Linda Tirado Quotes & Sayings

In my world, we don't have the time or the energy to bullshit about our feelings or worry about anyone else's. When I've found myself in professional situations, I'm driven nearly to distraction by how much fucking effort is wasted making sure we all feel nice and fuzzy and comfortable. I don't get that; it's not part of work to me. And it keeps me from getting ahead. If someone asks me my opinion on something, I simply give it. I don't bother spending five minutes talking about the weather and how lovely your shirt is first. I figure nobody's getting paid to win the office nice competition. — Linda Tirado

You grab a bit of connection wherever you can to survive. You have no idea how strong the pull to feel worthwhile is. It's more basic than food. You go to these people who make you feel lovely for an hour that one time, and that's all you get. You're probably not compatible with them for anything long term, but right this minute they can make you feel powerful and valuable. It does not matter what will happen in a month. Whatever happens in a month is probably going to be just about as indifferent as whatever happened today or last week. None of it matters. We don't plan long term because if we do we'll just get our hearts broken. It's best not to hope. You just take what you can get as you spot it. I am not asking for sympathy. I am just trying to explain, on a human level, how it is that people make what look from the outside like awful decisions. — Linda Tirado

I am not, for all my frustration, opposed to capitalism. Most Americans, poor ones included, aren't. We like the idea that anyone can succeed. What I am opposed to is the sort of capitalism that sucks the life out of a whole bunch of the citizenry and then demands that they do better with whatever they have left. If we could just agree that poor people are doing the necessary grunt work and that there is dignity in that too, we'd be able to make it less onerous. — Linda Tirado

[Y]ou should be aware that you have no legal right to take breaks in America. Go ahead, Google it. — Linda Tirado

have the solution to hungry children in America. Nobody wants to do it, but here goes: Fucking feed people. Cancel the programs where we pay farmers not to farm, and grow food. Buy it from them and use it in schools. Create real jobs. Fund SNAP. Stop calling it welfare and start calling it something that describes what it is: a subsidy like any other so that the people actually moving this huge wheel of capitalism can live decent, maybe basic but still pleasant lives. — Linda Tirado

We have decided to lock people up for social deviancy these days. We tell ourselves that we're not running debtors' prisons, that this isn't Dickensian — Linda Tirado

Friends of mine will swear that they never got demerits until after they upset management by lacking enthusiasm. (To be fair to Wal*Mart, my friends weren't actually let go because they wouldn't wiggle enough. They can't prove causation. It's just that they didn't start getting demerits until they stopped wiggling.) — Linda Tirado

Some people have the luxury of asking themselves whether a job fulfills their career hopes and ambitions. I've got my own metric to gauge the fabulosity of a job: Does that job require me to keep my boss informed of the inner workings of my gastrointestinal system, or am I allowed to go to the bathroom at will? — Linda Tirado

Telling an individual company to do better is a lot like telling an individual poor person to save more - true and helpful, but not so easy in practice. — Linda Tirado

The logic is that if you've got excess money and throw it away on booze and cigarettes, then that's your business. But if you're poor, then that's a sin and a shame. Because if you're poor, rich people assume you're on welfare, or you're getting food stamps or some other social services. Once you take a penny from the government, a morality clause goes into effect, where you're never allowed to have anything that you might actually enjoy. It's the hair shirt of welfare. — Linda Tirado

Living in low-income neighborhoods, I've seen sexual health campaigns aimed at slut-shaming us into celibacy. They talk about things like self-esteem and value and all the usual abstinence arguments. They assume that our bodies are a gift that we should bestow selectively on others, rather than the one thing that can never be anything but our own. Even if we do share it, it is ours irrevocably.
These are the bodies that hold the brains we're supposed to shut off all day at work, the same bodies that aren't important enough to heal. These are the bodies that come with the genitalia that we should be so protective of? I really don't understand the logic.
You can't tell us that our brains and labor and emotions are worth next to nothing and then expect us to get all full of intrinsic worth when it comes to our genitals. Either we're cheap or we're not.
Make up your fucking mind. — Linda Tirado

The reason that poor people wind up coping in ways that seem pointlessly self-destructive is that all the constructive stuff costs money. I — Linda Tirado

I think the sorts of people who honestly think that service workers should be more smiley and gracious just don't get it. They don't get it because they can take so much for granted in their own lives - things like respect, consideration, and basic fairness on the job. Benefits. Insurance. They're used to the luxury of choosing the most aesthetically pleasing item on the shelf, of caring what color their car is rather than simply whether it runs or not. They don't understand how depressing it is to be barely managing your life at any given moment of the day. So forgive me if I don't tell you to have a pleasant day with unfeigned enthusiasm when I hand you your fucking hamburger. You'll have to settle for the fake sort. — Linda Tirado

also get why people aren't beating down the doors of the polling places. For one, we can't keep track of whether we're supposed to bring a DNA sample or a urine sample this time to prove our identity and residency. It keeps changing. For another, the hours and polling locations in poorer neighborhoods keep getting cut for some reason. It is definitely not at all a conscious effort to repress the poor (read likely Democrat) vote. At all. Ever. (Dear GOP: You guys might want to police your people. They keep openly saying that your goal is to repress the vote of the poor.) Additionally, — Linda Tirado

I have trouble understanding why taking a few grand a year in food stamps is somehow magically different than taking trillions as a bailout. Food stamps cost $76.4 billion for 2013, compared with trillions, possibly hundreds of those, for the banks. — Linda Tirado

Your dogs do not belong in restaurants even if they are supercute. I swear to God, the number of tiny dogs I've seen in inappropriate places is at least ten times higher than the number of times I've gotten laid in my life. And, newsflash: Only service animals are allowed in restaurants. That's actually a public health concern. I don't get why you're allowed to decide you're completely above the law simply because you found a purse to fit your dog into. 3. — Linda Tirado

I was recently on a college campus and saw at least three kids passed out on benches or at tables. I was tempted to call campus security to report the scourge of people resting. It turns out that whether sleeping on a public bench is a crime or not depends entirely on whether you have enough money to look like you have a place to sleep. Another — Linda Tirado

We eat junk because it's cheap and it lights up the pleasure centers of our brain. And we do drugs because it's an effective way to feel good or escape something. — Linda Tirado

The question is, how can the rest of the country live knowing that so many of us have to live like this? — Linda Tirado

So let's stop saying that poor people are irresponsible parents and start admitting that society doesn't seem to believe that if you are poor you are entitled to be a parent at all. Given — Linda Tirado

Overconsumption is a concern for people who've made it to regular consumption. I — Linda Tirado

If you think poor people are entitled, try denying a rich person with an attitude some service they think they've earned. It's like grief - there are phases. Anger and denial are first. Then comes "do you understand how fucked you are if I don't get the thing I want?" Followed by "I demand to see your manager" and "I've never been treated so poorly in my life." The final stage is bargaining, where they try to give you extra money because all of life is like valet service to them, and an extra five bucks can change the world. If — Linda Tirado

I will never not be poor, so what does it matter if I don't pay a thing and a half this week instead of just one thing? It's not like the sacrifice will result in improved circumstances; the thing holding me back isn't that I blow five bucks at Wendy's. It's that now that I have proven that I am a Poor Person that is all that I am or ever will be. It is not worth it to me to live a bleak life devoid of small pleasures so that one day I can make a single large purchase. I will never have large pleasures to hold on to. There's a certain pull to live what bits of life you can while there's money in your pocket, because no matter how responsible you are you will be broke in three days anyway. When you never have enough money it ceases to have meaning. I imagine having a lot of it is the same thing. — Linda Tirado

[W]hen it's slow, they send you home, and when it's busy, they expect you to stay late. They also expect you to be able to come in to cover someone's shift if a co-worker gets sick at the last minute. Basically, they're expecting you to be available to work all the time. Scheduling is impossible. — Linda Tirado

I'm not preparing our kids for a gentle world, full of interesting and stimulating experiences. I'm getting them ready to keep their damn mouths shut while some idiot tells them what to do. I'm preparing them to keep a sense of self when they can't define themselves by their work because the likeliest scenario is that (unlike doctors and lawyers and bankers) they will not want to. I'm getting them ready to scrap and hustle and pursue happiness despite the struggle. I — Linda Tirado