Kelly Williams Brown Quotes & Sayings

People aren't good at processing important things when they're naked — Kelly Williams Brown

Jellyfish do not respond to reason, they usually don't respond to kindness, and they will always show up to ruin a fun party if possible. — Kelly Williams Brown

Step 6: Stop enjoying things ironically. Just enjoy them
Know what? I love Britney Spears and Forever 21. And I could pretend like it's this whole meta thing where I'm not actually enjoying it but rather just making this esoteric statement on lowbrow culture, but (insert handjob motion here).
The truth is that I love trashy dance pop and the garments that are its clothing equivalent. You don't need to make your tastes a self-conscious statement about who you are. Just unapologetically like the things you like. — Kelly Williams Brown

If we were all our most real and raw selves every moment of the day things would be just awful. The world would be full of man-size toddlers. — Kelly Williams Brown

Natural consequences is actually a parenting concept, but one I use on myself, because sometimes my ability to thoughtfully reflect on a difficult situation is in line with a four-year-old's. — Kelly Williams Brown

But it has perks -- personal pride, financial security, and the feeling of accomplishment and control that comes when you just swap in a new toilet paper roll rather than resorting to fast-food napkins. — Kelly Williams Brown

Here is what I'm trying to tell you: Adult isn't a noun, it's a verb. It's the act of making correctly those small decisions that fill our day. It is one that you can practice, and that can be done in concrete steps. And if you slip up and have Diet Coke for breakfast, no one busts in and snatches away your Adult card. Just move forward and have milk tomorrow. — Kelly Williams Brown

Remember that there was at least one person who thought Einstein was a colossal dick. — Kelly Williams Brown

When you begin at the beginning, any progress you make is yours. — Kelly Williams Brown

Intentions are nice, but ultimately intentions don't really matter because they only exist inside you. — Kelly Williams Brown

It is hard to convince people of this, but oatmeal truly is miraculous. It gives you an amazing amount of energy, like cocaine. — Kelly Williams Brown

But the fact is people who always have at least a quarter tank of gas and refill the tank as soon as it dips below that line will never run out of gas on a backwoods mountain road and have to be rescued by a kindhearted trucker. Or murdered by a non-kindhearted trucker. — Kelly Williams Brown

If you wouldn't show or tell your mom, boss, and ex-boyfriend, then don't put it on Facebook. — Kelly Williams Brown

Your parents, presumably, love you very much and think you are perhaps the most adorable, talented thing ever to prance upon this earth. Your friends agree with them, as do your favorite teachers, as does your significant other. When there is a You Parade, these people will be the flag bearers, the drum majors and majorettes, so make sure you are always flag bearing and drum majoring for them, too. These people who think so highly of us are very special and precious, and we must treasure them. Because here is the truth: Most of the world doesn't give a flying fuck about you. — Kelly Williams Brown

Wise random strangers at bars are modern-day Oracles of Delphi, except drunk and sometimes leaving abruptly when it's their turn for karaoke. — Kelly Williams Brown

A big part of being a well-adjusted person is accepting that you can't be good at everything. — Kelly Williams Brown

You're a grown-up, and you get to decide what behaviors affect you for five minutes versus what behaviors change you as a person. — Kelly Williams Brown

People will come to care about you, but only if you give them a valid reason. Don't assume they'll give you love like your parents, emotional support like your best friend, and cheerful feedback like a soccer coach for seven-year-olds. Because they won't, unless you give them good reason to. And even then, they still probably won't. — Kelly Williams Brown

Some people have blond hair. Some people are really good at baseball. Some people find nothing more pleasurable than organizing a drawer full of buttons. Some people are assholes. This is the human spectrum. — Kelly Williams Brown

Imagine rude people as jellyfish — Kelly Williams Brown

It's not as though the world hates you- it just has no idea who you are — Kelly Williams Brown

Or you graduate law school with glorious visions of the important work you'll do for the Southern Poverty Law Center, but find yourself photocopying briefs in Shreveport. — Kelly Williams Brown

This is the most difficult and important thing to accept if you wish to be a grown-up: You are not a Special Snowflake. — Kelly Williams Brown

Be the kind of friend that you want to have.
This is what it all boils down to. Listen when they bitch. Tell them they'll be okay. Go over and check in on their cat when they're on vacation. Call them on their birthday, or better yet bake a cake in the shape of their initial. Keep their secrets. Treat them like what they are
the rare person in this world who gives a fuck about you not because they have to, but because they want to. Give a fuck about them. — Kelly Williams Brown

Remember that, for better or for worse, you are in control of your physical self and surroundings — Kelly Williams Brown

Pay attention to natural consequences, then learn to anticipate them — Kelly Williams Brown

One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas? — Kelly Williams Brown

Meaning to send a thank-you note but then not doing it is exactly the same as never thinking to send one
that person is still receiving zero thank you notes. — Kelly Williams Brown

A slightly modified version of the Serenity Prayer: Lord, grant me the serenity to ignore the assholes I cannot avoid; The luck to avoid the ones I can; And the self-awareness not to be one myself — Kelly Williams Brown

If it's making a galloping noise, it's probably a horse, not a zebra. — Kelly Williams Brown

Step 17: Get used to giving more than you get.
A natural transition, as we go from being kids to adults, is to go from being self-oriented to other-oriented. When we're little, all this love flows to us, and none is expected back. That ratio has now changed, and if you don't acknowledge it, you will not be a pleasant person to be around. — Kelly Williams Brown

You are already way more of an adult than you think you are. Truly. Be good, be decent, be responsible, be kind. And don't forget to send thank-you notes. — Kelly Williams Brown

Like heartbreak, these unpredictable crises are not something you should live in fear of. Perpetual fear won't protect you. Fear is not a citronella candle; scary life happenings are not mosquitoes. They happen in ways we can't predict, control or understand. The only guaranteed outcome of feeling scared all the time is that you will feel scared all the time. — Kelly Williams Brown