Scott Lynch Quotes & Sayings

I'm sorry," muttered Locke. "I was so keen to come to Tal fucking Verrar." "It's not your fault. We were both eager to hop in bed with the wench; it's just shit luck she turned out to have the clap. — Scott Lynch

I have always found the presumptions of others to be the best possible disguise - haven't you? — Scott Lynch

Hey," said Locke, scratching his stubble absently with his quill. "That sounds suspiciously like wisdom, damn your eyes. Why must you always flounce about being wiser than me?" "Doesn't require much conscious effort. — Scott Lynch

Oh, steal Jerome and go do your worst to him. I'll be judging your performance by how pissed Treganne is when we see her next. Hell, that's how I can amuse myself. I'll solicit wagers on how riled up you two can get the Scholar-"
"You do anything of the sort," said Delmastro, "and I'll chain you to an anchor by your precious bits and have you dragged over a reef."
"No, this is a good scheme," said Jean. "We could place our own bets with him, then rig the contest-"
"This ship has two anchors, Valora! — Scott Lynch

So, uh, just to be clear," said Calo, "none of us are going to be fighting Jean?" "Not unless you're inconceivably stupid. — Scott Lynch

The fact Locke didn't die instantly may be taken as proof that a human male can survive having every last warm drop of blood within his body rush instantly to the vicinity of his cheeks. — Scott Lynch

Those prancing little pants-wetters come here to learn the colorful and gentlemanly art of fencing, with its many sporting limitations and its proscriptions against dishonorable engagements. You on the other hand, you are going to learn how to kill men with a sword. — Scott Lynch

Well, cheer up. At least you've got more mobility than a fucking tadpole on dry land. — Scott Lynch

You are! There ain't no Thirteenth! Ain't naught but the Twelve, that's truth! Yeah, I been to Verrar a couple times, met up with lads and lasses — Scott Lynch

They were your very good friends. Because they're going to teach you that when you kill someone, there are consequences. It is one thing to kill in a duel, to kill in self-defense, to kill for vengeance. It is another thing entirely to kill simply because you are careless. Those deaths are going to hang over your head until you're so careful you make the saints of Perelandro weep. — Scott Lynch

Jean ... you are a greater friend than I ever could have imagined before I met you; I owe you my life too many times over to count. I would rather be dead myself than lose you. Not just because you're all I have left. — Scott Lynch

Papa's in a bad way, Locke. I wanted to see you before you saw him - he has some ... things he wishes to discuss with you. I want you to know that whatever he asks, I don't want you ... for my sake ... well, please, just agree. Please him, do you understand?"
"No garrista who loves life has ever tried to do otherwise. You think I'm inclined to walk in on a day like today and deliberately twist his breeches? If your father says 'bark like a dog' I say 'What breed, Your Honour? — Scott Lynch

Someday, Locke Lamora," he said, "someday, you're going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I'm still around to see it."
"Oh please," said Locke. "It'll never happen. — Scott Lynch

If you're going to live here, staying civil is as much a duty as sitting the steps or washing dishes. Now, while I bask in the glow of another moral sermon delivered with the precision of a master fencer, hold your applause and let's get back to last night. — Scott Lynch

Hard lessons were handed out. As many men learned to their sorrow, it's impossible to be intimidating when one angry woman has your cock between her teeth and another is holding a stiletto to your kidneys. — Scott Lynch

I require a vacation from all of you, but I'm not leaving Camorr. You five will be making a journey to Espara. I've arranged work there to keep you busy for several months."
"Espara?" said Locke.
"Yes. Isn't it exciting?" The room was quiet. "I thought that might be your response. Look, I tucked a pin into my jacket for this very moment."
Chains drew a silver pin from one of his lapels and tossed it into the air. It hit the floor with the faintest chiming clatter.
"One of those expressions I've always wanted to put to the test," said Chains. — Scott Lynch

You're the complication I want more than anything else. You're my favorite complication. No — Scott Lynch

We carry your precious misery with us like a holy fucking relic. — Scott Lynch

You needed a bath," Jean interrupted. "You were covered in self-pity. — Scott Lynch

Well, it certainly is nice to be free from the threat of that lamp, my boy." Chains drew a last breath of smoke, then rubbed his dwindling sheaf of tobacco out against the roof stones. "Was it informing for the duke? Plotting to murder us? — Scott Lynch

I sometimes think that 'friend' is just a word I use for all the people I haven't murdered yet. — Scott Lynch

If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. Chinese Proverb — Scott Lynch

I think it's fairly common for writers to be afflicted with two simultaneous yet contradictory delusions, the burning certainty that we're unique geniuses, and the constant fear that we're witless frauds who are speeding toward epic failure. — Scott Lynch

Crooked Warden, I will fear no darkness for the night is yours," muttered Locke, pointing the first two fingers of his left hand into the darkness. The Dagger of the Thirteenth, a thief's gesture against evil. "Your night is my cloak, my shield, my escape from those who hunt to feed the noose. I will fear no evil, for you have made the night my friend."
"Bless the Benefactor," said Jean, squeezing Locke's left forearm. "Peace and profit to his children. — Scott Lynch

Liquor does this? Even after you're sober?" "A cruel joke, isn't it? The gods put a price tag on everything, it seems. — Scott Lynch

Once a Big Lie was let out in the world, it seemed to grow on its own and needed little tending or worry to bend to the situation. — Scott Lynch

You're my favorite complication. — Scott Lynch

Calo bit the inside of his cheek, retuned his harp, and then began again:
"Said the reeve to the maid who was fresh to the farm
'Let me show you the beasts of the yard!'
Here's a cow that gives milk, and a pig that's for ham
Here's a cur and a goat and a lamb;
Here's a horse tall and proud, and a well-trained old hawk,
But the thing you should see is this excellent cock!"
"Where could you possibly have learned that?" shouted Chains. Calo broke up in a fit of giggles, but Galdo picked up the song with a deadpan expression on his face:
"Oh, some cocks rise early and some cocks stand tall,
But the cock now in question works hardest of all!
And they say hard's a virtue, in a cock's line of work
So what say you, lovely, will you give it a - — Scott Lynch

If you put Durant's brains in a thimble full of water they'd look like a ship lost in the middle of the sea. — Scott Lynch

When the sky's falling, I take shelter under bullshit. — Scott Lynch

Sad day, my loves, a proper tragedy. But when the milk's gone bad you might as well look forward to cheese, hmm? — Scott Lynch

[W]hen you find yourself face to face with one [Bondsmage], you bow and scrape and mind your 'sirs' and 'madams.'
...
'Nice bird, asshole,' said Locke. — Scott Lynch

Am I making myself clear, Orrin? I don't regret how I've lived these past few years. I move where I will. I set no appointments. I guard no borders. What landbound king has the freedom of a ship's captain? The Sea of Brass provides. When I need haste, it gives me winds. When I need gold, it gives me galleons." Thieves prosper, thought Locke. The rich remember. He made his decision, and gripped the rail to avoid shaking.
"Only gods-damned fools die for lines drawn on maps," said Zamira. "But nobody can draw lines around my ship. If they try, all I need to do to slip away is set more sail. — Scott Lynch

A voice called out, cold as chloroform and old shame. — Scott Lynch

We may need to ready ourselves to repel boarders." "With what? One stiletto and hurtful insinuations about their mothers? — Scott Lynch

Yeah, but if I don't start my nervous pacing now, I'll never have it all done in time. — Scott Lynch

You know who else thought lightly of them, once? The Falconer. — Scott Lynch

I don't have to fight or run," [Locke] cackled. "I changed the rules of the game. I just have to keep you here ... asshole.
Here ... until ... Jean gets back. — Scott Lynch

You know, Jean's slapped me out of a lot of moods like the one you're in right now." Locke took a long pull on his beer. "You're taking the world awfully personally. Didn't Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?" "The what?" "The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition." "What is it?" "He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular." "I'm just old enough to find that distressingly accurate. — Scott Lynch

At the sight of a Sanza brother offering cards, every guard in the room took a step back; some of them visibly struggled with the idea of raising their crossbows again. — Scott Lynch

Have you considered extreme, desperate measures like talking to her again?"
"Yeah, but, well ... "
"You've yeah-but your way to this point," said Jean. "You're going to yeah-but this mess until it's time to go home, and I don't doubt you'll yeah-but her out of your life. Quit circling at a distance. Go talk to her, for Preva's sake. — Scott Lynch

The functionaries in the courtyard of the Palace threw open their wooden shutters and settled in for a long day of saying "fuck off in the name of the duke" to all comers. — Scott Lynch

I'm a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners." "Overdressed for what?" said Jean. "Insulting complete strangers," said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. "Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he's a dumb motherfucker. — Scott Lynch

These are my cards on the table. I think you're beautiful. I feel like I'm an idiot with dirt on his face sitting next to someone out of a painting. I think...I think I'm just plain stupid for you. I know that's not exactly sweet talk out of a play. Frankly, I'd kiss your shadow. I'd kiss dirt that had your heel print on it. I like feeling this way. I don't give a damn what you or anyone else thinks...this is how it feels every time I look at you. — Scott Lynch

The next person who tells me something like, "Squiggle-fuck the rightwise cock-swatter with a starboard jib," is going to get a knife to the throat. — Scott Lynch

You're ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass. — Scott Lynch

I'm very pleased. Very, very pleased. But I really must ask - why the hell have men and women been throwing money in my kettle for the past half hour, telling me they're sorry for what happened in the Videnza?" "It's because they're sorry for what happened in the Videnza," said Galdo. — Scott Lynch

Run like the hounds of hell on a sinner's scent! — Scott Lynch

You've got that motherly concern in your eyes, Jean. I must look like I'm hammered as shit," said Locke.
"Actually you look like you were executed last week. — Scott Lynch

I more proudly take a speck from a man with empty pockets," said Sabetha, "than riches from a man whose purse stays heavy. — Scott Lynch

We go now," said Locke, "or I leave you here to die. Understanding is a luxury; you don't get to have it. Sorry. — Scott Lynch

It smelled something like a keg of bad beer overturned in a mortician's storage room on a hot summer's day. — Scott Lynch

Ibelius," said Jean. "If what Locke is doing were lurking about, corpses could be acrobats. — Scott Lynch

The familiar smells of a busy tavern at an hour closer to dawn than dinner. Sweat, scalded meat, puke, blood, smoke, and a dozen kinds of bad ale and wine: the bouquet of the civilized nightlife. — Scott Lynch

Know something? I'd lay even odds that between the people following us and the people hunting us, we've become this city's principle means of employment. Tal Verrar's entire economy is now based on fucking with us. — Scott Lynch

I desire you as deeply as I ever have, but I understand that the fervor of a desire is irrelevant to its justice. — Scott Lynch

If you mean the ease with which you drop coins when you're off a-cunting, you're right. You're a one-man charity ball for the whores of Camorr, you are — Scott Lynch

Didn't Chains tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?"
"The what?"
"The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition."
"What is it?"
"He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone's got a place in the queue, you can't get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that line is actually circular. — Scott Lynch

We don't see the life after life as it truly is, because in our eyes it conforms to our mechanics of nature. — Scott Lynch

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day. — Scott Lynch

To live the life the gods have given you, you must clutch wisely, then run. Run like the houds of hell on a sinner's scent! — Scott Lynch

Gods damn you, LOcke,'she whispered. The corners of her eyes glistened.
'Twice now? Look, uh, if I said the wrong thing
'
'No,' she said, wiping at her eyes, trying but failing to do so nonchalantly. 'No, the trouble is you said the right thing. — Scott Lynch

I'm not as reckless as I used to be. You know, when I was little. — Scott Lynch

If I could just somehow let you see yourself through my eyes. I guarantee your feet would never touch the ground again. — Scott Lynch

This is where you and I are headed ... Look for us in history books and you'll find us in the margins. Look for us in legends and you might just find us celebrated — Scott Lynch

I trust my points are noted ... Very noted ... Received, recognized, and duly considered with the utmost gravity. Sealed, notarized, and firmly imprinted upon my rational essence. — Scott Lynch

Mew, the kitten retorted, locking gazes with him. It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming. 'I was comfortable, and you dared to move,' those jade eyes said. 'For that you must die.' When it became apparent to the cat that its two or three pounds of mass were insufficient to break Locke's neck with one mighty snap, it put its paws on his shoulders and began sharing its drool-covered nose with his lips. He recoiled. — Scott Lynch

Their cold blue light shone through the silver curtains of river mist as streetlamps might glimmer through a smoke-grimed window — Scott Lynch

Why do you assume it's something you've done, and something you can undo at will? I'm not some arithmetic problem just waiting for you to show your work properly, Locke. Did — Scott Lynch

You bite on reflex, and then your conscience bites you. — Scott Lynch

Nah, if she's the rose, he can be her thorn." Calo snapped his fingers. "The Thorn of Camorr! Now, that's got some shine to it!"
"That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard," said Locke. — Scott Lynch

And you're the son of his youngest. He has no other children. Oh, your father's dead, by the way. Fell off a horse two years ago.'
'Good to know. — Scott Lynch

Excellent,' said one of the Sanzas. "Soon he'll be fat, and we can butcher him like all the others for a Penance Day roast."
"What my brother means to say," said the other twin, "is that all the others died of purely natural causes, and you have nothing to fear from us. Now have some more bread. — Scott Lynch

But you didn't die."
"Clever lad, to deduce that from such slender evidence after living with me for just three years. — Scott Lynch

It's easy to prescribe remedies for our own weaknesses when they're comfortably ensconced in other people. What — Scott Lynch

Son of a bitch," said Locke, "but I am displeased. It all comes down to clothes. Clothes, clothes, clothes. What a ridiculous thing to be restrained by. — Scott Lynch

One of the odder services the Villa Candessa provided for its long-term guests was its "likeness cakes" - little frosted simulacra fashioned after the guests by the inn's Camorr-trained pastry sculptor. On a silver tray beside the looking glass, a little sweetbread Locke (with raisin eyes and almond-butter blond hair) sat beside a rounder Jean with dark chocolate hair and beard. The baked Jean's legs were already missing. A few moments later, Jean was brushing the last buttery crumbs from the front of his coat. "Alas, poor Locke and Jean." "They died of consumption," said Locke. — Scott Lynch

The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games - " " - is Locke Lamora - — Scott Lynch

Got a ship with women and cats aboard, you'll have the finest luck you can hope — Scott Lynch

We're a different sort of thief here, Lamora. Deception and misdirection are our tools. We don't believe in hard work when a false face and a good line of bullshit can do so much more. — Scott Lynch

Don Lorenzo and 'Master Eccari' fenced pleasantries for a few moments thereafter; Galdo eventually let himself be skewered with the politest possible version of 'Thanks, but piss off. — Scott Lynch

Can't buy in for the last hand if you don't get there in time to take a chair. — Scott Lynch

Sure, kid. Look, there's a very old saying in my family: 'Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is another wizard fucking with you. — Scott Lynch

Come, then! Face Ravelle! The gods have sent your doom, motherfuckers! — Scott Lynch

My, you are in a sad state. You believe you've been poisoned?" "No," said Locke with a cough. "I fell down some fucking stairs. What's it look like? — Scott Lynch

You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit. — Scott Lynch

is, we have a duty to accept on faith, but also a duty to weigh and judge. Once you insist that some mundane thing was actually the miraculous hand of the gods, why not treat everything that way? When you start finding messages from the heavens in your breakfast sausages, you've thrown aside your responsibility to use your head. — Scott Lynch

The water caught the Falselight glimmer like layers of shifting, translucent mirrors and formed split-second works of art in the air, but men cursed it anyway, because it made their heads wet. — Scott Lynch

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks. — Scott Lynch

I mean, it's not calling me 'Locke.' It knows my real name. — Scott Lynch

It was raining when Amarelle Parathis went out just after sunset to find a drink, and there was strange magic in the rain. It came down in pale lavenders and coppers and reds, soft lines like liquid dusk that turned luminescent mist on the warm pavement. The air itself felt like champagne bubbles breaking against the skin. Over the dark shapes of distant rooftops, blue-white lightning blazed, and stuttering thunder chased it. — Scott Lynch

Until you finally lose the strength for sarcasm, Locke, I wouldn't hire any mourners. — Scott Lynch

What do you think of the old boy?" said Jean.
"He's got a strangely sunny view of ten years of defeat", said Locke, "but if I get killed in the next six weeks, I want him to speak at my funeral. — Scott Lynch

The sunrise sky was creeping over the edge of the city in orange-and-scarlet striations, and the clocks were or were not chiming seven. — Scott Lynch

Quit being so hard on yourself. We are what we are; we love what we love. We don't need to justify it to anyone ... not even to ourselves. — Scott Lynch

That's great, Jean. I'm not just exiled; I'm being plumped up for slaughter. — Scott Lynch

Stand aside, and try not to catch fire if I shed sparks of genius. — Scott Lynch

Woman, your heart is a mapless maze. Could I bottle confusion and drink it a thousand years, I could not confound myself so much as you do between waking and breakfast. You are grown so devious that serpents would applaud your passage, would the gods but give them hands. — Scott Lynch

Sloppy idiot," Sabetha muttered at last. "You're trying to be charming. Well, I do not choose to be charmed by you, Locke Lamora. — Scott Lynch

Can you imagine those poor bastards grappling their prey, leaping over the rails, swords in hand, screaming 'Your cats! Give us all your god-damned cats! — Scott Lynch