Paul Levine Quotes & Sayings

Cops and firemen are, without doubt, the horniest bastards on the planet. — Paul Levine

The people we've known the longest are often the people we know the least. — Paul Levine

She seemed to be one of those anti-gluten, pro-yoga, organic wine bar, Generation-Y echo boomers. — Paul Levine

If they're still sullen and whiny when they pass nineteen, they probably always will be. Another half century of bitching and moaning about bosses and wives and how the other guys got all the luck. Riggs. Charlie Riggs. — Paul Levine

What do you think it's worth, Lassiter, finding and returning the priceless heritage of a nation?" "How about a Boy Scout merit badge and a thank-you note from Yeltsin?" Above us, — Paul Levine

Women, I have long believed, are the more evolved of the species and have attained some higher level of being. — Paul Levine

Like a drowning man with a Styrofoam cooler. — Paul Levine

The bailiff tucked the jurors into their windowless room where they could surf for porn on their PDAs, and the judge turned to me. "Mr. Lassiter, Ah assume you got some legal mumbo jumbo for the record." His Honor came from a family of gentleman farmers in Homestead by way of Kentucky, and his voice rippled with bourbon and branch water. — Paul Levine

She had tried running away from her problems but now knew she would have to face them. — Paul Levine

I'm a grinder. I am not called to speak at fancy conventions in five-star hotels. The governor has not offered me black robes and elevated me to the bench. I am not interviewed by CNN to comment on the latest trial of the century. And I am not rich. — Paul Levine

Add that to love, Mr. Lassiter. That's what we all need. Love and loyalty. — Paul Levine

Hey, it's Florida. Toss a beach ball at me, I'll empty my .45 into you and be home in time for Jimmy Kimmel. — Paul Levine

In my experience, honest people don't need to put their hand on a Bible to tell the truth, and with dishonest people, it makes no difference. — Paul Levine

Straining to appear judicial, he turned toward the jury box. "The jurors shall disregard the last ... uh ... colloquy between the witness and defense counsel." Might as well ask the residents of Pompeii to ignore the volcano. — Paul Levine

All of us live with our own demons, do penance in our private ways. We need our friends for support and advice, but we draw our strength from within. — Paul Levine

A shark without teeth is just a mermaid. — Paul Levine

I've been ridiculed by silk-suited lawyers, jailed by ornery judges, and occasionally paid for services rendered. I never intended to be a hero, and I succeeded. — Paul Levine

If there is a more dispiriting place in Miami than the county jail, I haven't found it . . . and I've spent a lot of time at the morgue. Approaching the jail, you can hear the anguished shouts of inmates on the upper floors, yelling through the barred windows at their wives, girlfriends, and homies below. Inside, you've got that institutional smell, as if a harsh cleanser has been laced with urine. Buzzers blare and lights flash. Steel crashes against steel as doors bang shut with the finality of a coffin closing. — Paul Levine

When there's a dead body in the room, you never, ever answer cops' questions without your lawyer present. Which is to say, your lawyer answers the questions by saying, We have nothing to say at this time. — Paul Levine

Cited Riley versus California." "That's my girl! Cocounsel, I mean. Jeez, that case came down just in time! Unanimous. All nine justices. Cops need a warrant to search your cell phone. — Paul Levine

He pretended they were someone else's parents or recently released patients from a mental hospital who had arbitrarily chosen to root for him. Mainly, he figured they were a little goofy, but that was okay. — Paul Levine

I stood there, 220 pounds of ex-football player, ex-public defender, ex-a-lot-of-things, leaning against the faded walnut rail of the witness stand, home to a million sweaty palms. "To Speak for the Dead" (The Jake Lassiter Series) — Paul Levine

Shakespeare said only our bad deeds live after us," Victoria, the smart one, said. "The good is oft interred with their bones. — Paul Levine

Subtlety sometimes eludes me. Why not just hit the nail on the head? — Paul Levine

I could be wrong, but she seemed to be one of those anti-gluten, pro-yoga, organic wine bar, Generation-Y echo boomers. A Gwyneth Paltrow type who would name her first daughter Persimmon or whatever. — Paul Levine

Lately she'd been charting Bobby's moods like a meteorologist watching tropical storms. Something was bothering him, and he wasn't talking. — Paul Levine

Yogi Berra reportedly said, It's not the heat, it's the humility. — Paul Levine

In his dark suit, white shirt, and rep tie, he looked - and sounded - utterly professional. There was little chance he would make a mistake on direct or get tripped up on cross by a pettifogger, such as my own wily self. — Paul Levine

All life is three-to-one against, boychik, but you beat the odds. — Paul Levine

Modern life is one sweeping, cradle-to-grave invasion of privacy. An encroachment on our ever-narrowing space. Our footprints in the sand are a billion bytes on a thousand hard drives. Fodder for the snoop and the historian alike. — Paul Levine

Solomon's Laws
1. When the law doesn't work ... work the law. — Paul Levine

T-shirt with the saying I May Be Old, but I Got to See All the Cool Bands. — Paul Levine

I've never been disbarred, committed or convicted of moral turpitude, and the only time I was arrested, it was a case of mistaken identity ... I didn't know the guy I hit was a cop. — Paul Levine

I don't tweet or blog or order pizza with arugula on top. You won't find my mug on Facebook or Instagram. I don't have a life coach, an aroma therapist, or a manicurist, and I sure as hell don't do Pilates. — Paul Levine

The gods tempt us. They offer us riches and sweet smelling women, tres leches, each milk sweeter than the one before. But you cannot beat the gods. The grander house and the bigger deal only mean more borrowed time, more risk. When you build your life on a house of cards, you never know when the joker will turn up. — Paul Levine

I believe anybody with guts and brains who's willing to work hard can make it. — Paul Levine

With women, my wiring shorts out. My senses respond to the physical and the chemical, the scent and sheen of her. Evil could not possibly reside in the form of this angel. Or could it? Sure, I'm politically incorrect. I admit it; I confess; guilty as charged. I am, Your Honor, the lowest of the species, still wet from the swamp, webbed feet fossilized in the mud. I am a Man! — Paul Levine

At the prosecution table, Flagler gave me his Ivy League snicker. If I wanted, I could dangle him out the window by his ankles. But then, I was picking up penalties for late hits while he was singing tenor with the Whiffenpoofs. Okay, so I'm not Yale Law Review, but I'm proud of my diploma. University of Miami. Night division. Top half of the bottom third of my class. — Paul Levine

He said he didn't need a lawyer because he was innocent. I tried not to grimace, so I just ground my teeth. When you're innocent, you really need a lawyer because of police and prosecution foul-ups. To say nothing of the average citizen's tendency to get scared and confused when being questioned by cops. — Paul Levine

The retirees are gone from their plastic rockers on the front porches of the aging art-deco hotels. Hookers, dealers, pimps, chicken hawks, and runaways no longer stroll Ocean Drive, hustling their wares. The Yuppies have staked claims to South Beach, spiffing up the old buildings with turquoise and salmon paint, dressing themselves in bright, baggy cottons and silks, and hovering on the perimeter of perpetual trendiness. — Paul Levine

We keep looking for justice, but it's nothing but stormy nights and dark alleys out there. — Paul Levine

Wanda was one of the sighers and moaners, the omigod-I-never-dreamed-it-could-be-like-this-types. When she wasn't purring with cinematic sincerity, she was a warm and giving bedmate with the full complement of womanly slopes and curves and warm, tender places. Sometime around dawn, she told me I looked like Harrison Ford. Or was it Henry Ford? — Paul Levine

What brings you happiness?" "Mr. Cohen . . ." "Benny." "Benny, I don't really think much about it. I just go about my life day to day. Stuff happens. Some good. Some bad. I don't know what's at the end of the rainbow, or even if there is a rainbow. — Paul Levine

In the military, JAG lawyers switch sides. One day a prosecutor, the next day a defense lawyer. Maybe they should make civilian prosecutors do the same thing. Many are plagued with a disease I call emotional scurvy. Instead of lacking vitamin C, they've been shortchanged of empathy. — Paul Levine

We all hold the keys to our own jail cells. — Paul Levine

Always clear your mind after a bad play. Learn from your mistakes, but don't dwell on them. — Paul Levine

Sure. I've been involved with a couple women who should have been committed. — Paul Levine

A good lawyer is part con man, part priest
promising riches, threatening hell. My ethical rules are simple. I won't lie to the court or let a client do it. But I've never been in this position. How far would I go for a woman who mattered? Is there anything I wouldn't do to win? — Paul Levine

Omigod," Christine said. "Are you all right, Lateesha?" "Hell no, I broke a nail," she said, examining the pinky of her right hand. "How did you ... ?" Christine gestured toward the fallen man, who made no effort to get to his feet. "Oh, he's not too much. Didn't Bobby tell you?" "Tell me what?" "I'm a three-time national karate champion. — Paul Levine

Justice requires lawyers who are prepared, witnesses who tell the truth, judges who know the law, and jurors who stay awake. Justice is the North Star, the burning bush, the holy virgin. It cannot be bought, sold, or mass produced. It is intangible, ineffable, and invisible, but if you are to spend your life in its pursuit, it is best to believe it exists, and that you can attain it. — Paul Levine

Broiling Sunday afternoons in what I still call Joe Robbie Stadium. — Paul Levine

Beatles. "All you need is love, love. Love is all you need. — Paul Levine

T-shirt with the slogan Officer, I Swear to Drunk I'm Not God. — Paul Levine

Sometimes, Gerald, people break the law so clearly you can hear it crack like a tree branch snapped in two. But other times, like a baker twisting a roll of dough into a pretzel, you only bend the law. You don't tear it. You don't break it. You end up with something better than the ingredients you started with. And the final result is beautiful to behold. — Paul Levine

Solomon's Laws:
8. If a guy who's smart, handsome, and rich invites you and your girlfriend to a nudist club ... chances are he's got a giant shmeckel. — Paul Levine

Granny said. Only fellow my age I know still got lead in his pencil. — Paul Levine

Society's rules don't always work. They're limited by human frailty. — Paul Levine

I have a confession to make.
I hate voir dire.
I despise prying into other people's lives because I wouldn't want them prying into mine. — Paul Levine