Katt Williams Quotes & Sayings

I'm a grown man. I do whatever I feel like doing with my hair. And if for some reason you feel like there's a magnet and you should have something to say to me, then more power to you. I hope you're prepared. — Katt Williams

Hello? ... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven ... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out. — Katt Williams

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big. — Katt Williams

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us! — Katt Williams

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait ... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime. — Katt Williams

Did you know that I can see you? — Katt Williams

Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don't change your perception on whats important in your life. — Katt Williams

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure. — Katt Williams

You can't even go to Heaven if you get killed by Spinach, you can't even go. You don't even know what to tell Jesus. You Just 'You know what Jesus, I did have a salad, I really Did I- I Didn't know what I was thinking about. — Katt Williams

All comedy comes from a dark place. — Katt Williams

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car. — Katt Williams

There's only winning and losing, and in our society, as in all societies, there's the person that's doing the winning, or there's the person that's facilitating the winning. — Katt Williams

America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait. — Katt Williams

The past is something for you to learn from and the future is something that you hope is going to happen, but I'm always speaking to my actual fans in present tense. — Katt Williams

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache. — Katt Williams

He comes back with the script, and it's racist like a 1940's Newspaper. — Katt Williams

My legs tired, ain't your legs tired!? His legs ain't Tired! He Just ... Tinktinktinktinktinktink, TinktinkTinktinkTinktink!! Just paperclips and Sparks everywhere! — Katt Williams