Jesse Petersen Quotes & Sayings

Do what you love and the zombies will follow. — Jesse Petersen

Share in your activities and interests. If you are going to kill zombies anyway, why not do it together? — Jesse Petersen

Don't forget the little people, even when you want to. — Jesse Petersen

Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass. — Jesse Petersen

Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies. — Jesse Petersen

Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets. — Jesse Petersen

Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us! — Jesse Petersen

Profits are everything; but to get them you have to catch a zombie. — Jesse Petersen

Dress for success. Also arm yourself for it. — Jesse Petersen

I stared at him. David, that's prison movies, not zombie movie. — Jesse Petersen

Address one issue at a time.You can't load gasoline, pick up food, AND kill fifteen zombies at once — Jesse Petersen

Present a united front: YOU against the zombies. — Jesse Petersen

Who moves my cheese? ...and my shotgun? — Jesse Petersen

Show physical affection. Nothing says "I love you" like bearing the entirety of your spouse's weight. — Jesse Petersen

And then, anger gave way to pure and simple job satisfaction. I mean, when I looked at a dead zombie head on a spike, I thought, Hey, I did that. Picasso would have been proud. Especially how I rearranged that eye — Jesse Petersen

Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble. — Jesse Petersen

Admit when you're wrong. It doesn't fix a busted leg, of course, but it's a nice gesture none-the-less. — Jesse Petersen

Um, didn't Mythbusters once do an episode about how you couldn't use sheets as a way out of prison?" I laughed. "I don't remember if they busted it or not. — Jesse Petersen

I stopped as I thought of poor Jack on my bathroom floor, just another victim of Dr. Phil. — Jesse Petersen

Building relationships is building business. Also, you sometimes need other people to kill all the motherfucking zombies. — Jesse Petersen

Men are from Mars. Zombies are from Hell. — Jesse Petersen

I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it. — Jesse Petersen

Do fight unwinnable battles. Sometimes they're worth it. — Jesse Petersen

So you killed him with what now?"
"I tried that Dr. Phil book at first" ... "And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy. — Jesse Petersen

Never go to bed angry. Terrified is okay. — Jesse Petersen

Don't discuss your relationship problems with friends. Your zombie problems are another story entirely. — Jesse Petersen

Talk openly about important issues like money, sex, and religion. They can affect your life and happiness a great deal. Especially when it comes to cults. — Jesse Petersen

I went all kung fu on his zombie ass. — Jesse Petersen

Protect your brand - and your ass. — Jesse Petersen

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. — Jesse Petersen

Just because she tried to eat us doesn't mean she was wrong — Jesse Petersen

Fake it til you make it. Just make it. — Jesse Petersen

You are your partner are on the same side - it's the side of the living. — Jesse Petersen

Be proactive; and ready to run if proactive backfires. — Jesse Petersen

Expand. Why stick to just killing zombies? Or killing them just one way. — Jesse Petersen

Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation. — Jesse Petersen

I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as we left her office, but a manwich. — Jesse Petersen

Yeah." Sven said. "The stuff she just said. Let's not get all killy. — Jesse Petersen

Thank God for the second amendment. — Jesse Petersen

Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains. — Jesse Petersen

Partnerships don't last forever. The zombie apocalypse just might. — Jesse Petersen

Find creative ways to have fun together. Looting is really underrated. — Jesse Petersen

Strive for the 4 hour work week. The rest of the time run like hell. — Jesse Petersen

Rich dad, poor zombie. — Jesse Petersen

The question: What color is my parachute?
The answer: blood red, brains gray, sludge black. — Jesse Petersen

Think win-win. You probably won't get it, but think it. — Jesse Petersen

Have you ever wanted to smash a car? Or break a television? Or maybe burn a big fire in the middle of a city square? If the answer is yes, then you'd have some fun during a zombie infestation. It's the little moments, you know? — Jesse Petersen

Profits aren't everything. If you can get out with only your ass intact, that's pretty good too. — Jesse Petersen

Strive for more. More zombies, more fighting, more profit. — Jesse Petersen

Don't fear change. Just fear everything and everyone else. — Jesse Petersen