Martha N. Beck Quotes & Sayings

Diana frowns. "You're taking me home, right? You just said you would." "Hoink hoink! Of course, piglet. But I meant your real home." "Which, last I checked," says Diana acidly, "is in Los Angeles, California, United States of America, solar system, planet Earth." "Hmm," says the boar, hiccupping dreamily. "That's what you think, darling. Tell me, can you say you've felt really at home at that address? Haven't you been homesick your whole life? — Martha N. Beck

The only thing scarier than telling my secrets would be keeping them. When the "sensitive information" you carry is your own history, going mute to protect the system doesn't keep you from being destroyed; it just means that you destroy yourself. — Martha N. Beck

Most people go through their whole lives," John went on, "and never have one miracle happen to them. You've had dozens and dozens, and you still want more! It's like God gives you a brownie, I mean a really good brownie, but you can't be content with it. You want the whole pan of brownies. Nobody gets that. — Martha N. Beck

Emotional discomfort, when accepted, rises, crests and falls in a series of waves. Each wave washes a part of us away and deposits treasures we never imagined. Out goes naivete, in comes wisdom; out goes anger, in comes discernment; out goes despair, in comes kindness. No one would call it easy, but the rhythm of emotional pain that we learn to tolerate is natural, constructive and expansive ... The pain leaves you healthier than it found you. — Martha N. Beck

In this chapter, we'll picture these rule-making and rule-breaking parts of you as humans. Tiny humans. We'll call them the Dictator and the Wild Child. — Martha N. Beck

It's been said that the entire philosophical foundation of Zen is contained in three small words: "Not always so." If you want to stop emotional eating (which means you'll eat only out of physical hunger, which means you'll eventually be the right weight for your body) you must become willing to apply those three words to your own beliefs. THE — Martha N. Beck

No matter where you are, no matter how small or pathetic you may feel, freeing your wayfinder's Imagination by embarking on an adventure turns you into some kind of crazy-strong electromagnet. Take out all the stops, drop into Wordless Oneness, laugh and play and love and dream beyond all reason, and miraculous things begin happening. Doors open. Paths appear. Team members you've never met find their way through time, space, and every other barrier to help you. You simply wait, Imagining, as the islands rise out of the sea to greet you. It's not necessary that you believe this. Imagining it is enough. HOW NOT TO IMAGINE — Martha N. Beck

All for all, always. — Martha N. Beck

And thus I learned that at Harvard, while knowing a great deal is the norm and knowing everything is the goal, appearing to know everything is an acceptable substitute. I pondered this great truth during the two-hour seminar. I was so buoyed up by it that I didn't pay enough attention to snorkeling up little bits of food in order to keep my nausea under control. I sailed right on into my next class, another seminar, confident that I could get through it without losing my lunch. — Martha N. Beck

The way that other people judge me is none of my business. — Martha N. Beck

My real feeling, the one I couldn't articulate yet, was that my entire life hinged on knowing that there were people who would continue to love me unconditionally, even if I were damaged, even if I were sick. Such love was the only thing that had sustained me during the turmoil of the past months. If I eliminated my child because of his disability, if I put him out of my life, I would be violating the only thing that was keeping me alive. — Martha N. Beck

The mirror image of suffering is the truth. Try it. Change the story. Change the course of your entire history. Right now."
"You want me to lie about my past?" Diana wipes tears from her face with the back of her hand.
"No, to tell the story a truer way," says Herself. "Any story can be told infinite ways, dear, but listen to me. Listen well. If a story liberates your soul, believe it. But if a story imprisons you, believe its mirror image. — Martha N. Beck

Career miracles happen when you're so in love with your life that pushing yourself is actually easier than stopping, when you "do without doing." Joyful activity adds real value to the world, and adding value is the heart and soul of a successful career. — Martha N. Beck

I only put down on paper what works for me, and since I started out as a human train wreck, the ways I've learned to be happy also work for others. — Martha N. Beck

Finally, Karen Gerdes is the gentle force that put me back together after the events of my life tore me apart, and the one that has kept me whole. Whenever I slip back into the world of shadows, she is the one who leads me back into the light. — Martha N. Beck

Menders of all times and places have taught that silencing the thoughts in our heads and opening to the experience of the body and emotions is the basis of all healing. It's the only means by which we can reclaim our true nature or feel the subtle cues telling us how to find our way through life. — Martha N. Beck

If you see failure as a monster stalking you, or one that has
already ruined your life, take another look. That monster can
become a benevolent teacher, opening your mind to successes
you cannot now imagine. — Martha N. Beck

You'll never be hurt as much by being open as you have been remaining closed. — Martha N. Beck

Adam has angels like a dog has fleas. He came here with them, and the more time you spend around him, the more likely you are to get them yourself. — Martha N. Beck

It reminds me that we are born innocent but ignorant, and that to remedy the second of these conditions we inevitably surrender the first. — Martha N. Beck

I remember reading about an NFL receiver who studies yoga so that his limber limbs won't be surprised when they're slammed into strange positions as he plays his full-contact sport. Well, in case you haven't noticed, life is a full-contact sport, at least for the soul. — Martha N. Beck

you've learned to align your consciousness with your inner Watcher and perch there, observing your physical and emotional feelings. Just one step remains in your contemplation training - the step that's most profoundly healing and most difficult for a person raised in the rationalist tradition. You must learn to watch any or all of your thoughts without believing them. This is a skill that allows you to break away from any psychological conditioning that predisposes you to weight gain. — Martha N. Beck

It comes from looking at the heart of things, from stopping to smell not only the roses but the bushes as well. It is a quality of attention to ordinary life that is so loving and intimate it is almost worship. — Martha N. Beck

Emotions are virtually always responses to thoughts. That's great news, because while it's impossible to control an emotion once a thought has triggered it, we can change our thoughts deliberately. We do this not by contradicting them, but by questioning them. EXPLANATION: — Martha N. Beck

people with weight issues often feel judged and attacked, partly because they spend so much time judging and attacking themselves. — Martha N. Beck

Paradoxes haunt the lives of born wayfinders, driving them to seek resolutions to the apparent contradictions in their lives, enticing them into the world that is beyond words and can therefore contain paradox without contradiction. — Martha N. Beck

Learning to let go of expectations is a ticket to peace. It allows us to ride over every crisis - small or large, brother-in-law or end-of-quarter office lockdown - like a beach ball on water. The next time a problem arises in your life, take a deep breath, let out a sigh, and replace the thought Oh no! with the thought Okay. — Martha N. Beck

You're blocking. — Martha N. Beck

If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing it badly. — Martha N. Beck

Cruelty, whether physical or emotional, isn't normal. It may signal what psychologists call the dark triad of psychopathic, narcissistic and Machiavellian personality disorders. One out of about every 25 individuals has an antisocial personality disorder. Their prognosis for recovery is zero, their potential for hurting you about 100 percent. So don't assume that a vicious person just had a difficult childhood or a terrible day; most people with awful childhoods end up being empathetic, and most people, even on their worst days, don't seek satisfaction by inflicting pain. When you witness evil, if only the tawdry evil of a conversational stiletto twist, use your ninjutsu, wait for a distraction, then disappear. — Martha N. Beck

you are the authority figure in your life. — Martha N. Beck

Every experience that's part of your best destiny is beautiful to your soul. — Martha N. Beck

Enlightenment always tastes of freedom. — Martha N. Beck

They needed someone to explain, to spin, the parts of the tale that couldn't be suppressed. Someone reputable and educated. Someone brilliant yet absolutely committed to the faith. Someone like my father. — Martha N. Beck

The poet Mary Oliver did this in one of her poems, brazenly asking, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" If you're afraid you've come to this question too late, you are wrong. Ask your Stargazer self. It will tell you what my fallen-noble friend Marianna told me in one of my darker hours: that the world is re-created in every instant of time, and this moment is always your life's beginning. No matter how many years have been stolen from you by your own ignorance, by cruel fate, or by the acts of others, you have a clean, broad slate before you. In this instant - this one now - you can begin steering by starlight, and if you do, the rest of creation will conspire to guide, teach, and help you. — Martha N. Beck

it becomes a problem when we mistake the stories in our minds for The Truth. — Martha N. Beck

HERE'S HOW MY OXFORD DICTIONARY DEFINES IT: "The spasmodic utterance, facial distortion, shaking of the sides, etc., which form the instinctive impression of mirth." To me this sounds like the array of symptoms caused by a lethal virus, but it's actually a description of one of the best things life has to offer: laughter. With certain exceptions, the Joy Diet requires you to do it at least thirty times a day. — Martha N. Beck

Occasionally, especially at celebratory times, the whole gang of us would launch into a spontaneous mental game. For example, my mother used to send me to the back porch (a room containing no furniture but a simply incredible mass of Stuff) to get flour for holiday cakes or pies. I often returned to the kitchen, cringing with disgust, to announce that the flour was full of worms. No matter how sick this made me, I knew it wuoldn't bother my mother. She always just sifted the worms out, saying that even if she missed a few and they got into the food, they would simply be an excellent source of protein. Just as we were all beginning to feel thoroughly downtrodden, my father would save the day. "Everyone come up with a literary reference about worms!" he would shout. — Martha N. Beck

It was the first time I had spoken to them directly. In doing so, I felt myself cross a fine but very distinct line, the line between speculating about the existence of a metaphysical plane of some sort and climbing aboard for the ride. I knew I had let go of my sanity. It was terrifying. I only did it because my fear of what was happening to my body had become greater than my fear of holding on to rational beliefs. — Martha N. Beck

Just like any civilized person, you've spent practically your whole life torturing an innocent wild creature. Starved it, then force-fed it, cut it, cursed it, driven it to exhaustion. Imprisoned it with other creatures who tormented it."
"What?" Diana shakes her head in miserable confusion. "I don't
even kill spiders! I never wanted to hurt anything."
"The innocent wild creature to which I refer, my darling, is you. — Martha N. Beck

Bad artists ignore the darkness of human existence. Good artists often get stuck there. Great artists embrace the full catastrophe of our condition and find beyond it an even deeper truth of peace, healing, and redemption. — Martha N. Beck

Imagine what you'd do if it absolutely didn't matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back. — Martha N. Beck

It is a frightening thing to love someone you know the world rejects. — Martha N. Beck

Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible. — Martha N. Beck

Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want. — Martha N. Beck

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. — Martha N. Beck

I felt a familiar tingle rush over and through my body, a slight electrical buzz that made the hair stand up on my nape and arms. I didn't hear or see anything, but suddenly my mind was filled with a thought that seemed to have come from somewhere both far beyond me and deep within me. I knew - I knew - that there was some infinite power whose relationship with me was being echoed by my relationship with Adam. It seemed to be telling me, without words but with perfect clarity, that my natural state was not hunger but fulfillment. More than that: this power yearned, longed, ached to nourish me, as intensely as I needed to feed my child. The only obstacle, for both Adam and me, was an impaired ability to receive. — Martha N. Beck

better person." I'm — Martha N. Beck

Change your thoughts, change your world. — Martha N. Beck

They decided to allow their baby to be born. What they did not realize is that they themselves were the ones who would be 'born,' infants in a new world where magic is commonplace, Harvard professors are the slow learners, and retarded babies are the master teachers. — Martha N. Beck

Have you ever felt your destiny unfolding, beloved? Have you experienced the intensity of the hunt, the fixation of attention that only fate can explain? Have you ever told yourself your feelings were
excessive, but known that something huge and pivotally important was carrying you along like a riptide? You can fight that current all you want; you know it will still have its way with you. Or you can
try swimming along with it, and grow amazed by your own power - until you pause and realize that you aren't moving but being moved. You're not in control, not at all, and that's what makes the feeling so
exquisitely exciting. — Martha N. Beck

We also believe thoughts like "I'm hungry" or "I need pie" even when they aren't true. We react to these inaccurate statements as though they were scientific fact. As — Martha N. Beck

The effect of emotional venting is to sustain an unsatisfactory status quo. Most people think the opposite, that complaining is part of an effort to change an unsatisfying situation. Nope. Complaining lets off pressure so that we neither explode with frustration nor feel compelled to take the often risky steps of openly opposing a difficult person or situation. Keeping emotional pressure tolerably low doesn't change problematic circumstances but rather perpetuates them. — Martha N. Beck

Now hold up your left palm (you may have to put down this book for a minute) and picture your Wild Child there: 2 inches tall, dressed in skins and bark, covered with scars, waiting for an opportunity to escape or subvert the Dictator's brutal control. Watch until you can see them both clearly in your mind's eye. — Martha N. Beck

Think through the well-meaning motivations of both your Dictator and your Wild Child, until you really understand that within their limited perspectives they're doing their very best. Then offer them both kindness. — Martha N. Beck

There's more God in one hurt child than in all the religions humans ever created. — Martha N. Beck

Research has shown that focusing on appreciation and gratitude has all kinds of positive health effects, lowering indicators of disease-causing stress and increasing the flow of healthy hormones in our bloodstreams. — Martha N. Beck

This is important stuff, so it's crucial not to get too serious, to realize that this is all fun and games. The attitude 'business is serious, it's not fun and games' leads to financial failure, and I won't tolerate it in my company. — Martha N. Beck

The urge to find the real facts is destructive only to people or systems (friendships, family dynamics, political dynasties) that are based on lies. The truth can scare you half to death, but it's never as destructive as deception. — Martha N. Beck

we don't just react to the world as it is. We react to the world as we think it is - the — Martha N. Beck

If nothing's working for you, if you feel as though you're pushing forward against the grain, the most productive and proactive thing you can do is nothing. Nature is turning you inward, to gain power through peace, rather than outward to gain power through activity. — Martha N. Beck

The secret of mastering creativity in any field is knowing how to work with metaphor without getting caught in language ... — Martha N. Beck

Refusing to feel desire is the only thing more painful than failing to get what you want, and that learning not to yearn, far from preventing disappointment, ultimately guarantees it. — Martha N. Beck

We divide the roles of mystic, doctor, therapist, artist, herbalist, naturalist, and storyteller into separate, often inimical professions. In most other societies, there was one word, one job assignment, for somebody who was all these things at once. — Martha N. Beck

You are consciousness dressed in form, my love. Consciousness is divine. Matter is divine. Creation is divine. Everything is divine. Are you somehow the only exception? — Martha N. Beck

A rule for success in today's wild new economic world is this: use the most innovative technologies to deliver the most primal products and services. — Martha N. Beck

This is it, I thought. This is the part of us that makes our brief, improbable little lives worth living: the ability to reach through our own isolation and find strength, and comfort, and warmth for and in each other. This is what human beings do. This is what we live for, the way horses live to run. — Martha N. Beck

If two people agree on everything, one of them is superfluous. — Martha N. Beck

He is constantly reminding me that real magic doesn't come from achieving the perfect appearance, from being Cinderella at the ball with both glass slippers and a killer hairstyle. The real magic is in the pumpkin, in the mice, in the moonlight; not beyond ordinary life, but within it. — Martha N. Beck

Now, while watching these two mini-you's, I want you to see that as dysfunctional as they may be, both of them are essentially good. The Dictator wants you to be healthy and beautiful. It gets frantic about your weight for the same reason you might freak out if you saw a beloved pet wandering into traffic. It screams and yells, pens you in or drags you around - anything to keep you from a horrible fat fate. On the other hand, the Wild Child is the part of you that evolved to avoid starvation and captivity. It panics when the Dictator berates, shames, and tries to control it. It knows the Dictator is planning to starve it. So it's not surprising that the instant the Dictator is weakened by stress, hunger, or environmental chaos, the Wild Child leaps into action and eats like a junkyard dog. — Martha N. Beck

Relinquishing the delusional hope that we can or must be flawless - allows us to seek happiness in the only place it can be found: our real, messy, imperfect experience. — Martha N. Beck

I am bewildering you a little. Just enough to help you forget what you came to believe, so that you can remember what you've always known. — Martha N. Beck

Nothing I do to describe these experiences can possibly convey the emotions that went with them. If there were a drug that could reproduce the same effect, I would be on that drug right now, and damn the side effects. Imagine a blend of all your favorite things: ice cream, sex, white sandy beaches, Beethoven's symphonies, all those happy times with your Garden-Weasel, the whole nine yards. Picture these experiences combined, boiled down into their most concentrated elements of pure joy, then multiplied by trillions and injected into every one of your cells. That might begin to help you imagine what I felt when the sense of Something Bigger emerged in the hurricane's eye of my life, surrounded by events that were otherwise completely devastating. The peace and joy were so dazzling, so potent, that I thought they would never fade. — Martha N. Beck

hold out your right hand, palm up. Imagine a 2-inch-tall version of yourself in a military uniform, with a whip in one hand and a gun in the other, stomping around in your palm, shrieking deeply personal insults and commanding you to lose weight. This is the Dictator. — Martha N. Beck

Try seeing your world and yourself this way, eyes open to whatever is before you, mind free of dichotomies. Are you good or bad, fragile or tough, wise or foolish? Yes. And so am I. — Martha N. Beck

close your eyes. Continue offering these good wishes while visualizing both the Wild Child and the Dictator until you genuinely mean it, until you can feel compassion toward both sides of yourself. When you get there, consider the following question. Who are you? The only reason you can "see" and offer kindness to both Dictator and the Wild Child is that you're not either one of them. You've moved into a third realm of consciousness, which resides, literally, in a different part of your brain. Call it the Watcher. — Martha N. Beck

We are supported by a universe that has no interest in hurting us, only in teaching us to dance — Martha N. Beck

Albert Camus wrote, In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. — Martha N. Beck

Laughter is the highest form of prayer. — Martha N. Beck

We all have our little sorrows ... and the littler you are, the larger the sorrow. — Martha N. Beck