Kristin Walker Quotes & Sayings

Nothing said Clothes to Wear When You Want to Impress a Guy You Initially Shot Down, But Now You Realise You Like Him and Want to Get Him Back. Where was the outfit for that? — Kristin Walker

You know, if you're going to stalk someone, you should be less obvious. For starters, try not to standing in the middle of a field, gawking at your prey. — Kristin Walker

I tensed up like someone had just given me a surprise rectal exam. — Kristin Walker

Lord love you," Ms. Eulalie said, "but you tell lies like Ms. Franny sings: hard to listen to and even harder to believe. — Kristin Walker

Not that anyone really knows what one is. And yet, people still find each other. It's a freaking miracle, when you think about it. — Kristin Walker

Rhythm? Not only do I have to defy gravity. I have to have rhythm while I do it? — Kristin Walker

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you just can't tell who you're going to end up with. You might spend your whole life dreaming about one type of person, only to find happiness with somebody completely different. Someone you figured you had nothing in common with just might turn out to be your dream guy. And you know he's your dream guy because you become a better person. He brings out all these great things in you that you never knew or believed were there. And if you're really lucky you do the same for him. It makes it even more incredible that people find each other, considering most of them are looking in the wrong places to begin with. — Kristin Walker

Johnny made me feel like I was clever without trying to be. And pretty. And valued. He made everything about me seem more special.
Like, say I was a song. Well, Johnny made me feel as though I'd been remixed. The melody didn't change, but it wasn't just the same one-dimensional sequence of notes anymore. Instead, he brought out all these harmonies - these low and high notes - that made the music fuller. No more discord or dissonance. Around Johnny, I was the best possible rendition of myself. — Kristin Walker

I couldn't exactly blame Jane Austen for being a romantic. What the hell else was there to do back then for fun? — Kristin Walker

I had started to sweat like a beauty queen at the last minute of a pregnancy test. — Kristin Walker

Marcie fancied herself an amateur therapist at times. I was her favorite patient. — Kristin Walker

Over the years, I'd learned that under the bed was the best place to keep anything I didn't want found, because there was so much crap - papers, magazines, dirty socks, grocery bags - that no one would ever suspect that anything of value was under there. Sort of like hiding in plain sight. — Kristin Walker

It's refreshing to see you using your psychology skills for evil as well as for good. — Kristin Walker

So he likes being mean to you. And you like that he likes bean mean to you.
And I like being mean to him too. — Kristin Walker

That's how you know if a friend is the best kind. If time and miles get between you, yet when you come back together, it's like you were never apart. — Kristin Walker

I gaped. "You are not seriously that chauvinistic?"
"Hmmm ... " He stroked his chin dramatically. "Maybe not in real life." Hillbilly again. "But as your fake husband ... yes, I think I am."
I eyed him up and down. "I need to call the Guinness Book of Records or Gray's Anatomy or something, because I am standing here looking at the single largest asshole ever known to man. — Kristin Walker

You can't tell who you're going to end up with. You might spend your whole life dreaming about one type of person, only to find happiness with somebody completely different. — Kristin Walker

According to Marcie's mom, only people with no class actually use the word class. If you have it, then you never talk about it."
"Oh". Johnny nodded slowly. "Just like herpes. — Kristin Walker

You're not gay, are you?
What?!
I mean you've never had a boyfriend. And you're not exactly ... girly.
I'm not gay. I'm just unpopular. — Kristin Walker

Your neck smells like cheese,' I said.
'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss. — Kristin Walker

It's not fair to spend so much time working towards something, only to have someone else's lapse in judgment, poor choice, one mistake, destroy it all. — Kristin Walker

Why had I ever cared about happy endings? Happy beginnings were so much better. — Kristin Walker

I hate dancing. I mean, I don't hate it. I just - I'm terrible. I'm totally into music, but I really can't dance."
Phew. Relief. "Yeah, you said that this morning. Neither can I." I hitched my thumb at the couples on the dance floor. "Not that I'd call that dancing."
"Heh. Yeah."
"Sometimes I wish I lived back when people had balls."
Oh God. That did not come out right. — Kristin Walker

I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.'
'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you. — Kristin Walker

You think it's easy to find someone? You think they'll just show up at your door and love you, and everything will be perfect and turn out like a fairy tale? Ha! Like that ever happens. — Kristin Walker

Now, I want you to look at each other. Really look. And then I'd like you to each say something positive about the other person." "Now Todd, you go first."
Todd eye balled me up and down."She appears to have all her teeth".
"OOh, good one,Todd," I cooed,then turned to maggie and smiled sweetly. " And Todd smells very little like a pile of goat crap. — Kristin Walker

All in all, he looked kind of ... dangerous. Like he could kick somebody's ass, big time, but with style. Like a suave, tough-guy super spy. — Kristin Walker

We were in such good moods, we even decided to hit Todd's house for candy. Sam rang the doorbell, and when it opened, this hideous, rubber monster face roared at us. Sam screamed. Todd started laughing and took off the mask. I yelled, "Put it back on! Put it back on! Your hideousness is terrifying!"
Todd did a fake yuk-yuk-yuk at my joke. "What are you guys supposed to be? Is it Prom Night Massacre or something?"
Sam sighed at Todd's obvious stupidity. "We're zombie princesses, Todd. Can't you tell?" She stuck her arms straight out in front of her and said, "BRAINS! BRAINS!"
I patted Sam on the head and said, "Sorry, Sam. You're wasting your time with this one. — Kristin Walker

Id done more apologizing in the past week than a politician with a crack pipe and a sex addiction. — Kristin Walker

Because from what I've seen of marriages and relationships, there aren't any rules. You deal with what comes, like anything else in life. There's no template. No freaking outline. And that's what makes relationships interesting, right? The element of surprise. — Kristin Walker

I'm serious, Mar, I don't know how to act around him now. I can't be nice, because he'll hate that. But I can't be mean just to be nice."
"You really need medication."
"I'm in a quandary. A Catch-22. I'm screwed. — Kristin Walker

It was seven-thirty. The dance started in half an hour. And I was buck-naked. Which probably would have made an interesting night, but the last time I'd checked I was neither a porn star nor a prostitute.
I'd already tried on every half-decent outfit, every quarter-decent outfit, even every limit-of-f-as-decent-approaches-zero-is-infinity outfit. — Kristin Walker

I couldn't help daydreaming that I was Elizabeth and Gabe was Mr. Darcy. fighting against his blossoming feelings for me. Discovering that his passion was beyond his control and finding me more and more desirable each time we met. — Kristin Walker

She set her hands neatly in her lap. "But you just said he liked you."
"No, I said he enjoys my company. That is, he enjoys hating me. Or pretending to hate me. I don't know which.
But I'm finding it difficult to completely dislike someone who gets pleasure from having me around ... "So he likes being mean to you," she said. "And you like that he likes being mean to you."
"And I like being mean to him, too, don't forget."
"Of course not. Pleasure from meanness. There's a name for it: sadomasochism. — Kristin Walker

Todd came toward me with the squad trailing behind him like a street gang of angry thugs with breasts. — Kristin Walker

Designer clothes, bubblegum pop music, celebrity heartthrobs - I couldn't give a fat rat's hairy ass. Just give me my hotdog and Jane Austen, and I'm good. — Kristin Walker

I jumped up and "casually" strolled a bit closer. I blinked my eyes in the sun. It couldn't be, could it? But it was.
Gabe.
...
"You know, if you're going to stalk someone, you should be less obvious."
I wheeled around. It was Todd. He'd snuck up on me.
He said, "For starters, try not to standing in the middle of a field, gawking at your prey."
I kicked at a dusty clump of grass. "Gawking? I ... I'm ... not gawking. I was just watching your girlfired putting the moves on someone else. Jealous?"
"Oh Gabe Webber?" Todd laughed. "Uh ... no."
I shielded my eyes from the sun. "Why? What's wrong with Gabe Webber?"
"Nothing. As in, there's nothing there. He has the personality of dry toast."
How dare he insult my Gabe? "Oh yes. I forgot. You prefer the company of assholes and jerks. As they say, 'Birds of a feather ... '"
"That must be why you hang around. — Kristin Walker

He isn't so bad."
"You're not fake-married to him. — Kristin Walker

Amanda doesn't hate you. She's jealous of you."
"What? Todd listen. Drugs are bad, buddy. You shouldn't do them first thing in the morning. Wait until after lunch at least. — Kristin Walker

So he likes being mean to you," she said. "And you like that he likes being mean to you."
"And I like being mean to him, too, don't forget."
"Of course not. Pleasure from meaness. There's a name for it: sadomasochism."
"Thanks a lot." I said. "That's just what I need. A mental picture of Todd Harding laced up in a black leather bodysuit with a whip in one hand and his wang in the other. — Kristin Walker

From now on, I was going to live my life, not wait for it. — Kristin Walker

And I'm sorry," Big Earrings said, "But how is some course going to teach them how marriage works? I've been married three times, and I haven't figured it out yet." She snorted. "I figured out how to call a lawyer, though. — Kristin Walker

Sorry, Maggie, but I'm not into bondage. Even the subconscious kind. — Kristin Walker

Around here news travels faster than mono, and by the end of the day, the whole school had heard about Todd's and my standoff with Principal Miller and Maggie Klein. By the time the story circulated and came back around to me, I had apparently bitch-slapped Maggie Klein and then tongued Todd in front of Principal Miller.
Oh, and Mom was a former showgirl in an all-gay revue. — Kristin Walker

She crashed. I think she was literally high on sugar.
Seriously I thought she was going to start free basing pixy stix. — Kristin Walker

RULES OF LYING:
1. Figure out your lie before you open your mouth.
2. Play on your opponent's sympathies and weaknesses
3. Dance around the lie with distracting truth. They're far more convincing.
4. Picture the lie in your head as if it were the truth. They want to see how it's coming up.
5. Never forget which is the lie and which is the truth.
6. If you say something that brings you trouble, pretend that was actually the lie. Lie and say you were joking before, and aren't you funny? It's a quick escape from a sticky situation. It's the liars trapdoor.
7. Avoid it if at all possible.
8. Keep up your poker face. Never have a "tell" or a physical gesture that will give yourself away and let your opponent know your bluffing. — Kristin Walker

You look at me but never see the love I feel for you. But in your eyes, I see the skies. The endlessness of time and blue. Like water that span the raging sea. And break upon the sandbar of your heart. — Kristin Walker

He said, "So ... do you like music?"
It was a pretty stupid question. I mean, who doesn't like music? Okay, maybe some puritanical zealot out in Hicksville.
But really. It was kind of like asking, "Do you like food?" "Isn't oxygen great?" "Have you got skin? I do." I knew what he meant, though. — Kristin Walker

So I wonder if true love is more subtle. If it sneaks up or stands there next to you, and you don't recognize that it's true love until you turn and look at tis thing that's been right there with you all along, and you realize that you never want to be without it. — Kristin Walker

If I was Todd's wife in real life, I'd have to kill myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I wouldn't kill myself. But I'd definitely turn lesbian, at the very least. — Kristin Walker

And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither a porn star or a prostitute. — Kristin Walker