John Gray Quotes & Sayings
Enjoy the top 95 famous quotes, sayings and quotations by John Gray.
Famous Quotes By John Gray
when men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom — John Gray
Life is filled with rhythms-day and night, hot and cold, summer and winter, spring and fall, cloudy and clear. Likewise in a relationship, men and women have their own rhythms and cycles. — John Gray
A women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. — John Gray
Always thought of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself — John Gray
It is not enough to merely be authentic in sharing yourself; to succeed in dating you need to consider how you will be interpreted as well. — John Gray
A woman's sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships. — John Gray
Like their Martian ancestors, men pride themselves on being experts, especially when it comes to fixing mechanical things, getting places, or solving problems. These are the times when he needs her loving acceptance the most and not her advice or criticism. — John Gray
If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow. — John Gray
As commonly practiced, philosophy is the attempt to find good reasons for conventional beliefs. — John Gray
For people in thrall to 'mortality', the good life means perpetual striving. For Taoists it means living effortlessly, according to our natures. The freest human being is not one who acts on reasons he has chosen for himself, but one who never has to choose. Rather than agonizing about alternatives he responds effortlessly to situations as they arise. He lives not as he chooses but as he must. — John Gray
After learning , please be realistic.
Give yourself a permission to keep making mistakes.
We must also give ourselves the gift of understanding that we can't remember everything we learned at once — John Gray
In a competition for mates a well developed capacity for self-deception is an advantage. The same is true in politics and and other contexts — John Gray
When a man can listen to a woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift.
He makes it safe for her to express herself.
The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs. — John Gray
Our lives are more like fragmentary dreams than the enactments of conscious selves. We control very little of what we most care about; many of our most fateful decisions are made unbeknownst to ourselves. Yet we insist that mankind can achieve what we cannot: conscious mastery of its existence. This is the creed of those who have given up an irrational belief in God for an irrational faith in mankind. — John Gray
A woman should not be judged for needing this reassurance, just as a man should not be judged for needing to withdraw. — John Gray
We are unique individuals with unique experiences — John Gray
That love motivates you to cooperate, respect, appreciate, cherish, and admire that person. — John Gray
Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished. — John Gray
The Buddha promised release from something we all understand: suffering. By contrast, no one can say what was the original sin, and no one understands how the suffering of Christ can redeem it. — John Gray
Men need to remember that when women seem upset and talk about problems is not the time to offer solutions; instead she needs to be heard, and gradually she will feel better on her own. — John Gray
Quite often, when one partner makes a positive change the other will also change. This predictable coincidence is one of those magical things about life. — John Gray
Men, if you're traveling with your wife or girlfriend and she mentions that it's time to start looking for a restaurant, you need to sit up and take notice. This means her blood sugar level has dropped and, for you, it ought to be a red alert with flashing lights and sirens. Get that woman fed! — John Gray
If I seek to fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win. — John Gray
The common man cannot see things objectively because his mind is clouded by anxiety about achieving his goals. Seeing clearly means not projecting our goals into the world. — John Gray
When misunderstandings arise, remember that we speak different languages; take the time necessary to translate what your partner really means or wants to say. This definitely takes practice, but it is well worth it. — John Gray
Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences. — John Gray
We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone. — John Gray
A man's sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. — John Gray
Not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently. — John Gray
The fate of the Right in the late modern age is to destroy what remains of the past in a vain attempt to recover it. — John Gray
The Buddhist ideal of awakening implies that we can sever our links with our evolutionary past. We can raise ourselves from the sleep in which other animals pass their lives. Our illusions dissolved, we need no longer suffer. This is only another doctrine of salvation, subtler than that of the Christians, but no different from Christianity in its goal of leaving our animal inheritance behind.
But the idea that we can rid ourselves of animal illusion is the greatest illusion of all. meditation may give us a fresher view of things but cannot uncover them as they are in themselves. — John Gray
Remember, if a man needs to pull away like a rubber band, when he returns he will be back with a lot more love. Then he can listen. This is the best time to initiate conversation. — John Gray
Men go to their caves .. Women talk — John Gray
A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He compensates for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence. Success, achievement, and efficiency are foremost in his life ... A man appears most uncaring when he is afraid. — John Gray
Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding. — John Gray
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving. — John Gray
Venusians have different values. They value love, communication, beauty, and relationships. They spend a lot of time supporting, helping, and nurturing one another. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating. — John Gray
The destruction of the natural world is not the result of global capitalism, industrialisation, 'Western civilisation' or any flaw in human institutions. It is a consequence of the evolutionary success of an exceptionally rapacious primate. Throughout all of history and prehistory, human advance has coincided with ecological devastation. — John Gray
Because she is afraid of not being supported, she unknowingly pushes away the support she needs. — John Gray
Today secular faith is ebbing, and it is the apostles of unbelief who are left stranded on the beach. — John Gray
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. — John Gray
The good life is not found in dreams of progress,but in coping with tragic contingencies.We have been reared on religions and philosophies that deny the experience of tragedy.Can we imagine a life that is not founded on the consolations of action?Or are we too lax and coarse even to dream of living without them? — John Gray
Global laissez-faire is not a conspiracy of corporate America. It is a tragedy - one of several that have occurred in the twentieth century - in which an hubristic ideology runs aground on enduring human needs that it has failed to comprehend. — John Gray
Where affluence is the rule, the true threat is the loss of desire.(...) What is new is not that prosperity depends on stimulating demand. It is that it cannot continue without inventing new vices. — John Gray
Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to help a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving he may sound to him. — John Gray
Those who ignore the destructive potential of new technologies can do so only because they ignore history . Pogroms are as old as Christendom , but without railways, the telegraph and poison gas there could have been no Holocaust. (..) Scientific fundamentalism claim that science is the disinterested pursuit of the truth. But to represent science in this way is to disregard the human needs science serves. Among us science serves two needs: for hope and censorship. Today only science supports the myth of progress. If people cling to the hope of progress, it is not so much from genuine belief as from fear of what may come if they give it up. — John Gray
As this pain comes up also focus on the love you feel for him/her. Focus on the love. Love feels good, love is expansive. Love is open and accepting. This love you feel is healing the pain of your loss. One day soon your pain will go and only the love will remain. — John Gray
The soul is who you are when you strip away the body, mind, and heart. Your soul has a potential that takes an entire lifetime to be fully realized. When a couple are soul mates, when their souls recognize and love each other and they are attracted to each other physically, emotionally, and mentally, then this love not only can last but can continue to grow and become richer as the years pass. This does not mean that everything will flow easily and effortlessly. It simply means you have the potential to be successful. — John Gray
Men mistakenly expect women to think, communicate, and react the way men do; women mistakenly expect men to feel, communicate, and respond the way women do. — John Gray
Modern humanism is the faith that through science humankind can know the truth- and to be free. But if Darwin's theory of natural selection is true this is impossible. The human mind serves evolutionary success, not truth. To think otherwise is to resurrect the pre-Darwinian error that humans are different from all other animals. (...) There is no mechanism of selection in the history of ideas akin to that of the natural selection of genetic mutations in evolution.(...) Among humans, the best deceivers are those who deceive themselves: 'we deceive ourselves in order to deceive others better'. A lover who promises eternal fidelity s more likely to be believed if he believes his promise himself; he is no more likely to keep his promise.(...) In a competition for mates, a well-developed capacity for self-deception is an advantage. — John Gray
There is no mechanism of selection in the history of ideas akin to that of the natural selection of genetic mutations in evolution — John Gray
A glance at any human should be enough to dispel any notion that it is the work of an intelligent being. — John Gray
As commonly practised, philosophy is the attempt to find good reasons for conventional beliefs'
'There is no mechanism of selection in the history of ideas akin to that of the natural selection of genetic mutations in evolution'
'Human knowledge is one thing, human well-being is another.There is no predetermined harmony between the two'
'In the struggle for life, the taste for truth is a luxury-or else a disability — John Gray
The number one way a man can succeed in fulfilling a woman's primary love needs is through communication. By learning to listen to a woman's feelings, a man can effectively shower a woman with caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance ... — John Gray
Histories of morality are rarely written in order to inform the reader. — John Gray
Take time off to give to yourself, in a sense to fill yourself up to fullness, to where now you can overflow in giving. — John Gray
You may wish to be loving - you may even try with all your might - but your love will never be pure unless you are free from resentment. When we are free from resentment, loving is effortless. When we have to try hard to love, this is generally a sign that we are repressing our resentments ... — John Gray
When she says "I feel like you are not even here," he says "What do you mean I'm not here? Of course I am here. Don't you see my body? — John Gray
and hold her. Another woman would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didn't know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her. By recognizing these differences I began to learn a new way of relating to my wife. I would have never believed we could resolve conflict so easily. — John Gray
Not to be needed is a slow death for a man. — John Gray
When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. — John Gray
Too much intimacy, too quickly, can cause women to become needy and men to pull away. Just as men have a tendency to rush into physical intimacy, women make the mistake of rushing into complete emotional intimacy. — John Gray
Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions. — John Gray
Although feelings of attraction are automatic, in order to sustain attraction in a personal relationship we must also be skillful in presenting ourselves in ways that are not just appealing to the other sex but supportive as well. It is not enough to say, Here I am; take me as I am. — John Gray
As precious as knowledge itself is the learning. As precious as any reward is the earning. — John Gray
I would love you all the day, every night we would kiss and play, if with me you'd fondly stray, over the hills and far away. — John Gray
Mental chemistry creates interest, Emotional chemistry Generates Affection, Physical chemistry generates desire, and Spiritual chemistry creates love. A soulmate includes all four...and I will not settle for anything less! — John Gray
Darwin's theory shows the truth of naturalism: we are animals like any other; our fate and that of the rest of life on Earth are the same. Yet, in an irony all the more exquisite because no one has noticed it, Darwinism is now the central prop of the humanist faith that we can transcend our animal natures and rule the Eart. — John Gray
Belief in the liberating power of knowledge has become the ruling illusion of modern humankind. Most want to believe that some kind of explanation or understanding will deliver them from their conflicts. Yet being divided from yourself goes with being self-aware. This is the truth in the Genesis myth: the Fall is not an event at the beginning of history but the intrinsic condition of self-conscious beings. — John Gray
The process of learning requires not only hearing and applying but also forgetting and then remembering again. — John Gray
If you put a bit of butter or sour cream on your potato, the release of sugar into the bloodstream is slowed. — John Gray
To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license and use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Men mistakenly take these expressions literally. Because they misunderstand the intended meaning, they commonly react in an unsupportive manner. — John Gray
Science enables humans to satisfy their needs. It does nothing to change them. They are no different today from what they have always been. There is progress in knowledge, but not in ethics. This s the verdict both of science and history, and the view of every one of the world's religions. — John Gray
the suggestions, strategies, and — John Gray
To love someone is to acknowledge the goodness of who they are. Through loving a person we awaken their awareness of their own innate goodness. It is as though they cannot know how worthy they are until they look into the mirror of our love and see themselves. — John Gray
When a woman's wave rises she feels she has an abundance of love to give, but when it falls she feels her inner emptiness and needs to be filled up with love. — John Gray
in life. It is important, I think, to remember that in a mature relationship, love is not a feeling, but rather a way of being and, as some have said, it is a decision. If we are to love we must avoid the trap of behaving however we might happen to feel on any given day. That puts love on a seesaw with us; down one day and up the next! Rather, to love someone while also maintaining our own love for ourselves, we must deliberately and wisely choose what we do in our relationship. At least as importantly, we must control how we respond to what our partner may do. After all, love doesn't grow from being adored. It grows when it persists and endures through times when we or our partner are difficult to love. Indeed, love thrives on challenges, especially those we address within our own hearts. — John Gray
History is a treadmill turned by rising human numbers. Today GM crops are being marketed as the only means of avoiding mass starvation. They are unlikely to improve the lives of peasant farmers ; but they may well enable them to survive in greater numbers. — John Gray
Over the past two hundred years philosophy has shaken off Christian faith. It has not given up Christianity's cardinal error -the belief that humans are radically different from all other animals. — John Gray
When man and women are able to respect and accept there differences the love has a chance to blossom — John Gray
In science, progress is a fact, in ethics and politics it is a superstition. — John Gray
It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied. — John Gray
All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner. — John Gray
When men and women are single for a long time, the differences are sometimes not as defined. — John Gray
To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own. — John Gray
Love brings up our unresolved feelings . One day we are feeling loved , and the next day we are suddenly afraid to trust love .
The painful memories of being rejected begin to surface when we are faced with trusting and accepting our partner's love . — John Gray
Success lies in doing not what others consider to be great but what you consider to be right. — John Gray
Learning from mistakes helps prevent the repetition of negative patterns. — John Gray
When negative feelings are suppressed positive feelings become suppressed as well, and love dies. — John Gray