Nina Hartley Quotes & Sayings

When I talk to Future Therapists of America, I tell them that what often drives people into treatment is the constant tension between what the organism naturally wants for pleasure and what they've been taught to think about those desires... They just feel guilty about what they think. And this is why I'm so careful about not misusing sexuality. Because I know how to manipulate a body and have infinite patience until it has a good time... If I were an evil person, I would find vulnerable people who are desperate for that kind of experience and give it to them. That would form an intense attachment. I would come across like a savior. And then I could mess with them...So I don't doubt for a moment that her abuser was able to get her body to respond even though she didn't want to be there. — Nina Hartley

When I was a stripper I realized that men and women are equally fucked over about sex but in such different areas, we're blind to the other's pain. So for certain kinds of guys, women are heartless bitches and cock teases and will bleed you dry before giving you a kiss. And for some women, men are asshole jerks who only want one thing. They'll love you and leave you. I don't see it that way. It's the culture keeping them equally ignorant and feeding them nonsense. And then saying, go of and get married! — Nina Hartley

It takes a certain skill set to be partnered. You have the biological knowledge of the machine. What are the parts, where are they located, how do they work, what do they do? Then there is your intellectual understanding about sex, in history, what you believe about sex, what you were taught about sex. Then there's you intrapersonal skill, your relationship with yourself. Then there are interpersonal skills. — Nina Hartley

Sex is my practice. It's where I always strive to be my best self. I try to be as honest as possible, as present as possible, as centered as possible, as kind as possible, as generous as possible without being a doormat. — Nina Hartley

I became a kinesthetic person because I always overintellectualize. And feelings, for me, are a concept. Feelings? Ah yes, I've heard of those. — Nina Hartley

You don't talk dirty to make him hot. You "talk dirty" to communicate what you need. And most guys, if you go, "Yeah, yeah, just like that, a little more to the left," they'll do it. — Nina Hartley