Martin E.P. Seligman Quotes & Sayings

The optimist believes that bad events have specific causes, while good events will enhance everything he does; the pessimist believes that bad events have universal causes and that good events are caused by specific factors. When — Martin E.P. Seligman

Try to reframe the provocation: Maybe he's having a rough day. There's no need to take it personally. Don't act like a jerk just because he is. He couldn't help it. This could be a testy situation, but easy does it. — Martin E.P. Seligman

When our grandparents failed, they had comfortable spiritual furniture to rest in. They had, for the most part, their relationship to God, their relationship to a nation they loved, their relationship to a community and a large extended family. Faith in God, community, nation, and the large extended family have all eroded in the last forty years, and the spiritual furniture that we used to sit in has become threadbare. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Above all, during the interval, change from "ego orientation" to "task orientation." Think: "I know this seems like a personal insult, but it is not. It is a challenge to be overcome that calls on skills I have. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Pessimistic labels lead to passivity, whereas optimistic ones lead to attempts to change. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Alcoholics are, in truth, failures, and their failure is a simple failure of will. They have made bad choices, and they continue to do so every day. By calling them victims of a disease, we magically shift the burden of the problem from choice and personal control, where it belongs, to an impersonal force - disease. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Third, you learn to make different explanations, called reattributions, and use them to dispute your automatic thoughts. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Anger, unlike fear or sadness, is a moral emotion. It is "righteous." It aims not only to end the current trespass but to repair any damage done. It also aims to prevent further trespass by disarming, imprisoning, emasculating, or killing the trespasser. — Martin E.P. Seligman

While you can't control your experiences, you can control your explanations. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Fifth, you learn to recognize and question the depression-sowing assumptions governing so much of what you do: — Martin E.P. Seligman

But out-of-hand anger ruins many lives. More, I believe, than schizophrenia, more than alcohol, more than AIDS. Maybe even more than depression. — Martin E.P. Seligman

The genius of evolution lies in the dynamic tension between optimism and pessimism continually correcting each other. — Martin E.P. Seligman

[R]aising children ... was about identifying and amplifying their strengths and virtues, and helping them find the niche where they can live these positive traits to the fullest. — Martin E.P. Seligman

At my parents' house, I recently found a 1950 black-and-white snapshot of a chubby bespectacled warrior holding a three-and-a-half-foot freshly killed rattlesnake. The boy's smile is ecstatic. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Second, you learn to dispute the automatic thoughts by marshaling contrary evidence. — Martin E.P. Seligman

The skills of becoming happy turn out to be almost entirely different from the skills of not being sad, not being anxious, or not being angry. — Martin E.P. Seligman

First, you learn to recognize the automatic thoughts flitting through your consciousness at the times you feel worst. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Exploders, people who have frequent outbursts of temper, also have more cancer than normal people. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Authentic happiness derives from raising the bar for yourself, not rating yourself against others. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Fourth, you learn how to distract yourself from depressing thoughts. — Martin E.P. Seligman

So anger helps us defend threatened territory - it is just, and it is honest. Not only that - it is healthy. It is widely believed that bottling up anger can kill us, slowly and in three different ways. — Martin E.P. Seligman

Practiced regularly (twice a day), relaxation or meditation prevents angry arousal. — Martin E.P. Seligman