Martin Short Quotes & Sayings

my happiness was never predicated first and foremost upon my career. It's an outlook that has served me well. — Martin Short

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied. — Martin Short

I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It's always fun to defy expectations. — Martin Short

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life. — Martin Short

All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done. — Martin Short

everything from Hairspray to the Academy Awards. They were also my co-conspirators on my 2006 Broadway show, Fame — Martin Short

I'm totally aware of how lucky I am. I have health, family, children. I do work that gives me total joy and allows me to make a living, and maybe, if I'm lucky enough, I'll feel I've fulfilled a little bit of service to society because I brought other people some laughter. — Martin Short

What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime. — Martin Short

There was an era when people would turn on their radio and hear a radio drama. Now, you could be as scared by that as seeing it filmed. In those days, people used to sit by the fire and imagine what they were hearing. Everything is its own art form. — Martin Short

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It's very easy to get lulled. — Martin Short

We had season tickets to the Hamilton Tiger-Cats of the Canadian Football League, and, as only we Canadians can say, we had prime seats right on the fifty-five-yard line. And — Martin Short

Discipline is essential to life, whether you are administering or inflicting the spanking. — Martin Short

Henry, I know it seems unimaginable, but you are being empowered tonight," I told him. "You are being given something that is horrible, but is also a life lesson. This will make you stronger. This will make you more determined. You'll be in your office somewhere, someday, and some pompous asshole will say something to you. And you'll supposedly be upset, and you'll supposedly be fearful of your boss's reaction. But then you'll think, 'This is gravy. This is fine. I couldn't care less about this prick. I'm not upset now. I was upset the night my mother died. — Martin Short

This lesson is, I suppose, a major reason I wrote this book: because along the way I've picked up the wisdom that bad things happen, and yet the sun still comes up the next day, and it's up to you to carry on living your life and keeping your setbacks in perspective. You also have to understand that on some level, these horrible and sad things happen to everyone; the mark of a man is not just how he survives it all but also what wisdom he's gained from the experience. — Martin Short

Whether arrogantly or what, I view myself simply as an actor. — Martin Short

I'm Dhani Harrison," he said. "One of the last things my father told me was that if I ever come across people who were important to him, I should give them a hug. — Martin Short

Ill give you an idea of how Jewish Mel Brooks is: Thats a nose job. — Martin Short

Being the youngest of five, you're adored, you're fueled with confidence. — Martin Short

As I write this, I am sixty-four years old, with, I hope, many more years to live and lots more to do. And, by the way, no face work. I know you're thinking, "No kidding." But cosmetic surgery just doesn't work on a man. Were I to take the plunge, no one would ever say, "Whoa, who's that really hot thirty-eight-year-old dude?" They'd say, "Who's that sixty-four-year-old who's been in a fire?" Being — Martin Short

All you're trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room. — Martin Short

When you have to worry about paying the rent, you're never bored. You're just happy to have that job. But once you don't have to worry and reach the point where it's no longer about the money, you're able to look at other opportunities outside of your comfort zone. — Martin Short

An actor can spew out thoughts, but they're not all gold. — Martin Short

...something terrible can happen to you, and yet, the day after this something terrible, the sun still rises, and life goes on. And so must you. — Martin Short

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career. — Martin Short

If you have wonderful moments, don't second-guess them, just enjoy them. — Martin Short

You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, 'No'. — Martin Short

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny. — Martin Short

I still do live concerts all over the country - about four a month - with singing and characters and improv. It keeps me limber. I'll never lose that. And comedy is still the bread and butter. — Martin Short

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny. — Martin Short

Da problem with today's songwriters is, dey're just ripping off what I did years ago. "Send In da Clowns"? I wrote da same tune back in 1910 under the title "Send Up Some Towels. — Martin Short

I've never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that's the challenge. — Martin Short

I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace. — Martin Short

What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows. — Martin Short

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes. — Martin Short

I'm an actor who loves doing comedy. — Martin Short

One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife. — Martin Short

We arranged to spend the next day, a Sunday, looking at apartments together, followed by a round of tennis, since we both played. Before Nancy left the Pilot that night, I said to her lasciviously - I don't know what possessed me - "Have you ever tried a comedian before?" Which was either very sexy or very creepy, depending on your opinion of me. She just stared at me, betraying no emotion, and said, "I hope you have a racket. I'm pretty good." Our — Martin Short

To my beloved friends, there's simply no life without you guys. Thanks for the advice and the love and the billion dinners and laughs. Without you all . . . I'd look for new friends and get them. — Martin Short

My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized. — Martin Short

A few years ago, I won a Tony for Little Me and I learned two important lessons from that experience. 1. Fair-weather friends are so much more interesting to be around and 2. It's amazing what this award fetches on E-Bay. — Martin Short

I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about. — Martin Short

It's better to love a short ... — Martin Short

[Ed Grimley] lives in a retirement home in New Jersey. It's called the Retirement Home in New Jersey for Characters Who Were Interesting in the '80s for About an Hour. He's there with the Whiners, Gumby and Jon Lovitz's 'That's the ticket' guy. — Martin Short

I decided that, as a stand-up, I'd position myself as a cerebral, observational comic, making references to Camus and Kierkegaard. I wasn't so much concerned with getting laughs as I was with seeing audience members turn to each other at any given moment and say, "Exactly! — Martin Short

I think I've been really lucky to keep my career so varied, and to be open. There's safety in repetition, but there's also a trap there. — Martin Short

A musical is only as good as its director. The same can also be said for the CIA. — Martin Short

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears. — Martin Short

No one is any one thing. — Martin Short

You know, speaking from experience, I can tell you that there's no aphrodisiac more potent than Watergate-themed cabaret music. — Martin Short

People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue. — Martin Short

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit. — Martin Short

The thing you can always rely on, your core person, comes from your family's attention and love. — Martin Short

I've done lots of improv things but not a whole movie. — Martin Short