Matthew D. Lieberman Quotes & Sayings

The fact that mammalian crying serves as a cue for maternal support, rather than as a dinner bell, is a major evolutionary difference. — Matthew D. Lieberman

Psychologically, our reality derives from the stories we tell ourselves, at least the ones we believe. — Matthew D. Lieberman

Although I was deliberately dismissive of this idea at the beginning of the chapter, the real answer is, "Well, yes, sort of." Nathan DeWall, together with Naomi Eisenberger and other social rejection researchers, conducted a series of studies to test out the idea that over-the-counter painkillers would reduce social pain, not just physical pain. In the first study, they looked at two groups of people. Half of them took 1,000 milligrams a day of acetaminophen (that is, Tylenol), and half of them took equivalently sized placebo pills with no active substances in them. Both groups took their pills every day for three weeks. Each night, the participants answered questions by e-mail regarding the amount of social pain they had felt that day. By the ninth day of the study, the Tylenol group was reporting feeling less social pain than the placebo group. — Matthew D. Lieberman

If a stranger saying we are "dependable" activates the reward system, imagine what praise from a boss, a parent, or even an unaccomplished slightly older graduate student will do. Of course, we all know that praise is a good thing, as long as it isn't too unconditional, but until very recently, we had no idea that praise taps into the same reinforcement system in the brain that enables cheese to help rats learn to solve mazes. And positive social regard is a renewable resource. Rather than having less of something after using it, when we let others know we value them, both parties have more. — Matthew D. Lieberman

socially connected will be a lifelong need, like food and warmth. — Matthew D. Lieberman

It's hard to find meaning in what we do if at some level it doesn't help someone else or make someone happier. — Matthew D. Lieberman