Mamrie Hart Quotes & Sayings

I spent my days spread-eagle in front of a fan, with bright pink calamine lotion slathered all over my undercarriage. If you walked into my room, you'd think I was giving birth to a Pepto-Bismol baby. — Mamrie Hart

I inevitably felt like a fetus with eyeliner in comparison. — Mamrie Hart

We are always growing up. I'm growing up as I type this. An eighty-seven-year-old woman is still technically growing up. So be as immature as you want. Right now, you are the youngest you you're ever going to be. — Mamrie Hart

(On Panic Attacks) And once I had my first one with Maegan, they crept up about once a month. And without warning. It was worse than getting my period. In fact, I called it my exclamation point. — Mamrie Hart

Friends should be like a good bra, lifting you up. Bad friends are like sports bras. They can do wonders when you go out dancing or during high-energy times, but one a day-to-day basis they really just smush down some of your greatest assets. — Mamrie Hart

Sunsets are the photography equivalent of people telling you what they dreamt. — Mamrie Hart

The waterfall, while scary, would've released us. The panic attack will also release you. Just relax, and don't feel weird about being vocal about your feelings. ... Just breathe, And if possible, drink the nearest thing to you. — Mamrie Hart

That's the thing- with that summer and hard times in general, you've gotta take the salty with the sweet. It's always a balance. — Mamrie Hart

These days if I ate three bites of a Blizzard, that Blizzard would turn into a tornado of farts. — Mamrie Hart

Like every other tiny-ass town in the South, there were plenty of crappy Mexican restaurants to choose from. Not fancy Mexican like I eat in L.A. When I eat Mexican food in L.A., it's like a kale salad with pepitas and soy beef tacos with fresh pico de gallo. In NC, it's a five-dollar plate of cheese enchiladas with refried beans and a bowl of melted white cheese dip. Essentially you just walk in and ask for a plate of brown with a little iceberg lettuce, and it's fucking delish. — Mamrie Hart

I distinctly remember being a fifth-grader and lying in bed at three a.m. thinking, I am the only kid awake in the world. The insomnia feeds the anxiety, the anxiety feeds the insomnia, and my night would become a human centipede of sleeplessness. — Mamrie Hart

I like my fruitcake like I like my men. I like them to have tasty nuts, usually cum in a box, and last forever. — Mamrie Hart

Don't readjust your contacts. No, that is not the slow hyena from The Lion King. That is my four-pound best friend. — Mamrie Hart