Pseudonymous Bosch Quotes & Sayings

Death is like an old dog. He always knows when you are at his door. — Pseudonymous Bosch

If I do find out the Secret,I won't be able to tell it to you-you know that right?And that doesn't mean I don't trust you.It's just because I can't.Sometimes even best friends have to keep secrets from each other.
-Cass — Pseudonymous Bosch

Happily, you don't know how to find me. If you did, I've no doubt, you would try to bribe me to finish the story. I know how you are. I know how I am, too. I am very susceptible to bribes. As you've probably noticed, I have no self-control whatsoever. I like chocolate best. But I also have a fondness for cheese. — Pseudonymous Bosch

The name of this book is mysterious. — Pseudonymous Bosch

I detest mediocrity. — Pseudonymous Bosch

The first expert said he had attention deficit disorder. The second expert said the first was out of order. One said he was autistic, another that he was artistic. One said he had Tourette's syndrome. One said he had Asperger's syndrome. And one said the problem was that his parents had Munchausen syndrome. Still another said all he needed was a good old-fashioned spanking. — Pseudonymous Bosch

One dictionary defines denouement as "a final part in which everything is made clear and no questions or surprises remain." By that definition, it is exactly the wrong word to describe this chapter. This chapter will make nothing clear; it will raise many questions; and it may even contain a surprise or two. But I say we call it the denouement anyway because the words sounds so sophisticated and French. — Pseudonymous Bosch

*Appendix usually means "small outgrowth from large intestine," but in this case it means "additional information accompanying main text." Or are those really the same things? Think carefully before you insult this book. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Only bad books have good endings.
If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Being an author, is being a dictator. (in a good way) — Pseudonymous Bosch

Before we do, I suggest you take a break. If you need to go to the bathroom, this is a good time. If you're sleepy, go to bed and save the next chapter for tomorrow. For the magician's story, you must have all your wits about you. No wandering minds allowed. — Pseudonymous Bosch

I HAVE A SECRET I CAN'T TELL NOR INK;
THOUGH IT HAS NO SCENT, IT DOES OFTEN STINK.
THOUGH IT MAKES NO SOUND, IT CAN MAKE YOU ROAR;
WHEN IT'S TASTELESS, I LIKE IT ALL THE MORE.
THOUGH IT HAS NO SHADE, IT LACKS NOT COLOR;
THOUGH IT HAS NO SHAPE, NO CAUSE FOR DOLOR.
IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE INCORRECT,
AND FROM YOU THE SECRET I WILL PROTECT.
THE SECRET OF LIFE IS NOT STONE NOR CENTS,
FOR THE SECRET SENSE IS BUT A NONSENSE. — Pseudonymous Bosch

This book will not harm you unless someone throws it at you which is a possibilty never to be discounted. — Pseudonymous Bosch

If this was a normal cover for a normal book,I would tell it's FANTASTIC!GRIPPING!
(according to all book covers they're fantastic and gripping) — Pseudonymous Bosch

No wandering minds allowed. — Pseudonymous Bosch

This new condition, this unwilled silence, had fallen over him ten days ago. The day Cass had gone into the hospital. The day she had fallen into a coma. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Sometimes when we are at our lowest points, we make the greatest discoveries. — Pseudonymous Bosch

USE COMMON SENSE. If somebody offers you a thousand dollars for this book, chances are their motives are not pure. Then again, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Take the money and run. — Pseudonymous Bosch

WARNING:
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE! — Pseudonymous Bosch

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Oh, talking is not so bad as that," said the Jester. "True, most people say only silly things when they speak. But it's easier to ignore them if you're saying silly things yourself. — Pseudonymous Bosch

But there were other, vaguer, harder-to-pin-down feelings, like: a pit in the stomach that means something is either really good or really bad or both. A feeling of being old and young at once. A sense of beginnings and endings happening at the same time. A certainty that your life is changing, but an uncertainty about how it's changing and whether you want it to. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Who needs to go somewhere when you can read about it. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Friends don't have to have a lot of things in common. But there's one thing friends usually do have in common - a sense of humor. That doesn't mean they find all the same things funny. Sometimes, they might even laugh at each other. But at the end of the day, friends can always laugh with each other. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Your problem, it is not here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's throat - 'it is here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's chest. 'My heart is heavy, too. But you must be strong. This situation, it is very serious. It is not only Cass's life that is at stake. If she dies, the Secret, it will die too. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Some secrets are meant to be known- but once known you can never forget them. — Pseudonymous Bosch

...books were better than travel. — Pseudonymous Bosch

I ate him," said the homunculus, biting into his sausage.
The kids couldn't hide their looks of horror.
He smiled, sausage juice running down his chin. "Oh, don't worry - I cooked him first. I'm not a barbarian. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Please be SILENT and LISTEN.
I am the SCHOOLMASTER
and you are in the CLASSROOM.
Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equals
TWELVE PLUS ONE,
And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN,
You will find my DICTIONARY
is quite INDICATORY.
If you want to read my story, just look ...
THEN UNREAD. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Better to cry wolf over and over than never to cry wolf at all. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Q: What is dark chocolate?" "A: Heaven on Earth — Pseudonymous Bosch

Veronica ran out to tell Amber the shocking news - and returned in less than a minute with another message for Yo-Yoji: "Amber says she was watching and she knows you got in detention on purpose," she said breathlessly. "Because you have a crush on Cass!"
Cass's ears instantly turned red.
Max-Ernest looked like he'd been hit by a truck. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Not all novelists are power-hungry madman. Some are power-hungry madwomen. — Pseudonymous Bosch

When I was younger, I loved graveyards. They weren't spooky so much as mysterious. Each tombstone another story to uncover. Another life to learn about.
Now that I'm older - I won't say how old - I hate graveyards. The only life - or rather death - I see in the tombstones is my own. — Pseudonymous Bosch

It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Why did so many grown-ups want to be young, she wondered, when it took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip then wanting to turn around without getting out of the car. — Pseudonymous Bosch

IN THE UNFORTUNATE EVENT THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF CORNERED BY A MEMBER OF THE MIDNIGHT SUN, PICK YOUR NOSE. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Whether it's chocolate or socks, the rule is the same; the darker the better. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems. — Pseudonymous Bosch

But remember what I said about forgetting what I said? — Pseudonymous Bosch

Despite my vanity, I fear for my sanity. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Never let a pickpocket bump into you if you can help it — Pseudonymous Bosch

Very little in this world makes sense. — Pseudonymous Bosch

You know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children.
All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale.
Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake. — Pseudonymous Bosch

Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now? — Pseudonymous Bosch

Truth is only stranger than fiction if you're a stranger to the truth. Which means you're either a liar or you're fictional. — Pseudonymous Bosch

The llama was wearing a bridle with a rope attached where you might expect to find reins. A greeting card was hanging from his neck:
'Hola Como se llama? Yo me llamo C. Llama.'
During his preschool years, Clay's favorite cartoon had featured a Spanish-speaking boy naturalist who was always saving animals with his girl cousin, and Clay still knew enough of the language to translate:
'Hello. How do you call yourself? I call myself Como C. Llama.'
The llama's name is What is your name? — Pseudonymous Bosch

Q: Why do you like chocolate so much?
A: The answer, clearly, is because I've tasted chocolate. — Pseudonymous Bosch

I detest mediocrity.

- Benjamin Blake — Pseudonymous Bosch