Joan Bauer Quotes & Sayings

But through it all I held Mrs. Pettibone's words in my heart-the ones she spoke to me after the funeral when she took my hand, looked into my face and said, You've got your father's eyes. — Joan Bauer

There they were, the movers and shakers of Benjamin Franklin Hight - the sports stars, the cheerleaders, the good, the great, the gorgeous - bent over their pizzas.
Trish sensed my angst and said, "My mother says girls like Lisa Shooty get the ultimate curse known to man."
"What's that?"
"Too much too soon."
I looked at poor, cursed Lisa who had been sprayed with sex appeal at birth. She had gleaming teeth and long, raven-black curls. She threw back her head and laughed with diamond-studded joy.
"When do you think the curse takes effect?" I asked.
"Not in our lifetime," Trish answered. — Joan Bauer

Staring down hard truth takes guts. — Joan Bauer

You don't become a real sailor until you sail in a storm. — Joan Bauer

You know where we got stuck? We were looking for faithfull, loving and perfect relationships-males who were always glad to see us."
"So?"
"We already have that!"
"What do you mean?"
"We've got dogs! — Joan Bauer

But then Macon smiled at me. Just be yourself, Foster. That's the best thing in the world. — Joan Bauer

I flopped on the overstuffed kitchen couch and watched him go. I wondered what would happen to all his films and photographs in the upstairs closet - the documentaries on homelessness and drug addiction, the funny short subjects, the half-finished romantic comedy, the boxes of slice-of-life photographs that spoke volumes about the human condition. I wondered how you stop caring about what you've ached over, sweated over. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

Everything's got a purpose, really - you just have to look for it.
Cats are good at keeping old dogs alive.
Loss helps you reach for gain.
Death helps you celebrate life.
War helps you work for peace.
A flood makes you glad you're still standing.
And a tall boy can stop the wind so a candle of hope can burn bright. — Joan Bauer

We've got so much in this life that all we know how to do is want more. So we concentrate on the wrong things
things we can see
as being the measure of a person. We think if we win something big or buy something snazzy it'll make us more than we are. Our hearts know that's not true, but the eyes are powerful. It's easier to fix on what we can see than listen to the still, small voice of a whispering heart. — Joan Bauer

Sometimes the best thing that can happen to a person is to have a puppy lick your face. — Joan Bauer

How could a man with so much heart die from a heart attack? — Joan Bauer

Divorce casts so many shadows. — Joan Bauer

You don't understand how much light you have until the lights go out. — Joan Bauer

We read to learn and to grow, to laugh, to be motivated, and to understand things we've never been exposed to. We read for strength to help us when we feel broken, discouraged or afraid. We read to find hope. We read because we're not just made up of skin and bones, and a deep need for chocolate, but we're also made up of words, words which describe our thoughts and what's hidden in our hearts. — Joan Bauer

Finally he said, "Hope, do you want to have dinner with me sometime?"
I dropped a plastic bottle of Gulden's.
We looked at it on the floor. Neither of us picked it up.
"I mean, I know we have dinner a lot when we're working. I meant out someplace. Together." Braverman picked up the Gulden's bottle, handed it to me. He coughed. "A date."
I said, "What is this, an epidemic?"
I backed out the door and left Braverman in the supply closet.
I don't get asked out too much either. — Joan Bauer

You don't understand the power of loss when it first hits you like a baseball coming fast from an out-of-control pitcher....It's the third day after an injury when the pain really starts to throb. — Joan Bauer

I hate leaving places i love i was never at one place long. am i selfish? — Joan Bauer

You don't know which way a thing will come at you, but you need to welcome it with your whole heart which ever way it arrives. — Joan Bauer

I regarded the pumpkin thief's worst nightmare: splotchy coat, tattered ears, sleeping death rattle. "He gums robbers to death?" I asked. "What if they bring biscuits? — Joan Bauer

Coach Perkins will stand trial for second-degree murder in Cincinnati. — Joan Bauer

I watched that plant in the office every day.
Watered it; misted it. I loved thinking about it like G.T. said, but part of me was worried the tree surgery wouldn't take. Something would go wrong and then Id be stuck with a metaphor that couldn't go the distance. — Joan Bauer

Mom's note on the dining room table to me and Faith read:
Daughters of mine,
In case you haven't noticed, no one has seen the top of our dining room table in months. I seem to recall it is oak, but as the days dwindle by, I'm less and less sure. Perhaps this is because your school books, files, papers, magazines, letters, underwear, etc., are shielding it from normal use. My goal for you, dear offspring, to be accomplished in twenty-four hours (no excuses), is the clearing/exhuming of this space so that we may gather around it once again and spend quality time. Even though I am working the night shift, I will still be watching. Do it or die.
Your loving mother — Joan Bauer

The problem with human beings is we think we can wear too many hats at once. It's not possible. It's an outright fashion disaster. — Joan Bauer

It's a complete rush to get what you've been hoping for - to get it so full and complete that it fills your senses. — Joan Bauer

People are so cheap. Everyone wants quality, no one wants to pay for it. Here's the suburban dream
to hire great workers who are such meek morons that they don't have the guts to ask for a living wage. — Joan Bauer

The attendant walked closer. "Where'd you come from, soldier?"
Tree tried to think of a recent war and coudn't, so he said, "Canada."
The attendant looked surprised. "Canada?"
"It was a secret mission," Grandpa said.
"It saved the Republic," Wild Man whispered. — Joan Bauer

Will we have bodyguards?"
"We're not quite set up for that. But with all these mothers, you don't need them. — Joan Bauer

Hope-to cherish a desire with expectation of fulfillment. — Joan Bauer

She studied my face.
I rubbed my eyes. "I'm fine," I assured her.
That was five months ago. I wasn't fine then and I'm not fine now. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

I'll tell you why I keep my scrapbooks. It's in case my real father shows up .I never met him, don't even know his name ... I've got this feeling he's out there searching for me. When he bursts through the door and tells me he's spent a fortune on detectives looking all over the world for me, I'm not going to sit there like a dumb cluck when he asks me what I've been doing. I'm going to yank out my eleven scrapbooks filled with my experiences and inner-most thoughts on life lived in three time zones in America. I was a Girl Scout for three months when we lived in Atlanta. I couldn't get those square knots down for anything, but I got the big concept. Be prepared. Addie always told me, It's more important to get the big concept than to be an expert in the small stuff. — Joan Bauer

You got to laugh Tree, if you don't you'll cry. — Joan Bauer

Ellie: "You could lie to me. You could tell me to be encouraged, that good will triumph over evil."
Richard: "Good will triumph over evil."
Ellie: "Liar. — Joan Bauer

On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children.
On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too happy after the meal. — Joan Bauer

Harrison wrote a two-page poem about his deep feelings of loss when his dog Filbert died, and Mrs. Minerva, the creative writing teacher, gave it a B-minus. Do you know what that does to a a person to get a B-minus in Grief? — Joan Bauer

I hope you'll have the kind of life where what you stand for is so important that it makes some people outright hostile. You won't know how strong your beliefs really are until you have to defend them. — Joan Bauer

If you can't find an answer at the mall or the library, what does that say about the world? — Joan Bauer

Parents just concentrate on the thing that drives them nuts and all the other good stuff you do goes out the window. — Joan Bauer

When we don't have the words chocolate can speak volumes. — Joan Bauer

There's a lot of cheese where you're going, Hope. I'm not sure how this affects people long term. — Joan Bauer

But Reba taught me to be grateful no matter what. I looked up at the blue sky. — Joan Bauer

I nearly tripped over Stieglitz, my dog, a forty-pound black-and-white keeshond (pronounced caze-hawnd) furball. He lunged at me with unbridled glee because the mere sight of my presence always made his day. It's important to have a dog. Dogs love unconditionally. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

Mother, this is a confidential business discussion. I hardly think that your driver can add anything noteworthy.
I could kick you in the stomach, I thought, moving toward the couch. I could drag you across Texas by your pointy ears. — Joan Bauer

He shouted out like a drill sergeant, "Men, are we having fun yet?
"No sir!" the vets cried out.
"Men, are we going to fight like soldiers or fools?"
The vets looked at one another, grinned.
"Like fools, sir!"
Everyone laughed.
Luger dropped his cup again, but this time he kicked it hard across the room.
"I can still kick!
And everyone in rehab worked a little harder. — Joan Bauer

To quote Shirley Polanski, head waitress at the Humdinger Diner: "Beware of a big man whose stomach doesn't move when he laughs."
I think a Chinese philosopher said it first, but these things trickle down to the food service community. — Joan Bauer

It was probably easier in the old days when the bad guys rode into town wearing black capes or whatever bad guys wore and the milk cows were ownded by honest people. Right off the bat, you'd know who you were dealing with. Now everybody dresses alike. — Joan Bauer

I don't want you to leap into another relationship without thinking. Looking for perfect is a big, fat myth because perfect isn't out there. — Joan Bauer

Sometimes being hopeful needs to be a very deliberate act. — Joan Bauer

All people are alike when they sleep."

Jeremiah Lopper paraphrasing Aristotle (p. 146) — Joan Bauer

When you have something so important, something that you'll stay awake for, something you know that you were designed to do, well, it's worth getting a few dark circles, don't you think? — Joan Bauer

Addie always keeps her promises.
That's why my mother gave me to her. — Joan Bauer

My father always told me that in this world we are going to make a truckload of mistakes, but the best mistake we can ever make is to err on the side of mercy — Joan Bauer

Infatuation cannot be sustained indefinitely, my friend. Love that embraces the entire person is a monumental gift that takes time to grow. — Joan Bauer

Have you ever noticed that it takes a textbook dozens of pages to say what normal people can cover fast?
Example:
What was the full impact of World War II?
Clear-cut teenage answer: we won. — Joan Bauer

No wonder you get along with so many kinds of people, Foster. Look at all this heritage that's part of you. That's something to be proud of. — Joan Bauer

It takes a great cook to pull life truth from poultry. — Joan Bauer

Sometimes you've got to shout the truth and wake people up. — Joan Bauer

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to be who you are. — Joan Bauer

Now i believe that the way to anyone's heart is through their stomach, and, my boy, i'm here to tell you, we ware in the heart business. we're going to reach deep past the menu and into the emotional power of food because a person comes back to a restaurant again and again for one reason only - to fee their soul. — Joan Bauer

I looked at her from the corner of my eye. Some people are hard to imagine as children. — Joan Bauer

I had expected the well to be full for some reason.
Not that it had ever been before.
I kept looking for signs of water in the dark insides.
I heard my bucket clank as it hit
Against the walls that held nothing.
I look at the bucket that came up empty
And made a decision that changed my life.
I will keep my bucket and find another well. — Joan Bauer

I don't do normal. I have a reputation to uphold. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

Guys don't understand great art. They don't care that sometimes the camera has power beyond the photographer to record emotion that only the heart can see. They're threatened when the camera jumps ahead of me. Todd Kovich was pissed when I brought my Nikon to the prom, but I'd missed too many transcendent shots over the years to ever take a chance of missing one again. A prom, I told him, had a boundless supply of photogenic bozos who could be counted on to do something base. — Joan Bauer

The choices we make can have lasting consequences. — Joan Bauer

Was it alright?"
"It was fine."
"What aspect of the definition of fine was it?"
"We had a decent time."
I've been to Walgreens and had a decent time. — Joan Bauer

Perchance, I would listen. Have you said anything? — Joan Bauer

Revenge of the Giant Grill Man. — Joan Bauer

It isn't the problems along the way that make us or break us. It's how we learn to stand and face them that makes the difference. — Joan Bauer

It's like getting an extraordinary meal after you've been eating junk food for a long time. The taste just sweeps through your sensibilities, bringing all-out contentment, and the sheer goodness of it makes up for every bad meal you ever had. — Joan Bauer

Difficult relationships come into our lives for a reason. No one would choose them, certainly. But if we let them, they can teach us how to be flexible with others and more forgiving. — Joan Bauer

How are things with you, sir?"
"Fine." He says it flat."Coffee black. BLT."
Now my heart tells me this guy needs more in life, so I take a short. "You ever had a cheese burger with grilled onions and mushrooms on pumpernickel, sir?"
That takes a minute to sink in.
Then he slaps the counter, grinning. "Bring it on."
I sense he needs more.
"You want a malt with that, by any chance?"
He did, of course. "Chocolate," he says, beaming like a kid.
Now he's loosening up.
It's a privilege to touch humanity in such a fashion. — Joan Bauer

Librarians understand about power - they know how to find anything. — Joan Bauer

Mom put dense cheddar bread into a bag for a man who said this was his wife's favorite - he'd driven all the way from New Jersey to buy it because today was their anniversary. Several women in the store jabbed their husbands on hearing this. I hung my head - Peter Terris wouldn't cross the street to buy me a Twinkie. — Joan Bauer

You need a negative charge and a positive one to get something moving. We've got the negative; we're going to find the positive if it kills us. — Joan Bauer

I had taken the photograph from afar (distance being the basic glitch in our relationship), using my Nikon and zoom lens while hiding behind a fake marble pillar. I was hiding because if he knew I'd been secretly photographing him for all these months he would think I was immature, neurotic and obsessive.
I'm not.
I'm an artist.
Artists are always misunderstood.(Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

Since I couldn't be the prettiest girl at the party I could at least make it uncomfortable for the one who was. — Joan Bauer

It seemed to me that the people who made the rules of the road had figured out everything that would help a person drive safely right down to having a sign that tells you you're passing through a place where deer cross. Somebody should stick up some signs on the highway of life.
CAUTION: JERKS CROSSING.
Blinking yellow lights when you're about to to something stupid.
Stop signs in front of people who could hurt you.
Green lights shining when you're doing the right thing.
It would make the whole experience easier. — Joan Bauer

Know why I plant trees?"
"No."
"I like thinking that they'll be here long after I'm gone. All those fine memories pushing up to the sky. — Joan Bauer

Everyone needs fudge, Hildy. It's how God helps us cope. — Joan Bauer

She shoved her can right under his chin. "Don't mess with seniors," she growled at him. — Joan Bauer

What kind of kids live in Mulhoney, Wisconsin? Would they like me? Would I like them? Have they ever eaten sushi? That's usually how I determine food sophistication. Maybe a personal ad would get the ball rolling:
Insightful, hardworking, 16-year-old girl, emotionally generous and witty, seeks friend/pal/chum to while away meaningful hours. Picky eaters need not reply. — Joan Bauer

sometimes a kid has to act older than they are — Joan Bauer

Motherhood should be like driving a car
you should have to pass a test before you can do it legally. — Joan Bauer

WELCOME HOME, FOLKS
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT — Joan Bauer

My grandma always said that God made libraries so that people didn't have any excuse to be stupid. — Joan Bauer

It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in. (Thwonk) — Joan Bauer

You're going to fall down in this life - everybody dies. But you be the kind of person who doesn't stay down for long. Get back on your feet and keep going no matter what. — Joan Bauer

What's wrong with the world," Nana explained, "is that people stopped listening to their hearts ...
"Not everybody stopped listening," she continued, "but enough people did to make a difference. We've go so much in this life that all we know how to do is want more. So we concentrate on the wrong things
things we can see
as being the measure of a person. We think if we can win something big or buy something snazzy it'll make us more than we are. Our hearts know that's not true, but the eyes are powerful. It's easier to fix on what we can see than listen to the still, small voice of a whispering heart."
Nana turned her eyes on me like a vet looking for fleas: "A heart will say amazing things if it's given half a chance. — Joan Bauer

COOK'S TIP: Bake every day. If you have to leave town fast, you'll always have something good to eat in the car. — Joan Bauer

If she's really psychic," Zack said when he saw Tanisha's photo at school, "why does she need a doorbell? — Joan Bauer

Elden started toward me, "I think that's enough!"
The man I almost knocked down bolted from his chair and shouted, "Let her speak!"
Yield, rat boy! — Joan Bauer

When hope gets released in a place, all kinds of things are possible — Joan Bauer

I stood up, and my pants ripped completely across the seam. It was inevitable, but for once in my life, my timing had been decent. — Joan Bauer

They marched. Not for themselves. They marched to remember the ones who didn't make it back. They marched because seeing so much loss can teach you about life. they marched because we're all fighting a war whether we know it or not ... a war for our minds and souls and what we believe in. — Joan Bauer

I've got my Replogle globe, because you've got to keep a world view, you can't just live like you're the only person on the planet who matters — Joan Bauer

Not all vegetables are this draining. Lettuce doesn't bring heartache. Turnips don't ask for your soul. Potatoes don't care where you are or even where they are. Tomatoes cuddle up to anyone who'll give them mulch and sunshine. But giants like Max need you every second. You can forget about a whiz-bang social life. — Joan Bauer

When you listen to G. T. Stoop, you understand the importance of being a honorable person, you get charged to fight for the truth, you get angry that so many politicians are playing games with people's trust. — Joan Bauer

If you stick that anger behind you, one day you're going to turn around and find it's gone. — Joan Bauer

You cannot measure the loss of a human life. It's all the things a person was, all their dreams, all the people who loved them, all they hoped to be and could give back to the world. — Joan Bauer

The problem with the heart is how it can have so many opposite feelings coursing through it all at the same time. It's really an inconsistent thing- appreciating something one minute and hating it the next. — Joan Bauer

I reached into my bag and pulled out a pumpkin spice muffin with walnuts that was as moist as anything. "It can be plain for breakfast or I can top it with cream cheese frosting. I like a muffin that can go from day to evening."
I gave it to her. She sniffed it, nodded, and held it up.
"How do I know you're not trying to poison me?"
I wasn't expecting that question. "Ms. Morningstar, I swear, if I was going to poison you, I wouldn't ruin a perfectly fine muffin to do it. — Joan Bauer