Peter Kay Quotes & Sayings

Old women with mobile phones look wrong. — Peter Kay

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. — Peter Kay

I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home! — Peter Kay

Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down — Peter Kay

It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. — Peter Kay

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Peter Kay

You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks? I swear now, you never get used to that. — Peter Kay

Garlic bread, it's the future, I've tasted it — Peter Kay

There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something. — Peter Kay

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. — Peter Kay

You never know where to look when eating a banana. — Peter Kay

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? — Peter Kay

I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house. — Peter Kay

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. — Peter Kay

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? — Peter Kay

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. — Peter Kay

The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. — Peter Kay

Is French kissing in France just called kissing? — Peter Kay

Some days you see lots of people on crutches. — Peter Kay

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? — Peter Kay

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. — Peter Kay