S.M. Koz Quotes & Sayings

That night I did it. I used a utility knife from our garage. It was amazing. For that brief moment, all the tension, anxiety, stress I put on myself disappeared. It went up in a cloud of smoke and my head was finally clear after months of endless internal battles. — S.M. Koz

How could a little nick control something I had no control over? It wasn't until he wiped it clean and applied a band-aid that the physical pain of the cut took hold, but I didn't even care. That was a minimal price to pay in order to lessen the internal pain. — S.M. Koz

The result was unreal. The most incredible feeling came over me. Weightlessness. Like the vise that engulfed me had evaporated. There was no more tightness. I could breathe freely. My head didn't hurt. My stomach didn't hurt. After a few moments, the only thing that hurt was the cut on my arm. I sat there and closed my eyes, reveling in the physical pain that was a hundred times easier to handle than what I had been dealing with. — S.M. Koz

My hand no longer trembled out of fear, but out of anticipation. I knew I was addicted to the rush it provided, to the release it provided from the emotional mess I had become, but I didn't care. It wasn't drugs. It was just a few cuts on my arm. — S.M. Koz

There was a brief moment of nothing, but when a ribbon of blood appeared, something I never expected happened. For the first time in five days, the constricting force around me lessened a bit. I took a deep breath. It wasn't as bad as usual. It was like the awful pain inside of me was seeping out through that tiny cut. — S.M. Koz