weeks or pen appreciation letters to people who've been kind and meaningful - become reliably happier and healthier, and remain happier for as long as six months after the experiment is over. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Last but not least, the happiest people do have their share of stresses, crises, and even tragedies. They may become just as distressed and emotional in such circumstances as you or I, but their secret weapon is the poise and strength they show in coping in the face of challenge. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

[Optimism] is not about providing a recipe for self-deception. The world can be a horrible, cruel place, and at the same time it can be wonderful and abundant. These are both truths. There is not a halfway point; there is only choosing which truth to put in your personal foreground. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

People prone to joyful anticipation, skilled at obtaining pleasure from looking forward and imagining future happy events, are especially likely to be optimistic and to experience intense emotions. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Forgiving people are less likely to be hateful, depressed, hostile, anxious, angry, and neurotic. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Happiness is not out there for us to find. The reason that it's not out there is that it's inside us. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Find a happy person, and you will find a project. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Exercise may very well be the most effective instant happiness booster of all activities, — Sonja Lyubomirsky

No one in our society needs to be told that exercise is good for us. Whether you are overweight or have a chronic illness or are a slim couch potato, you've probably heard or read this dictum countless times throughout your life. But has anyone told you-indeed, guaranteed you-that regular physical activity will make you happier? I swear by it. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Every day you have to renew your commitment. Some of the strategies should become habitual over time and not a huge effort. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Gratitude is an antidote to negative emotions, a neutralizer of envy, hostility, worry, and irritation. It is savoring; it is not taking things for granted; it is present oriented. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

I use the term happiness to refer to the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

The combination of rumination and negative mood is toxic. Research shows that people who ruminate while sad or distraught are likely to feel besieged, powerless, self-critical, pessimistic, and generally negatively biased. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

It is equally important to investigate wellness as it is to study misery. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

When we are fully mindful of the transience of things - an impending return home from an overseas adventure, a graduation, our child boarding the school bus for the first day of kindergarten, a close colleague changing jobs, a move to a new city - we are more likely to appreciate [be grateful for] and savor the remaining time that we do have. Although bittersweet experiences also make us sad, it is this sadness that prompts us, instead of taking it for granted, to come to appreciate the positive aspects of our vacation, colleague, or hometown; it's 'now or never.' — Sonja Lyubomirsky

If we observe genuinely happy people, we shall find that they do not just sit around being contented. They make things happen. They pursue new understandings, seek new achievements, and control their thoughts and feelings. In sum, our intentional, effortful activities have a powerful effect on how happy we are, over and above the effects of our set points and the circumstances in which we find themselves. If an unhappy person wants to experience interest, enthusiasm, contentment, peace, and joy, he or she can make it happen by learning the habits of a happy person. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

The practice of gratitude is incompatible with negative emotions and may actually diminish or deter such feelings as anger, bitterness, and greed. — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Write down your barrier thoughts, and then consider ways to reinterpret the situation. In the process, ask yourself questions like ... What else could this situation or experience mean? Can anything good come from it? Does it present any opportunities for me? What lessons can I learn and apply to the future? Did I develop any strengths as a result? — Sonja Lyubomirsky

Women's magazines will often ask me things like, 'All right, I need six five-minute happiness strategies.' And I say, well, there aren't any five-minute happiness strategies. This is something you have to do kind of every day for the rest of your life. Just like if you want to raise moral children or if you want to advance in your career. It's a goal you pursue your whole life. — Sonja Lyubomirsky