Jon Richardson Quotes & Sayings

I refuse to believe that clubbing is how people are supposed to meet to establish relationships on a level for beyond what we consider to be a norm in modern society. — Jon Richardson

I tend to wear a coat more for the fact that I worry if I'm going to get drunk, I'm going to get pickpocketed. And a coat goes over your pockets so it's harder for someone to get their hand in and steal your phone or wallet out of your pocket. It's an unnecessary level of thinking that may lessen the enjoyment you have out of life. — Jon Richardson

Anyone who tells you that it is better to have loved and lost that to never loved at all has never done both. — Jon Richardson

Why do fools fall in love? I'll tell you why, because everybody else has simply got too much else to do. — Jon Richardson

I am in no doubt that if you use the term 'luv' in a letter or text message then you are incapable of truly understanding the emotion. Artists have not pored over heartache and unrequited sentimentality for years so that our generation could decide that four letters is simply one too many to express how we feel. — Jon Richardson

Somehow, happiness is not diminished by being shared out with other people. — Jon Richardson

There is simply too much to be done for us all to go round 'enjoying ourselves.' When the world is perfect, then we can all sit down and eat jelly beans, but for now the fact that things are going well for you just means that you are in a position to alleviate someone else's suffering for a while. — Jon Richardson

I know very well that I have no reason to feel aggrieved - I am fully aware of how lucky I am, but knowing it and still being down makes me hate myself all the more. — Jon Richardson

My favourite pub game is, of course, snooker. Any game whose rules basically amount to finding a table covered in mess and slowly and methodically putting it all away out of sight is one with which I can empathise emphatically. — Jon Richardson

Any second... now? No. I am a 'mourning person. Not because anybody close to me has recently passed away, but because I use that term to describe my demeanour at daybreak and as a way of separating myself from what are known as 'morning people' - those high-functioning, grinning morons, who skip out their beds and pounce at the dawn as eagerly and energetically as a young puppy greets a hanging shoelace.
My mornings are (with the exception of Christmas Day) dark and sombre affairs, spent grieving the sleep of which I've been robbed; morning is when blades of daylight hack viciously at the dreams that have kept you company through the night. — Jon Richardson

[On setting all clocks at varying times in advance...]
A selfless gesture on my part which ensures I am never late, but really only means that I spend time waiting not only for people who are late but also for people who are on time. — Jon Richardson

The best dating advice I can give you is that women like men who aren't weird — Jon Richardson

I don't think I'd have any friends if I didn't obscure at least 99% of my thoughts. — Jon Richardson

I don't mean to hate people, I just get forced into it. — Jon Richardson

I have a lot of internalised tantrums. I secretly hope the worst and then I start planning my little speech for the beginning of it. Showers are the worst - all the time in the shower I'm planning the next time I'm going to lose it at someone, and then I never actually do. You're almost let down when people are nice. — Jon Richardson

I believe passionately in love, I even believe in 'the one' to a certain exert, but I am willing to play the waiting game and patiently await their arrival rather than dive into relationships I know not to be right in the mean time. — Jon Richardson

I don't need someone to complete me, I need someone to make things a little bit better every now and again. — Jon Richardson

I don't really talk to people. — Jon Richardson

Such is my desire only to see the best parts of my partner and vice-versa that I must confess to being able to remember each time I have seen someone I was in love with fall over. I cannot help but be disappointed by such a shocking inability to perform such a simple task as staying upright. — Jon Richardson

The last time I went back to a girl's house for an impromptu house party I spent most of the night straightening out rugs, putting down coasters and alphabetising DVDs while all around me people got off with whoever was closest and gradually headed off to various rooms to make more mess, no doubt. — Jon Richardson

The test of total independence comes each night when the bedroom door closes behind you, the lights go out and all that there is to keep you company in the infinite darkness are your thoughts. — Jon Richardson

It is so much easier to grieve for the dead than to care for the living. At least in death we are all perfect. — Jon Richardson

I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection — Jon Richardson

My weirdness aside, if I am to find any friends, particularly a girlfriend, she will almost certainly have to be a human. My previous track record tends to suggest that of all species that exist on the planet, it has so far been exclusively humans to whom I find myself sexually attracted. This is a good thing legally if nothing else. — Jon Richardson