Soman Chainani Quotes & Sayings

Beauty is a full-time job. — Soman Chainani

If there was one word Agatha dreaded more than "ball", it was "dancing". — Soman Chainani

Sophie and Agatha locked eyes one last time but neither screamed for the other.
Once true loves, the two girls now pulled apart like strangers, each in the arms of a boy, Good with
Good, Evil with Evil ...
Both of their wishes granted. — Soman Chainani

Naturally the villagers blamed bears. No one had ever seen a bear in Gavaldon, but this made them more determined to find one. Four years later, when two more children vanished, the villagers admitted they should have been more specific and declared black bears the culprit, bears so black they blended with the night. But when children continued to disappear every four years, the village shifted their attention to burrowing bears, then phantom bears, then bears in disguise ... Until it became clear it wasn't it wasn't bears at all. — Soman Chainani

But as they grew closer and closer, Sophie had opened Agatha's wings to a love so strong she thought it would last forever. It was she and Sophie against the world. But on that first day of school, watching Sophie with a prince, Agatha realized how blind she'd been. The bond between two girls, no matter how fierce or loyal, changed once a boy came between them. — Soman Chainani

Agatha, what do you see when you look in the mirror?"
"I don't look in mirrors."
"Why is that?"
"Because horses and hogs don't sit around ogling their reflections! — Soman Chainani

The thing Tedros liked about girls is that they always started the conversation. Most of the time, his job was just to listen, ask questions, and try to understand what in God's name was going on in their complicated little heads. He rarely had any idea what girls were talking about or why they made everything so torturous in their logic, so playing the role of the strong, silent type usually gave him time to catch up. — Soman Chainani

You aren't jealous that Agatha gets a boy and a crown and a kingdom and everything else?" Hort pressed in disbelief. "You aren't jealous that Agatha's a queen?" He saw her stop at the gates, faced away as students streamed past. "A tiny bit, of course," she said softly. "But then I remember . . ." Sophie looked back, smiling bright as a diamond. "I'm me. — Soman Chainani

there were no more words, as tears streamed down their faces and mixed on their lips, the sugar and salt of love. — Soman Chainani

To find a happy ending with someone else, first you have to find it alone. — Soman Chainani

That's the difference between Good and Evil, Clarissa,' the Evil Dean said softly. 'We know that love isn't always enough for a happy ending. — Soman Chainani

After graduating from our school, they went into the Woods expecting epic battles with monsters and wizards, only to find their fairy tales unfold right in their own houses. They didn't realize that villains are the ones closest to us. They didn't realize that to find a happy ending, a hero must first look right under his nose. — Soman Chainani

Tedros in the Sky with Chocolate — Soman Chainani

The occasional bowl of bacon and beans (she couldn't shake the cravings from her time as a boy). — Soman Chainani

I'm the prince and you're the princess and rescuing our friend is my job. Just ask Merlin!" Tedros yelled, practically a shriek - "Yes, now you've got it, boy," Merlin spouted, not looking as he trimmed his beard with a thorn. "Sound perfectly female now. — Soman Chainani

Agatha wondered what these girls' souls would wish for. Depth, perhaps. — Soman Chainani

Watching across the aisles, the Nevers' faces began to change. One by one, their scowls turned sorrowful, their eyes melted to hurt. Hort, Ravan, Anadil, even Hester ... as if they too wished they could have such joy. As if they too wished they could feel as wanted. Gone was their will to fight, lost to broken hearts, and the villains shrank into silence, snakes drained of venom. — Soman Chainani

Only once you destroy who you think you are can you embrace who you truly are — Soman Chainani

But sometimes to keep Evil from getting in, you have to let Good out. — Soman Chainani

She had always found villains more exciting than heroes. They had ambition, passion. They made the stories happen. Villains didn't fear death. No, they wrapped themselves in death like suits of armor! As she inhaled the school's graveyard smell, Agatha felt her blood rush. For like all villains, death didn't scare her. It made her feel alive. — Soman Chainani

AND IF YOU FAIL, THEN SOMETHING SO BAD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU THAT I CAN'T SAY, BUT IT INVOLVES YOU NEVER BEING SEEN AGAIN! — Soman Chainani

To be in a world of magic and romance and Goodness and then robbed back into drab, pointless life seemed so ... wrong. I didn't belong in a cottage lane with fifteen houses exactly like mine. I couldn't marry some shopkeeper or cobbler's boy and slog at the bakery each day just to feed our children. I wanted to find real happiness where The End didn't mean getting old and useless and being crammed in a graveyard with everyone else. — Soman Chainani

I've been beautiful all along. — Soman Chainani

It's the problem with fairy tales. From far away, they seem so perfect. But up close, they're just as complicated as real life. — Soman Chainani

No one likes boys! Even girls who like boys can't stand boys! — Soman Chainani

And yet, even if my heart beats for Evil, that doesn't mean I can't find love. That doesn't mean I can't find happiness. It just means I have to find love with someone who embraces my darkness instead of fighting it. — Soman Chainani

Dot hurled her pizza at her, smacking Hester in the cheek. Do you know how unfair that is, you contemptuous git! You made me gain weight in order to stay in the coven and now you're making fun of me for it? Are you that insecure that you needed me to be fat to feel okay about yourself? Well, you picked the wrong piggy tail to pull, honey. I love myself no matter what I look like, so nothing you say to me will ever make me feel ugly again. Because unlike you, Hester, I'll never be ugly inside. — Soman Chainani

You're nothing but a boy - a well-built, virile, obscenely handsome boy - but still, a boy. You can't lord over me. You can't scare me into true love. I don't care if you're gorgeous or rich or powerful. Tedros — Soman Chainani

I'm afraid I've already found my Ever After, Hort," said Sophie.
"What? With who?" Hort asked, aghast.
"On my own," she said, her voice sure and clear. "I'm happy on my own."
And for the first time, she knew it was true. — Soman Chainani

What's the one thing Evil can never have ... and the one thing Good can never do without? — Soman Chainani

You've been hurt by everyone you ever trusted, my — Soman Chainani

Make us human, they demanded
Agatha blanched. Since when could she understand animals?
Save us, princess, they cried.
Since when could she understand delusional animals? — Soman Chainani

Silence fell between the two couples. Even the Storian faltered, unsure who was defending who anymore. "Don't mind me," Rafal prodded, smiling. "Who needs a villain when you three have each other? — Soman Chainani

Sophie bristled. "About to die with your beloved prince and still thinking about me. My story will go on without you, Agatha. I don't need you anymore or your pity, like one of your decrepit cats. I'm no longer your Good Deed."

"But I'm still yours," said Agatha. "Because without your love, I'd never have become who I really am. So even if I die, I'll always be your Good Deed, Sophie. And no Evil in the world will ever erase that. — Soman Chainani

But you are my queen. No one but you. And I like seeing you wear it. Because as long as you do, I know you still love me. And given our history of miscommunication, physical cues are helpful. — Soman Chainani

i am queen of percha, sullenest of the seven seas, Behold my dusky desert beauty". She wiped of her scarf and did a terrible belly dance. — Soman Chainani

Lips on hers, Agatha thought. Your lips that kissed me on hers, your lips that taste like vanilla clouds on hers, your lips you vowed to me "Forever" on hers. — Soman Chainani

Rat #1 got you through the gates, didn't it?" said Anadil, stroking the still-pooped pet in her pocket. "Rat #2 gets you to the tower."
"And Rat #3 negotiates world peace? — Soman Chainani

and soon the cat was in the toilet. — Soman Chainani

And Sophie and Agatha lived happily ever after, for girls don't need princes for love to call ... No, they don't need princes in their fairy tales at all — Soman Chainani

In the forest of primeval
A school for Good and Evil
Twin towers like two heads
One for the pure
And one for the wicked
Try to escape you'll always fail,
The only way out is
Through a fairytale. — Soman Chainani

I don't want to die."
"I didn't want to either." said the white wolf. — Soman Chainani

Go ahead, laugh. You can name your children Blond and Blonder. — Soman Chainani

First time I told my dad I liked a girl, he slathered me in honey and sealed me in a bear den for a night. Haven't liked one since." "First time I told my mother I fancied someone, she baked me in an oven for an hour," Mona agreed, green skin paling. "I never think about boys now." "First time I liked a boy, my dad killed him." The group stopped and stared at Arachne. "Maybe Sophie just had bad parents," she said. — Soman Chainani

Last night," the long-nosed man replied, looking surprised by her question. "You drank a barrel of wine and told me you miss cleaning for your stepsisters because at least you felt useful and stayed fit and now you're old and bored and big as a house
"
"WHO ASKED YOU?" thundered the woman. "YOU SPENT HALF YOUR LIFE AS A PUPPET! — Soman Chainani

Nothing in this world was ever certain. Princes could become as frightening as ogres. Princesses could become villains. Best friends could become enemies. — Soman Chainani

You're not evil Sophie," Agatha whispered, touching her decayed cheek. "You're human."
Sophie smiled weakly. "Only if I have you. — Soman Chainani

Hester glowered at her. "The biggest mistake a villain can make is to get caught up in revenge. Hansel and Gretel were two hungry kids trying to survive in the Woods. Mother thought she'd captured another pair of greedy, gluttonous brats, only to grossly underestimate them. Hansel and Gretel killed her because they had to. It wasn't personal." She glanced back at the old siblings. "Doesn't mean I can stand the sight of 'em, of course. But it also doesn't mean their story has anything to do with mine anymore. — Soman Chainani

Sophie shouldn't even have let herself love!" Ravan shot back. "First time I told my dad I liked a girl, he slathered me in honey and sealed me in a bear den for a night. Haven't liked one since."
"First time I told my mother I fancied someone, she baked me in an oven for an hour," Mona agreed, green skin paling. "I never think about boys now."
"First time I liked a boy, my dad killed him."
The group stopped and stared at Arachne.
"Maybe Sophie just had bad parents. — Soman Chainani

honor and valor that's what good is — Soman Chainani

Agatha let out a rush of air and gripped her old history textbook to her chest. Leave it to a librarian to find the book she needed, she thought, silently thanking the tortoise. — Soman Chainani

I choose whether this world lives or dies. And I'm happy to watch it burn to dust if you expect a slave instead of a queen. — Soman Chainani

Of all the tales in all the kingdoms in all the Woods, you had to walk into mine. — Soman Chainani

And yet knowing all these mistakes were yours, beautifully yours, and you came out the better for it... the boy I left behind well on his way to becoming an extraordinary man and an extraordinary king." Merlin smiled. "If only from your choice of princess alone. — Soman Chainani

Because our souls were never created with love. We are the discarded, the neglected, the beaten down. We are the hated, the castoffs, the freaks. Despair is our fuel; pain is our power. The — Soman Chainani

Who needs Snow White when they can have me? — Soman Chainani

I've already killed you and kissed you more times in my head than you deserve. — Soman Chainani

Top-half students may use the Groom Room. Bottom-half students should use the time to reflect upon their mediocrity! — Soman Chainani

Agatha: "If you say anything smug or stuck-up or shallow, I'll have Reaper follow you home."
Sophie: "But then I can't talk! — Soman Chainani

Mushrooms are fungus and fungus reminds me of feet and I don't eat feet.) — Soman Chainani

This was about two sides warring for love.
She and Tedros fighting for Good. Sophie and the School Master fighting for Evil.
Once upon a time, she and her best friend tried to find a happy ending together. Now only one of them could come out alive. — Soman Chainani

No wonder princesses were so impotent in fairy tales, she thought. If all they could do was smile, stand straight, and speak to squirrels, then what choice did they have but to wait for a boy to rescue them? Princess — Soman Chainani

No one can hide from their fate without a price. — Soman Chainani

Don't you get it? My soul is broken! I'm messed up, sick in the head, rotten to the core! I'm damaged. I'll never find the kind of love you did because I'll never be happy inside. All — Soman Chainani

The boys went off to fight with swords while girls had to learn dog barks and owl hoots. No wonder princesses were so impotent in fairy tales, she thought. If all they could do was smile, stand straight, and speak to squirrels, then what choice did they have but to wait for a boy to rescue them? — Soman Chainani

Now there are five rules that separate Good from Evil, the gnome said, and wrote them in air with his smoking staff. 1. The Evil attack. The Good defend. 2. The Evil punish. The Good forgive. 3. The Evil hurt. The Good help. 4. The Evil take. The Good give. 5. The Evil hate. The Good love. — Soman Chainani

So there's no way home?" Agatha asked, eyes welling. "Not unless it's your ending," the School Master said. "And going home together is a rather far-fetched ending for two girls fighting for opposing sides, don't you think? — Soman Chainani

This time Sophie felt very different in Rafal's arms as he flew over the bay. Instead of safe, she felt scared; instead of loved, she felt caged. — Soman Chainani

It had taken her whole life to make a single friend. And here these girls had become best friends in minutes as if making friends was the simplest thing in the world. Agatha pricked with shame. — Soman Chainani

So go into the Woods and get your Sophie back!" Tedros retorted. "Why don't you go and get your Filip back!" Agatha barked - Then slowly, they both blushed to silence, realizing they were talking about the same person. — Soman Chainani

Our towers aren't fair and lovely they're valor and honor that's what good is. — Soman Chainani

Either you're lying again or you're as stupid as you look. You ditch me first year for him when you were a girl. You ditch me second year for him when you were a boy. You lie and cheat and steal for him while he treats you like crap, and I help you and care for you and worship you like a queen while you treat me like crap! What does that guy have that I don't? What makes him so lovable and me so unworthy? Know how many times I've asked myself that question, Sophie? How many times I've studied him like a book or sat in the dark picturing every last shred of him, trying to understand why he's more of a person than me? Or why the moment he's gone, you take a ring from the School Master - or Raphael or Michelangelo or Donatello or whatever you want to call him to make yourself feel better - just because he looks like you want him to look and says what you want to hear? When you could have had someone who's honest and kind and real? — Soman Chainani

Beauty can only fight the truth for so long... — Soman Chainani

Agatha looked into the wolf's eyes. "I don't want to die,"
for the first time, his sneer softened.
"I didn't either. — Soman Chainani

Turns out all it takes to bring enemies to peace is a bigger enemy. — Soman Chainani

Gently Agatha touched her face in the mirror, glowing from inside.
A face no one recognized because it was so happy.
There could be no turning back now. The bread crumbs on the dark trail were gone. Instead, she had the truth to guide her. A truth greater than any magic.
I've been beautiful all along. — Soman Chainani

Sophie: "For the Create-A-Tale Competition, your story ended with Snow White eaten by vultures and Cinderella drowning her-self in a tub."
Agatha: "I thought it was a better ending. — Soman Chainani

(Sophie did a few yoga poses to stretch until she saw Tedros gawking and decided yoga was best done in private.) It — Soman Chainani

Even fairy tales have limits," said Sophie. "Three people can't have an Ever After. Not without me being alone. — Soman Chainani

Well, my dear. At least you can say you're even now. — Soman Chainani

Because in the end, Good and Evil are two sides of the same story: every Good comes from Evil and every Evil from Good. Just — Soman Chainani

They dig inside your soul and find your greatest wish! (Very helpful if you've lost your tongue or your voice and need to tell a prince to kiss you.) — Soman Chainani

But when children continued to disappear every four years, the village shifted their attention to burrowing bears, then phantom bears, then bears in disguise . . . until it became clear it wasn't bears at all. — Soman Chainani

Agatha of Woods Beyond."
He laid down the sword.
"Will you be my princess for the Ball? — Soman Chainani

My behavior last night was poor."
"Poor?" Agatha coughed. "You pushed me through a window! — Soman Chainani

You don't know me well enough to know that I spend half my life saying stupid things and the other half apologizing for them, said Tedros. — Soman Chainani

Everytime you do a Good Deed with true intention, your soul grows purer. — Soman Chainani

Sometimes I wonder," Merlin declared, licking a bit of mustard off his upper lip, "where exactly does the food come from? Is there a fourth dimension where a magic hat goes to fetch it? Or does it simply summon turkeys and bread out of thin air? In which case, what is this sandwich really made of? — Soman Chainani

Professor Manley begins his first day of Uglification class by explaining why villains must be ugly to succeed. Ugliness releases you from the surface - from the prison of vanity and youur own looks - and sets you free to embrace the soul within. — Soman Chainani

It doesn't matter if you're a Never, Ever, or whatever. In the end, the fairest of them all wins. — Soman Chainani

Agatha, you dressed as a bride for Halloween."
"Weddings are scary. — Soman Chainani

Evil with Evil . . . Both — Soman Chainani

Agatha wondered whether in this room of heroes young and old, Hester was the greatest hero of all. — Soman Chainani

Evil Hall had been transformed into a magnificent ballroom, glittering with green tinsel, black balloons, thousands of green-flamed candles, and a spinning chandelier streaking wall murals with emerald bursts of light. Around a towering ice sculpture of two entwined snakes, Hort and Dot stumbled through a waltz, Anadil wrapped her arms around Vex, Brone tried not to step on Mona's green feet, and Hester and Ravan swayed and whispered as more villainous couples waltzed around them. Ravan's bunk mates picked up the music on reed violins as more pairs flooded onto the floor, clumsy, bashful, but aglow with happiness, dancing beneath a spangled banner:
THE 1ST ANNUAL VILLAINS NO BALL — Soman Chainani

It wasn't goodbye forever. Only goodbye for now. And if ever the distance was too much to bear, she would just look inside her heart, for Agatha was already there. — Soman Chainani

Imagine if he looked like me, she snorted. They'd have dumped the baby in the woods. — Soman Chainani

Who would end up the villain? — Soman Chainani

Whoever birthed you would slay herself on the spot if she knew you had her blood!" Tedros spat. "I'm proud to be my mother's son. — Soman Chainani

Looks like you've done enough feasting for a lifetime," snorted Pinocchio. He saw the whole table staring at him. "Did I say that out loud? — Soman Chainani

Nothing will ever be enough to satisfy the black hole in our hearts. — Soman Chainani