Marshall Thornton Quotes & Sayings

Don't call me Daddy unless you mean it."
"How do you know I don't mean it?"
"Because your clothes are on and your ass isn't in the air. — Marshall Thornton

Getting fucked really isn't my thing."
"Well, thank you for faking it. You're a good actor. — Marshall Thornton

My heart beat fast, and I had a little trouble breathing. It felt like lust, but then again it might have been fear. — Marshall Thornton

In his sixties and partially deaf, Jimmy came from some vague Middle East country. Periodically, during the Iraq war, he had gone door to door in the building explaining that he was not a Muslim, which convinced everyone in the building he was. — Marshall Thornton

As he yanked the cushions off the sofa, the tube of Vaseline flew onto the floor. Both Carter and Martin stared at it for a moment, then Martin blushed, snatching it up. "I have dry skin. — Marshall Thornton

He wore his hair in a way that suggested he'd just rolled out of bed after thrashing all night. In an earlier decade, your friends would have told you,"Man, your hair's a mess. Go fix it."
Now they say,"Whoa, dude, cool do. — Marshall Thornton

You know, I've always thought that we don't have enough words for love. Or maybe it's that we don't use the words we have. For instance, infatuation. No one ever says, 'I'm so infatuated.' Which, if you think about it is the first stage of a relationship. Infatuation. — Marshall Thornton

I liked him I just didn't like complicated. And what could be more complicated that a priest? — Marshall Thornton

Or maybe I've just lost the taste for love. Love isn't always a good thing.
Sometimes it makes a mess of people' lives. — Marshall Thornton

You're an opportunistic little slut, that's what you are."
"That's not fair. I had no idea she'd give me your job."
"Oh, you just fucked her husband for the fun of it?"
"Have you seen his ass? — Marshall Thornton

I found an online knife store. I'd rather go and pick one up so that I had it today, but then I noticed they had a category called. California Legal. Apparently, I lived in a state that had really solid knife control-but still allowed you to own a machine gun. Logical. — Marshall Thornton

Sometimes the truth was like a band-aid in need to removal. — Marshall Thornton

These days Martin came across an increasing number of guys he wouldn't kick out of bed. As the years passed, out of necessity, his standards gradually lowered. — Marshall Thornton

I'm always careful," said Praline, and he was, though he had to admit it never made much difference. — Marshall Thornton

You don't know what you're missing."
I was thirty-four years old. I had a pretty good idea what I was missing. — Marshall Thornton

You don't really want to see the movie, do you?"
"I was enjoying it."
"You weren't paying any attention."
"That doesn't meant I wasn't enjoying myself. It's a comedy, right?"
"Sort of," he said. "The daughter gets cancer and dies. — Marshall Thornton

He doesn't think you're going to be faithful, does he? Not while he fucks his wife every weekend."
"He doesn't fuck her."
"Where did the children come from? — Marshall Thornton

I gave him a weak smile. The thing was, I don't like him, or, at least, not much, but he was young and didn't really understand you didn't need to like someone to fuck them. — Marshall Thornton

As a film was little more than a ninety-six minute search for a condom, I had to wonder why anyone thought it wise to spend almost eighty million dollars producing it. — Marshall Thornton

I like a man who comes prepared. (Nick) — Marshall Thornton

If there is a God, he's a son of a bitch. If he wanted to do us a favor he would have made raw carrots and bean sprouts as appealing as a fatty, fried sandwich and a Marlboro. — Marshall Thornton

Yeah, that's why I unbuckled my belt because I thought he could teach me about weights. — Marshall Thornton

A true homosexual would never turn down sex. The megapastor at his mama's church had given many a sermon about the immoral, wanton, and promiscuous behaviour of the gays. If the pastor had been wrong, well, Praline would be sorely disappointed. — Marshall Thornton

If sexuality was a choice, we'd all have very clear memories of the day we chose. — Marshall Thornton

He was a priest. Never try to fuck a priest. Even if they're talking about leaving the priesthood. That should be a rule somewhere. A former priest, maybe. And even then I don't know. The thing is, your big competition is God. And if God wants your boyfriend he's going to take him. Best to avoid the whole thing. — Marshall Thornton

So are you doing anything for your anniversary? I mean other than sitting around your backyard with a bottle of wine moping over lost love."

Since those were pretty much my plans, I said,"No. I'm going to hire a masseur, like you suggested."
After that, there was no turning back. — Marshall Thornton

It was on the tip of my tongue to say something snide, something that would hurt him, but somehow I couldn't. It would be like kicking Bambi in the teeth. — Marshall Thornton

These days you don't need a country to have a flag, you don't need to win an election to become president, and you don't need an enemy to have a war. — Marshall Thornton

I crossed my fingers. On both hands. Then my toes. I may have even crossed my eyes. — Marshall Thornton

My disappointment was comfortable, like a blanket. — Marshall Thornton

He didn't intend to pay for anything. He just had to remember not to offer. Not offering to pay for things made it easier to not actually pay for them. — Marshall Thornton

Killing someone, even a bad someone, didn't feel good. It wasn't like in the movies where you kill someone and then in the next scene, you're back to looking for the nuclear codes or searching for the kidnappers or back undercover trying to take down the evil drug lord. No, in real life you feel shitty about it for a long time. Still, I was beginning to think that feeling shitty might be better than feeling dead. — Marshall Thornton

So, we'll have a safe word, which you can use if it gets too intense," Warren explained."Okay?"
"All right," Praline said sceptically.
"What word do you want to use?"
Praline thought about it. He didn't want to choose anything that could easily be mistaken for "please keep doing that" so he said, "Supercalifragilisiticexpialidocious. — Marshall Thornton

Yes, he was still relatively inexperienced, but he did know that long discussions of politically incorrect pejoratives in the middle of a blowjob weren't exactly, well, stimulating. — Marshall Thornton

Well, if we're done insulting each other I guess we can leave. — Marshall Thornton

This was excitement, and desire, and pleasure. Nothing mattered while you were with a man. Nothing but the man, or men in this case.
This was freedom. This was forgetting. — Marshall Thornton

How was church?" I asked.
"I'm going to hell."
I shrugged like it was of no importance. "That's good. You'd be lonely in heaven without me. — Marshall Thornton

Carter thought the Universe was a lot like God, except that the Universe didn't have a book telling you how to be and who to hate. — Marshall Thornton

Nice people always make me want to do bad things. — Marshall Thornton

It's amazing how many people think a conversation is little more than reading their resume aloud. — Marshall Thornton

I stacked my plate with two blueberry muffins, three scoops of scrambled eggs, a half a pound of bacon, grits, sausage gravy, two waffles with a pint of syrup - and a side dish of fruit, because I like to eat healthy. — Marshall Thornton

My grief had become a thick scab; I picked at it from time to time, but mostly I left it alone. I didn't want to know what was underneath. — Marshall Thornton

Please don't tell Juan."
"I don't work for Juan, I work for you."
"Oh thank God."
"As long as no one assassinates you with their tongue I've done my job. — Marshall Thornton

I'm not as Catholic as I used to be. I find that I can't believe in a God who would punish anyone for the way he made them. A God who punishes is something mankind created as a way to hurt and control one another. God isn't like that. God is better than that, better than us. — Marshall Thornton

In fact, if more people had group sex the world would be a better place. Maybe there'd be less war and stuff. Okay, I knew I was high when that thought popped into my head. — Marshall Thornton

The good news is, he's trying to stop you, but he's not trying to kill you."
"Maybe I'll see that as good news tomorrow, but right now I'm a little too pissed off. — Marshall Thornton

Logically, he understood air travel was completely possible.
Emotionally, he found the idea of an enormous, tremendously heavy metal object filled with people propelling itself through the sky for thousands of miles completely improbable. — Marshall Thornton

Then, Jason looked up and asked, "Do you realized that there are more words for penis in English language then there are for love?"
"I did not know that," Praline replied.
"Can we discuss it later? — Marshall Thornton

She'd never tell a lie that didn't make her look good. — Marshall Thornton

Don't worry, I'll calm down by tonight when we go out. Provided you keep your clothes on all day and manage not to commit any felonies."
Praline mumbled a promise to do his best, though even he worried that it might not be possible. — Marshall Thornton

Everyone lies. They lie to the people they love; they lie to themselves. Once you admit it, it's not such a hard thing to live with. What is hard to live with is how far people will go to keep their lies alive. — Marshall Thornton

I don't remember what I was saying, but I remember thinking I was incredibly smart and wishing I could always speak that clearly and cleverly. — Marshall Thornton

They all think I'm a queer now."
"I can't say I disagree with them."
"I'm not. I'm not queer."
I shrugged. "Okay, I believe you. But you might want to tell that to your cock. — Marshall Thornton

That was the problem with most relationships, when they began you never know what they'd cost you. — Marshall Thornton

To be honest, it would be nice if love, and sex, and duty, and fidelity, all managed to happen at once, but for me they never seemed to line up. — Marshall Thornton

So, Carter, if you need to talk about anything, you know, about being gay. If there are things that you don't understand or things that confuse you, you can ask me. Anything. You can ask me anything."
Carter studied him for a moment and asked. "Who's your cell provider? — Marshall Thornton

I hate it when you talk to God. He always agrees with you. — Marshall Thornton

Immediately, Carter remembered one of the statistics they'd quoted at The Renewal Center. "The average homosexual male has five hundred sexual partners a year." He was sure that's what they'd said. It did seem like an awful lot, even to Carter who was almost always horny. It was 1.369 sexual encounters a day, which sounded like a lot of work just to be average. — Marshall Thornton

Buying a gun was out of the question. First, it would be difficult to keep nearby while doing a nude massage. — Marshall Thornton

Martin hesitated. This was a definite yes and no answer. Yes, gay guys picked up strangers on the street, for that matter sometimes so did lesbians. And certainly straight people did whether they'd admit it or not. Of course, straight people were encouraged not to pick up people on the street, while gays and lesbians were encouraged not to exist at all. But none of that was the point. — Marshall Thornton

That was a very short conversation in which Tony had managed to lie to me, threaten me, and flirt with me. That took a lot of skill. My guess was they'd be promoting him soon. — Marshall Thornton

I probably needed to say something, some spiritual version of "Get the fuck out."
And I had no idea what that might be. — Marshall Thornton

She looked like a real woman in a city of mannequins. — Marshall Thornton

Hey.How's it going?"
Martin always butched it up a little with his brother.
He tried to sound like a mechanic.
Why a mechanic?
Martin wasn't sure.
His own mechanic was gay, but he didn't sound gay.
Maybe that was what he was going for-gay but not gay. — Marshall Thornton

I'm gay."
"Oh. Of course." Immediately, Martin regretted saying "of course". He should have acted surprised. People are flattered if you act surprised when they come out, something Martin thought was stupid and vaguely homophobic but... — Marshall Thornton

I fell in love. Why can't I fall out of it?" He got a look on his face, which I knew meant he was making a mental note of that line too. — Marshall Thornton

He'd already identified me as a heathen, and I hoped he wouldn't try to change that. — Marshall Thornton

Politicians and low profiles rarely went together. — Marshall Thornton

Stop being sexy. We're in public. — Marshall Thornton

Kindness is the only real bravery. — Marshall Thornton

Hanson looked at me like I'd just claimed I could make a nuclear bomb out of laundry detergent, string, and a can of baked beans. — Marshall Thornton

They are so good they can get serial killers before they even get started. — Marshall Thornton

Having sex with friends seems like a very good idea until suddenly it doesn't. — Marshall Thornton

Well Okay" Carter said "so the the average homosexual has five hundred sex partners a year, but I've been here almost a week and you don't have sex with anybody. Is there something wrong with you? — Marshall Thornton

..and whatever you do stay away from cults. There are all sorts of nutty cults out in Lala Land. Crazy people believing in aliens and spaceships."
"Mama, you believe in aliens and spaceships."
"Yes, but I believe in Jesus, too. That makes it different. — Marshall Thornton

Didn't having AIDS mean everyone had to always be nice to you? Except someone like Pastor Randy who actually seemed to hate people with AIDS even more than he hated regular gay people. — Marshall Thornton

Two rows of five showers faced each other, so you could get a good look at as many as three different guys. For instance, today he saw three different guys all diligently scrubbing their penises into various states of erection. The one in the middle wore a thick metal cock ring, which shocked Martin. He did think you should at least pretend you came to the gym to workout. — Marshall Thornton

Martin would be fifty in four hundred and thirty-seven days, and that reality was beginning to wear on him, like Chinese water torture of coastal erosion. — Marshall Thornton

He's in the mafia, you know."

Jan frowned. "Not everyone who's Italian is in the mafia."

"That may be true in Italy-but here there are hardly enough Italians to run a mafia. They have to belong. — Marshall Thornton

I'm not sure I should tell you. Not while you're alive, at least. Some things are better left for after death." (Mac) — Marshall Thornton

You want to fuck me?" he asked.

"The thought crossed my mind," I replied honestly. — Marshall Thornton

It's depressing to be so depressed. — Marshall Thornton

The overnight bag was a little presumptuous. I mean, I was pretty sure that we'd be having sex, and I'm sure he was, too. But staying over.
Well, that was a little intimate, wasn't it? — Marshall Thornton

A virgin priest. His idea of what relationship with a man should be like was probably something out of a Harlequin romance-but with a sex change for the heroine. — Marshall Thornton

I may not be six four but I can certainly act six four. — Marshall Thornton

He remembered a film called How to Murder Your Wife, but Martin couldn't think of any movie called How to Murder Your Nephew. — Marshall Thornton

I suppose if I were looking for love in the eyes of every guy I fucked, I'd have been offended. — Marshall Thornton

Grieving is like being set afire. Except when you try to put out the flames they disappear; when you try to salve your wounds you find your skin unblemished. You take a breath, thinking the worst has passed, and then grief bursts into flame anew. It rages, it roars, it smolders, all at its own unfathomable whim. You can't shake it; you have no choice but to burn. — Marshall Thornton

N-O-W-A-C-K."
"No C."
"Oh. Okay. N-O-W-A-C. — Marshall Thornton

Some things were meaner if you said them calmly. — Marshall Thornton

I was staring down thirty-five in a few months. While I might have thought forty was old when I was her age, I'd since decided to move that particular goal post down the field to somewhere around sixty. And I reserved the right to make it even older if I survived the next ten years. — Marshall Thornton

One of the best ways to get promoted, besides sleeping with the right people, is to fail spectacularly. — Marshall Thornton

We went to bed at a normal time, and then I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of him fucking some guy!"

"Are you sure you're related? Can we get a DNA test? — Marshall Thornton

That was the problem with good friends. Eventually they knew enough about you to say terrible things for your own good. — Marshall Thornton

People do terrible things. You should never blame ideas. — Marshall Thornton

Not-Dave G. gave Praline a long stare, the kind of stare that telegraphed not just lust, but three or four possible sex acts. — Marshall Thornton

It was a bit dramatic. Even for me. — Marshall Thornton

How's your love life?" I asked.
"What love life? You keep ruining it."
That was the answer I was hoping for. I even hoped it was true. — Marshall Thornton

It's just that there were times when he liked to keep his masturbatory routine old school. — Marshall Thornton

Even though it was only the word 'like', it roughly followed the same rules as the other L word. — Marshall Thornton