Shonda Rhimes Quotes & Sayings

Losing yourself does not happen all at once. Losing yourself happens one no at a time. — Shonda Rhimes

Don't ever let anyone tell you that food doesn't work. Anyone who tells you that food doesn't work is either stupid or a liar or has never had food before. You can tell them I said so. It works. Putting food on top of it works. If food did not work, if it didn't work its slutty, gluttonous, more-is-more magic, everyone in America would be Angelina Jolie thin. No one would drive-thru. No one would sprinkles or pinkberry or any of it. — Shonda Rhimes

This Yes is about giving yourself the permission to shift the focus of what is a priority from what's good for you over to what makes you feel good. — Shonda Rhimes

What did you mean by that?"
She looked up.
"What?"
"'Well, too bad for you.' That's what you said. What did you mean by that?"
...
Her own apology was sincere; the work she has to do on herself is her own.
When something wasn't going well, when there was conflict or someone was upset or being difficult, the more introverted me would flee and hope it all went away. The new me wades right into the deep end and asks, "what's wrong? — Shonda Rhimes

Mother is a verb, not a noun. — Shonda Rhimes

But we all have to acknowledge that our way is not the way. — Shonda Rhimes

Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics. I was born after the Civil Rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I am allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice and my uterus. — Shonda Rhimes

You can't tell stories and really walk in someone's shoes and not have a love for them, even if they're doing horrible things. — Shonda Rhimes

Did I tell you what veal practice is? Oh! Veal practice involved me lying very still on the sofa trying as hard as I could to mimic the life of a veal. While eating veal. I wish I were kidding. It. Was. Magic. — Shonda Rhimes

Everyone always says to me, 'Why aren't there more people of color on television?' I'm like, 'Why don't you ask a bunch of people who aren't putting people of color on television why there aren't more people of color on television?' — Shonda Rhimes

I've learned this is a very long marriage doing a television show. I like the people that I work with to be people I enjoy, so you want to cast people who are as excited and enthusiastic as you are. — Shonda Rhimes

don't apologize for being powerful. They don't — Shonda Rhimes

Serena's not worried her friend is gonna feel bad she's not as good at tennis as Serena is. You know why? Because in order to be as good as Serena, you have to decide that your goal is that NO ONE is going to be as good as you are at tennis.
Then you have to make it true. — Shonda Rhimes

Badassery: 1. (noun) the practice of knowing one's own accomplishments and gifts, accepting one's own accomplishments and gifts and celebrating one's own accomplishments and gifts; 2. (noun) the practice of living life with swagger : SWAGGER (noun or verb) a state of being that involves loving oneself, waking up "like this" and not giving a crap what anyone else thinks about you. Term first coined by William Shakespeare. — Shonda Rhimes

So you made it out of a uterus a long time ago. Big deal," I whisper. "So did everybody else on the planet. What else you got? — Shonda Rhimes

Every "yes" changes something in me. Every "yes" is a bit more transformative. Every "yes" sparks some new phase of revolution. — Shonda Rhimes

Not a single woman in the room could handle being told, "You're awesome." I couldn't handle being told I am awesome. What in the hell is wrong with us? — Shonda Rhimes

I'm missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the trade-off. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel 100 percent okay, you never get your sea legs, you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing. And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. — Shonda Rhimes

I make up characters. I create whole worlds in my head. I add words to the lexicon of daily conversation - maybe you talk about your vajayjay and tell your friend that someone at work got Poped because of my shows. I birth babies, I end lives. I dance it out. I wear the white hat. I operate. I gladiate. I exonerate. I spin yarns and tell tall tales and sit around the campfire. I wrap myself in fiction. Fiction is my job. Fiction is it. Fiction is everything. Fiction is my jam. — Shonda Rhimes

Twitter, checking in on the world, and I see a tweet from some motherhood site. It says: "Sleeplessness is a badge of honor for moms." What? A badge of honor? Right then and there, my hair catches — Shonda Rhimes

You know what happens on live TV?
Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Boob happens on live TV. Adele Dazeem happens on live TV. President Al Gore happens on live TV — Shonda Rhimes

Being a mother still happens if you don't stay home with your kids. It still happens if you get a job and go to work. It happens if you are an Army Ranger and you're deployed overseas and your kid is rating with your parents. Still a mother. Still not a job. Working or staying home, one is still a mother. — Shonda Rhimes

Tell her how much all the little things she does all year long that seem to go unnoticed really mean to you." With a $2.59 card. Mother's Day is built on that idea. — Shonda Rhimes

Most of the women I saw on TV didn't seem like people I actually knew. They felt like ideas of what women are. — Shonda Rhimes

I am terrible with examples. I can never think of them when anybody asks for an example. — Shonda Rhimes

I don't think it ever occurred to me before how much and how often women are praised for displaying traits that basically render them invisible. — Shonda Rhimes

keeps his tone soothingly soft, the mellow tones of a psychiatric nurse, as he informs me that I will have to give a speech. Then he waits for me to freak out. This speech is not your — Shonda Rhimes

Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. — Shonda Rhimes

The upside of culling people from my life is that my focus has become very clear. My vision has become razor sharp. I now work to see people, not as I'd rewrite them, but as they have written themselves. I see them for who they are. And for who I am with them. Because it's not merely about surrounding myself with people who treat me well. It's also about surrounding myself with people whose self-worth, self-respect and values inspire me to elevate my own behavior. — Shonda Rhimes

A hashtag is not helping. A hashtag is not a movement. A hashtag does not make you Dr King. A hashtag does not change anything. It's a hashtag. — Shonda Rhimes

Being traditional is not traditional anymore.
It's funny that we still think of if that way.
Normalize your lives, people.
You don't want a baby? Don't have one.
I don't want to get married? I won't.
You want to live alone? Enjoy it.
You want to love someone. Love someone.
Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than.
When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe that slate clean. And rewrite it. — Shonda Rhimes

We all think we're going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still. The expected's just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives. — Shonda Rhimes

I can talk about it. I want to talk about it. Because no matter how hard a conversation is, I know that on the other side of that difficult conversation lies peace. Knowledge. An answer is delivered. Character is revealed. Truces are formed. Misunderstandings are resolved. Freedom lies across the field of the difficult conversation. And the more difficult the conversation, the greater the freedom. When — Shonda Rhimes

I can experience life or I can give up on it. — Shonda Rhimes

If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more. - CRISTINA YANG, GREY'S ANATOMY — Shonda Rhimes

The goal is that everyone should get to turn on the TV and see someone who looks like them and loves like them. And just as important, everyone should turn on the TV and see someone who doesn't look like them and love like them. Because perhaps then they will learn from them. Perhaps then they will not isolate them. Marginalize them. Erase them. Perhaps they will even come to recognize themselves in them. Perhaps they will even learn to love them.

I think that when you turn on the television and you see love, from anyone, with anyone, to anyone - real love - a service has been done for you. Your heart has somehow been expanded, your mind has somehow grown. Your soul has been opened a little more. You've experienced something. The very idea that love exists, that it is possible, that one can have a "person". . . You are not alone.

Hate diminishes, love expands. — Shonda Rhimes

It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something but we can't be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they'll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we're willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we'll find ourselves exactly where we belong. — Shonda Rhimes

If I don't poke my head out of my shell and show people who I am, all anyone will ever think I am is my shell. — Shonda Rhimes

Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just do. So you think, "I wish I could travel." Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I'm serious. — Shonda Rhimes

My memory is ever-so-slowly being replaced by blank spaces. The details of my life are disappearing. The paintings are being stolen off the walls of my brain. It — Shonda Rhimes

I remember saying, very almost jokingly, I'm going to take over the world through television, that's my plan. And I said it to my agent, and I said it to my friends, and I said it to myself. — Shonda Rhimes

It's like surgery. You can't close the patient's chest until you've found the wound and operated on it. The problem is the open chest, the wound is the challenge and the YES is the operation. You — Shonda Rhimes

Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you're paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn't matter. You don't have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. — Shonda Rhimes

Staying at home with your children is an incredible choice to make. And it's awesome and admirable if you make it. Go you. Being a mother still happens if you don't stay at home with your kids. It still happens if you get a job and go to work. It happens if you are an Army Ranger and you're deployed overseas and your kid is staying with your parents. Still a mother. Still not a job. Working or staying home, one is still a mother. One is not better than the other. Both choices are worthy of the same amount of respect. — Shonda Rhimes

I am different. I am an original. And like everyone else, I am here to take up space in the universe. — Shonda Rhimes

Once I stopped expecting to like it, once I stopped demanding that losing weight be easy or pleasant, once I stopped waiting for the band to start playing, paying attention to what went into my mouth became tolerable. Because I wasn't waiting for it to get better. It's NEVER going to get better. It just . . . sucks. — Shonda Rhimes

Finally I want to say this: if you are a kid and you are out there and you are chubby and not so cute and nerdy and shy and invisible and in pain, whatever your race, whatever your gender, whatever your sexual orientation, I'm standing here to tell you: you are not alone.
Your tribe of people, they are out there in the world. Waiting for you. — Shonda Rhimes

Like every other mother on the planet, from the moment my first baby entered the house, I stopped getting real sleep. Motherhood means I'm always a little bit awake, a little bit alert at all times. One eye open. So — Shonda Rhimes

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing. — Shonda Rhimes

When someone says something petty or nasty, one of those little passive-aggressive things that would usually just pick at me for days, my new response is not to shut the door and bitch to anyone who will listen. Now? The moment they say it? "What did you mean by that?" I ask in a calm voice. It — Shonda Rhimes

You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn't have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring, and dreams are not real. Just . . . DO. — Shonda Rhimes

Whatever that spark is that makes each one of us alive and unique ... mine had gone. Stolen like paintings on the wall. The flickering flame responsible for lighting me up from the inside, making me glow; keeping me warm... my candle had been blown out. I was shut down. I was tired. I was afraid. Small. Quiet. — Shonda Rhimes

happy, whole people are drawn to happy, whole people, but nothing makes a toxic person more miserable and destructive than a happy, whole person. Unhappy people do not like it when a fellow unhappy person becomes happy. — Shonda Rhimes

Any actual parts of me, anything real, anything human, anything honest, I kept to myself. I was a very good girl. I did what everyone needed me to do. And — Shonda Rhimes

Wonder Woman is not faking it. Wonder Woman means it. Wonder Woman is all swagger and badassery. Compliment — Shonda Rhimes

The expected is what keeps us steady. It's the unexpected that changes our lives forever. — Shonda Rhimes

If I am not going to change, I have to move on. I can't waste precious time hovering in the "I wishes" and the "if onlys."
That is being a dreamer. Dreamers never say yes to anything.
I HAVE TO DO. — Shonda Rhimes

Ditch the dream and be a doer. — Shonda Rhimes

I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard.
Don't call me lucky.
Call me a badas. — Shonda Rhimes

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever. — Shonda Rhimes

Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life. — Shonda Rhimes

Remind me to start a revolution about that later. — Shonda Rhimes

We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and wildest hopes. But one thing is certain when it finally reveals itself. The future is never the way we imagined it — Shonda Rhimes

Who you are today . . . that's who you are. Be brave. Be amazing. Be worthy. And every single time you get the chance? Stand up in front of people. Let them see you. Speak. Be heard. Go ahead and have the dry mouth. Let your heart beat so, so fast. Watch everything move in slow motion. So what. You what? You pass out, you die, you poop? No. (And this is really the only lesson you'll ever need to know.) — Shonda Rhimes

Standing around like Wonder Woman in the morning can make people think you are more amazing at lunchtime. Crazy. But true. How awesome is that? — Shonda Rhimes

Being a mother is incredibly important. To the naysayers, I growl, do not diminish it by calling it a job. — Shonda Rhimes

When the press began asking me for interviews, I freaked out. My instinct is to hide. — Shonda Rhimes

I mean that I am going to miss Cristina Yang so much that my heart hurts. — Shonda Rhimes

I really don't think there's a world in which you can do anything with anybody. Because we're in the world of the White House, I think there are certain things you can do, and larger things that can happen, but I don't think you can do anything. — Shonda Rhimes

And so I exhale. You can see it. If you watch the video, you can see me exhale. You can see the very last instant, the very last moment, the very last breath of my fear. From that exhale forth, I am someone new. Someone comfortable. Someone unafraid. — Shonda Rhimes

Your body is yours. My body is mine. No one's body is up for comment. No matter how small, how large, how curvy, how flat. If you love you, then I love you. — Shonda Rhimes

So when you negate someone's compliment, you are telling them they are wrong. You're telling them they wasted their time. You are questioning their taste and judgment. You — Shonda Rhimes

This moment right here, me standing up here all brown with my boobs and my Thursday night of network television full of women of color, competitive women, strong women, women who own their bodies and whose lives revolve around their work instead of their men, women who are big dogs, that could only be happening right now. — Shonda Rhimes

Look, they're wearing light blue gauzy frozen superhero capes because I have told them that Anna is a junior superhero with a black sister and a gay brother- both of whom are off ruling other countries because, y'know, they have jobs. You do your mothering your way. I'll do my mothering mine . — Shonda Rhimes

I'm a black woman every day, and I'm not confused about that. I'm not worried about that. I don't need to have a discussion with you about how I feel as a black woman, because I don't feel disempowered as a black woman. — Shonda Rhimes

I never, ever pay attention to the ratings. I stopped paying attention to the ratings somewhere around season two or three of Grey's. It's something I have no control over, so I don't even pay attention. — Shonda Rhimes

Now, I'm no longer looking for the enemy. So I no longer see the enemy. — Shonda Rhimes

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need. — Shonda Rhimes

Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. — Shonda Rhimes

I think I'm most proud of the fact that I have figured out how to exist as both a creative person and artist, and a businesswoman and manager. Because those two things do not go together. — Shonda Rhimes

Cristina Yang was the walking validation of my dreams. — Shonda Rhimes

You are not alone. The goal is that everyone should get to turn on the TV and see someone who looks like them and loves like them. And just as important, everyone should turn on the TV and see someone who doesn't look like them and love like them. Because perhaps then they will learn from them. Perhaps then they will not isolate them. Marginalize them. Erase them. Perhaps they will even come to recognize themselves in them. Perhaps they will even learn to love them. — Shonda Rhimes

Saying 'no' has gotten me here...'here' sucks. Saying 'yes' might be my way to someplace better. If not a way to someplace better, at least a way to someplace different. — Shonda Rhimes

You never know the biggest day of your life is your biggest day, not until it's happening. You don't recognize the biggest day of your life, not until you're right in the middle of it. The day you commit to something or someone. The day you get your heart broken. The day you meet your soul mate. The day you realize there's not enough time because you wanna live forever. Those are the biggest days. The perfect days. — Shonda Rhimes

I'm a doer.
I do.
So. When I say I'm going to do something, I do it. When I say I'm going to do something, I really do it. I throw myself into it and I do. I do my ass off. I do right up to the finish line. No matter what.
No.
Matter.
What. — Shonda Rhimes

Badassery, I'm discovering, is a new level of confidence - in both yourself and those around you. — Shonda Rhimes

It is time to stop standing at the edges of rooms. Hugging the walls. Living in my head. Wishing I had something to say. — Shonda Rhimes

When you sit down to write every day, it becomes easier and easier to tap into that creative space inside your mind. — Shonda Rhimes

Don't apologize. Don't explain. Don't ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. — Shonda Rhimes

I don't know if anyone has noticed but I only ever write about one thing: being alone. The fear of being alone, the desire to not be alone, the attempts we make to find our person, to keep our person, to convince our person to not leave us alone, the joy of being with our person and thus no longer alone, the devastation of being left alone. The need to hear the words: You are not alone. — Shonda Rhimes

She's wonderful and soulful. She has a sly sense of humor. I've seen her deliver a funnier joke with a single silent raise of her eyebrow than many stand up comedians. She guards a very sensitive heart. Any human suffering brings her to tears. She's smart. Talk down to her and find yourself mentally slapped. She's an excellent judge of character, and seems to know an original spirit from a forgery every time. Cross boundaries with her...in any improper way and suffer the wrath of a lion. ... She's principled and firm. Rude behavior doesn't materialize in her presence. She's a grown-up who fully sees and knows children as citizens, and people, and souls. And because she respects children, all children seem to respect her. — Shonda Rhimes

Yes to everything scary.
Yes to everything that takes me out of my comfort zone.
Yes to everything that feels like it might be crazy.
Yes to everything that feels out of character.
Yes to everything that feels goofy.
Yes to everything.
Everything.
Say yes.
Yes.
Speak. Speak NOW.
"Yes," I say. "Yes — Shonda Rhimes

One. Word.
NO.
No is a powerful word. To me, it's the single most powerful word in the English language. Said clearly, strongly and with enough frequency and force, it can alter the course of history. — Shonda Rhimes

Marriage is a financial partnership. Marriage has nothing to do with love. Love is a choice we can make every day. — Shonda Rhimes

I don't understand why people don't understand that the world of TV should look like the world outside of TV. — Shonda Rhimes

I never wanted to have to look at myself in the mirror and say that I didn't try as hard as I could to make these shows work. That I didn't give 100 percent to leave a legacy for my daughters and for all the young women of color out there who wondered what was possible. It irritated me to my core that we live in an era of ignorance great enough that it was still necessary for me to be a role model, but that didn't change the fact that I was one. I — Shonda Rhimes

You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. — Shonda Rhimes

when you negate someone's compliment, you are telling them they are wrong. You're telling them they wasted their time. You are questioning their taste and judgment. You are insulting them. If someone wants to compliment you, let them. — Shonda Rhimes

Cheesecake will always taste like love. — Shonda Rhimes

I was 4 and dictating stories into a tape recorder, and my mom typed them up. — Shonda Rhimes