Meredith Schorr Quotes & Sayings

The guys who played with your feelings were jerks, Jane. You deserve better than guys like them. At least you did deserve better until you decided to play their game. — Meredith Schorr

If this was the date from heaven and I decided to release slutty Stephanie, I didn't want clothes on my floor or an ungroomed vagina to be my cock block — Meredith Schorr

It occurred to me, while sitting on the cold white toilet seat pretending to pee in order to avoid Bob, that I much preferred having the power over the man and deciding when to cut the cord, over being powerless and on the receiving end of the silent fade-away. — Meredith Schorr

I hoped Claire would have a girl. A nephew would be fun until he got his first erection and then he'd be like the rest of them. — Meredith Schorr

At that moment, I hated dating more than doing my laundry — Meredith Schorr

There was a part of me that was so horny, I wanted to climb on top of Randall on the first date. But there was also a part of me that was so terrified, I wanted to go home, put on my feety pajamas and hibernate for the winter. — Meredith Schorr

don't put all your eggs in one bastard — Meredith Schorr

I truly believed Facebook was created by Satan as a way to turn completely sane people into obsessed stalkers. — Meredith Schorr

Once I checked my email, I would get lost in a book so I could feel the main character's pain instead of mine, laugh at her missteps rather than lament my own, and cheer for the happy ending that seemed to elude me. — Meredith Schorr

It was my decision to break up, but he didn't fight me on it. Would he have fought for Trish? And if so, was it because she was the right girl? Or was Trish simply the type of girl men fought for while I was the type of girl men left without looking back? — Meredith Schorr

I like books that make me laugh, not cry. — Meredith Schorr

I was a witch and like a witch, deserved to have a house fall on top of me while wearing my favorite shoes — Meredith Schorr

I would be the first to admit that I drew attention to my chest since, being so short, I need to give people a reason to look down far enough to see me. — Meredith Schorr