Matt Groening Quotes & Sayings

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career. — Matt Groening

I think there is a certain charm to the hand drawn image that I like. My problem with CGI is that it's so rich in texture that my eyes actually get tired. Everything is in focus down to the littlest leaf. — Matt Groening

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor. — Matt Groening

I always say that 'Futurama' is real, and 'The Simpsons' is fiction. — Matt Groening

To alcohol! The cause of ... and solution to ... all of life's problems — Matt Groening

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all. — Matt Groening

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny. — Matt Groening

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay! — Matt Groening

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans. — Matt Groening

Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget. — Matt Groening

The thing about a cartoon is, you can do whatever you want. The tightrope that we are walking on 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' is 'How do you continue to surprise the audience, but make them good surprises?' Not every surprise is good, but you want to continue jolting people. — Matt Groening

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin. — Matt Groening

I know for a fact, obviously, because my kids grew up watching the show, that there are some things they are introduced to from 'The Simpsons', and then later in life they see the thing we're parodying. My kids had not seen 'Casablanca,' and we'd done parodies of 'Casablanca.' — Matt Groening

I'll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening

'Adult Swim' on the Cartoon Network is unbelievable. And 'South Park' continues to do great stuff. And 'Family Guy' and the various other Seth MacFarlane projects are amazing. — Matt Groening

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls. — Matt Groening

The really great thing about having two TV shows going on at the same time is that I can go to one and say that I have to go and visit the other, and then I can just go home, and they don't know. — Matt Groening

What I've noticed in a lot of other cartoonists is a sullen resentfulness about their lack of attention and tiny checking accounts. I vowed back in the days when I had no money that I would not allow that kind of bitterness to overtake me ... Cartooning, in general, is a very solitary occupation, and it breeds all sorts of self-punishing thinking — Matt Groening

I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case. — Matt Groening

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. — Matt Groening

Welcome to Suckersville, man. — Matt Groening

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees — Matt Groening

The best stories in our culture have some sort of subversiveness - Mark Twain, 'Catcher in the Rye.' You provide kids with great stories and teach them how to use the tools to make their own. — Matt Groening

I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor. — Matt Groening

The nice thing about 'Futurama' for me personally was that it was a way to honor some of the traditional ideas in literary science fiction, not so much movie or television science fiction - although we have that too, obviously. Our situation, a workplace comedy, led to all sorts of stuff. — Matt Groening

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways — Matt Groening

We have 'Doctor Who' references on 'Futurama,' but we have a lot of science fiction references that I don't get; but in the staff we have experts on 'Star Trek,' 'Star Wars,' 'Doctor Who' and 'Dungeons and Dragons.' — Matt Groening

When The Simpsons came around, there really was nothing else like it on TV. It's hard to imagine, but when Fox first took the plunge with it, it was considered controversial to put animation on prime time. — Matt Groening

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. — Matt Groening

I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice.. Forget it. — Matt Groening

The writers led by Mike Scully are fantastic. And they're creating original stories that not only don't repeat what we've already done, they also don't repeat anything I've seen on television. — Matt Groening

Don't have a cow, man. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy. — Matt Groening

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off! — Matt Groening

You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson) — Matt Groening

I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time. — Matt Groening

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again. — Matt Groening

I've conducted an experiment on my kids. Instead of denying them access to media, I've encouraged it. They read comic books, play Nintendo and watch way too much TV. — Matt Groening

Warning signs that lover is bored:
1. Passionless kisses
2. Frequent sighing
3. Moved, left no forwarding address. — Matt Groening

I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life. — Matt Groening

I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal. — Matt Groening

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. — Matt Groening

I like the 'Simpsons' pinball machines. Those are pretty great. — Matt Groening

Science fiction and comedy are generally a pretty bumpy mix. — Matt Groening

A lot of people believe that if everybody just did what they were told - obeyed - everything would be fine. But that's not what life is all about. That's not real. It's never going to happen. — Matt Groening

Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling 'Bart,' and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog. — Matt Groening

Living creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people. — Matt Groening

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day. — Matt Groening

Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to. — Matt Groening

My father was a really sharp cartoonist and filmmaker. He used to tape-record the family surreptitiously, either while we were driving around or at dinner, and in 1963 he and I made up a story about a brother and a sister, Lisa and Matt, having an adventure out in the woods with animals. — Matt Groening

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. — Matt Groening

'The Simpsons' from the very beginning was based on our memories of brash '60s sitcoms - you had a main title theme that was bombastic and grabbed your attention - and when you look at TV shows of the 1970s and '80s, things got very mild and toned down and ... obsequious. — Matt Groening

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!
(Homer Simpson) — Matt Groening

It's a funny show. The characters are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more. — Matt Groening

I loved literary science fiction. In fact, as a kid, when I was reading science fiction, I thought 'I can't wait for the future when the special effects are good' to represent what was in these books by Arthur C. Clarke, Alfred Bester, Philip K. Dick, J.G. Ballard, Jack Vance. — Matt Groening

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they? — Matt Groening

Painted on shirts went over so well I thought, why not painted on pants? Well, the big shot manager at Krusty Burger didn't agree! — Matt Groening

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism! — Matt Groening

A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things — Matt Groening

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. — Matt Groening

I thought I was going to make crazy cartoons for the rest of my life. I didn't think I'd ever get paid for it, didn't think I drew well enough, but I knew it made me happy. — Matt Groening

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight. — Matt Groening

With Charlie Brown, it was about loneliness and isolation. I always thought that the thing about Charlie Brown and those characters was the absence of the parents. Half the strip was about who wasn't there. The parents were never in the picture. — Matt Groening

I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists. — Matt Groening

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air. — Matt Groening

Oftentimes, what seems to be a street lunatic charging at me spouting gibberish turns out to be a devoted 'Simpsons' fan quoting their favorite line. — Matt Groening

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. — Matt Groening

Where do babies come from? Don't bother asking adults. They lie like pigs. However, diligent independent research and hours of playground consultation have yielded fruitful, if tentative, results. There are several theories. Near as we can figure out, it has something to do with acting ridiculous in the dark. We believe it is similar to dogs when they act peculiar and ride each other. This is called "making love". Careful study of popular song lyrics, advertising catch-lines, TV sitcoms, movies, and T-Shirt inscriptions offers us significant clues as to its nature. Apparently it makes grown-ups insipid and insane. Some graffiti was once observed that said "sex is good". All available evidence, however, points to the contrary. — Matt Groening

Since I was there in the very beginning, I know the history of the characters. So, I make comments about the tone and sometimes remind the writers that we've done that before. — Matt Groening

With 'Futurama,' I wanted to do unrequited love, and David Cohen agreed, and although our original plan was never to have Fry and Leela get together, we finally just said, 'You can only string the fans along so far.' — Matt Groening

I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I always thought that television was the way to go in my goal to invade pop culture because it got to towns in which there were no bookstores. That's how I used to think of it: How do I reach kids who not only don't read but probably have no access to much in the way of books? — Matt Groening

As astute followers of 'Life in Hell' will notice, Akbar and Jeff wear the same striped T-shirt as Charlie Brown. 'Peanuts' was very important to me. — Matt Groening

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain. — Matt Groening

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing. — Matt Groening

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons.
Mr. Burns — Matt Groening

Batman's a scientist. — Matt Groening

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

My life changed when I was able to not only get seated in nice restaurants, I was given free appetizers. That was like, "Oh, my God, I've arrived". — Matt Groening

I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium. — Matt Groening

Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.
Reverend Lovejoy — Matt Groening

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known ... then went crazy as a loon.
Lisa Simpson — Matt Groening

A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end. — Matt Groening

You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary. — Matt Groening

We've been running a little behind schedule. But only by about 15 years or so. — Matt Groening

I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success. — Matt Groening

Charles Schultz is a really interesting case. He wrote that comic strip and drew it himself from beginning to end, and it's a work of genius. It's very simply drawn, but it has some really deep emotions that you don't expect in a silly-looking comic strip. — Matt Groening

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done. — Matt Groening

You watched it! You can't unwatch it! — Matt Groening

The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell. — Matt Groening

[Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party.
[Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested. — Matt Groening

Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney. — Matt Groening

I had been drawing my weekly comic strip, 'Life in Hell,' for about five years when I got a call from Jim Brooks, who was developing 'The Tracey Ullman Show' for the brand-new Fox network. He wanted me to come in and pitch an idea for doing little cartoons on that show. — Matt Groening

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes. — Matt Groening

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. — Matt Groening

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! - Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt ... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. — Matt Groening