Michael K. Schaefer Quotes & Sayings

The shop was full to the brim with Earth antiques of all kinds. The knowledgeable connoisseur and the ignorant tourist alike could find within its walls everything from A to Z: from 600-year-old alarm clocks (it seemed about right that the human race wouldn't leave Earth without them) to a statue of a ferocious predator that used to be called a 'zebra'. — Michael K. Schaefer

As much as he loved Old Earth artefacts, it was tremendously frustrating at times to know that it wasn't possible to prove the original purpose of so many of them. Spotting an object he had puzzled over for the past two years, he stopped at its shelf, picked up the crumpled piece of plastic, and unfolded it until it had the approximate shape of a woman. She could be inflated by blowing air into an attached valve. Although he did have his suspicions as to what she was for (and he blushed even thinking about it - he described her as a 'portable statue of a surprised female' to potential customers), he still yearned to know whether he was right or not. — Michael K. Schaefer

Old Earth rotated slowly and majestically on its axis, reassuringly unperturbed by recent events. — Michael K. Schaefer

He felt like a dog that was about to be told that, yes, he was a good boy, but his balls had to come off anyway. — Michael K. Schaefer