Shelley Berman Quotes & Sayings

I heard the other day of a man who paid a psychologist $50 to cure him of an inferiority complex - and later was fined $25 and costs for talking back to a traffic cop. — Shelley Berman

Incidentally, I'm still looking for acting work, my first love. — Shelley Berman

My whole act is confession. — Shelley Berman

Outside came in '60. The Edge in '61. All three made Gold, but the biggest seller was Inside. — Shelley Berman

I quit smoking well over twenty years ago. — Shelley Berman

Inside was the second LP album of a comedian's performance before an audience. — Shelley Berman

The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us. — Shelley Berman

I am careful with my material and presentation. — Shelley Berman

As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian. — Shelley Berman

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so. — Shelley Berman

The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance. — Shelley Berman

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them. — Shelley Berman

Unquestionably, standup comedy is and has always been an art form. — Shelley Berman

My first job was at a Chicago night club called Mr. Kelly's. — Shelley Berman

If you've never met a student from the University of Chicago, I'll describe him to you. If you give him a glass of water, he says, 'This is a glass of water. But is it a glass of water? And if it is a glass of water, why is it a glass of water?' And eventually he dies of thirst. — Shelley Berman

I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic. — Shelley Berman

I will always love to perform standup comedy. — Shelley Berman

Though it sold very well, I hated The Edge. — Shelley Berman

I was an actor before becoming a comedian. — Shelley Berman

A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business. — Shelley Berman

We teach reading, writing and math by [having students do] them. But we teach democracy by lecture. — Shelley Berman

So that this thing that aired in 1963 would result a few years later in personal bankruptcy, would result in having people be on edge with me, wondering when I'm going to blow up. — Shelley Berman

As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy. — Shelley Berman

While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun. — Shelley Berman

The most unusual salesman I ever met is a fellow who made a modest fortune purveying lightning rods. But he suddenly lost interest in his work. He got caught in a storm with a bunch of samples in his arms. — Shelley Berman