Ryan North Quotes & Sayings

Being hungover is like winning the lottery, only they pay you in regret. — Ryan North

Algebraic to the limit! — Ryan North

You can't just say what's going to happen ahead of time. That's not how physical law works. That's narrative. And when reality is twisted to fit narrative, that's not natural. That's someone making stories happen. — Ryan North

Maybe the best things are those that take the most work, you know? Maybe how you get somewhere can be at least as important as where you're going. — Ryan North

Chicks, man, am I right? They crazy," you say.
"Yes, what IS the deal with over half the human population of the planet? They're definitely all 100% insane," Horatio replies sarcastically. — Ryan North

Don't worry, it's very clear that the painting was done by a human, most likely a human with one eye removed and a feverent if incorrect understanding of design and anatomy. — Ryan North

It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster. — Ryan North

To answer your question as honestly as I can, I've wanted since I was very little to not have to worry about money. I've never been poverty-level poor (I mean, there's been years where I've been officially beneath the poverty line, but that wasn't poverty: that was being a student and living the Student Lifestyle), but I've been in a place where you know you can't afford a better-quality food, where you can't do certain things because of money, and I'd prefer not to have those problems if I can. I sort of have troubles with money in general, with how it determines so much of our lives but with how we all try to ignore it, but I would like to be (and stay) in a place where I can pick up some new comics and games and not worry about how much they cost.
This is terrible; you're asking me where I want to be in the future, what I want my life to be like, and the only thing I can tell you is Man, all I know is I don't want to be POOR. — Ryan North

We need to encourage our kids to express their feelings. We need to help them find their voice. — Ryan North

In fact, Saint Maxwell's received, and often accepted, applications from preschoolers slated to die criminal deaths. It was just a question of, well, the quality of the crime. You let in the cocaine overdoses; you kept out the crack overdoses. — Ryan North

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes. — Ryan North

This was a really amazing part of your adventure, Hamlet. You're sure that, should you ever one day write a book about this story or perhaps a stage production, you'd DEFINITELY include this scene. Why, you'd have to be literally crazy to write a story where you journey to England, get attacked by pirates - actual pirates! - but then just sum up that whole adventure in a single sentence. Hah! That'd be the worst. Who puts a pirate-attack scene in their story and doesn't show it to the audience? Hopefully nobody, that's who! Even from a purely structural viewpoint, you've got to give the audience something awesome to make up for all the introspection you've been doing; that just seems pretty obvious is all. — Ryan North

Obeying an unjust law is itself unjust. — Ryan North

We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE — Ryan North

I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences. — Ryan North

Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something. — Ryan North

The secret to writing sound effects is having a room you can be alone in, trying to make the sounds yourself, and seeing what comes out. It's similar to if you're writing a character talking with their mouth full: the only way I know to transcribe that is to stuff my fist in my mouth and write down what sounds I make when I try to talk. — Ryan North

Failure is just success rounded down. — Ryan North

I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights. — Ryan North

The machine captured that old sense of irony in death: you can know how it's going to happen, but you'll still be surprised when it does. — Ryan North

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again. — Ryan North

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons. — Ryan North

Might as well ask the once-popular Magic 8-Ball something. It got "Outlook not so good" right. I don't know if anyone ever asked it about Internet Explorer. — Ryan North

Dude, trouble's just an adventure you haven't finished yet!" - Jake the Dog — Ryan North

Progress! Progress through everybody dying and their kids eventually not caring who their parents hated! — Ryan North

I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized. — Ryan North

As they say, 'It's all downhill from cupcakes. — Ryan North

you know: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF HUGS IS THE ENTIRE REASON I EVER ENGAGE IN ANY NARRATIVE, FICTIONAL OR OTHERWISE?? — Ryan North

But giving up's easy. You know what's hard? To believe in your own worth, to know you've got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when you can't. — Ryan North

Hey, McFly!" Has Biff returned?? No! It turns out that Howard, George's neighbour, is there! And he wants to sell him Girl Scout cookies! — Ryan North

Wait... maybe the question isn't "How do I beat him?" Maybe the question in "Dude, why are we even fighting in the first place? — Ryan North