Jeremy Robert Johnson Quotes & Sayings

The money buys the drugs, the drugs work harder and harder to trick your blackened dopamine receptors into giving a damn about living. At some point you make a choice: fight your need the rest of your goddamned long-suffering life, or fill your need until it disappears into the grave with you. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

I mistakenly believed that my life had finally reached the peak of Crazy Bullshit Mountain. Hindsight — Jeremy Robert Johnson

collected promotional mugs for all eight of the banks which collapsed beneath me. I lined them up in each new cubicle like heads on poles outside of a cannibal village. My resume was a graveyard of once powerful institutions. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Exposed! shines a harsh light on the myriad horrors of modern society and reports back from the fearful frontlines with wicked wit and paranoid power. From the murky waters of New Orleans to the scarred psyches of our own image-obsessed existence, Exposed! is the last headline we get to read before reality comes tumbling down. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Ideas are the finery we wrap our brains in, to hide the reptile core that we can't escape. The reptile brain, Ron, is a vestige of the past from which we can't seem to slip loose. We chug-chug-chug toward the future, and the world of ideas grows exponentially, but we are still base creatures at times. We all have those sad, tragic moments where we neglect thought and act on old, withered snippets of instinct. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

The bodies of a man and his dog fused together, skin and fur melded. Nobody wanted to die alone. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he flew. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Quiet customers get served first. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

This is a jury of your peers. They watch the same TV movies. They belong to Oprah's Book Club. You can take any monster, slap a bad dad into his past, and all of a sudden he's just another lost soul, lashing out. And you were the poor lady that got in the way. They'll argue you lacked compassion. You were the one who took things too far. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

I considered going off grid, but where was "off grid" anymore that didn't require me to know how to kill an elephant seal and live off its blubber? — Jeremy Robert Johnson

He's just a guy who got caught up in a bad habit and made a few mistakes at work." "He's — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Ten glorious years at Pingfang, a sea of bodies brought to you by train. War as immunity from man's laws. Before, you'd worked in the shadows. During the ten years you worked for Division 4 there were no such hindrances. Dr. Masaki ran the inventory, cataloguing prisoners as non-descript units referred to only as "Materials Used." You preferred to call the prisoners "logs," each destined for the incinerator after they'd been of use. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

The night was vibrating with new potential, the beautiful after-haze of adrenaline and bad ideas fully embraced. Ugly thoughts crept in, forcing me to write off a growing list of concerning data: My old dealer gone mad and roaming the sewers; Egbert's hand - notably short on its middle and ring fingers - reaching out to me with three tiny pill baggies; gas-masked kids dodging conscious thought like a plague; a trafficked tranny more concerned with evading cops than finding love. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Somewhere, floating in a muddled abstraction beyond your existence as a generally good person, are the Externalities. Fuck 'em and God Bless 'em. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Well, Hindsight, have you ever heard of the term Busy Idiot? — Jeremy Robert Johnson

You must understand the immense power of self-serving delusion." I — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Well, you put a gun to my head."
"No. I put a suggestion in your mind and a gun in your hands. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

You can tell when they're coming for you if you study their faces. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

But my social circle had dwindled. Hell, all I had was a social dot - just me on a one man continuum. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

All of this took about a minute, but time stretches out when you're witnessing an abomination. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

I wasn't a hoarder, but I knew my place gave off a Feral Child Hidey Hole vibe. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

With this blistering salvo of poetic gutshots Lawson has proven himself Bizarro's true bard, its mad laureate. Switching from dark whimsy to retina-blast shock to political outrage without missing a beat, The Troublesome Amputee is a powerful collection of pitch-black verse. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

The terrible loop began on a Tuesday and didn't end until the day I saw a skullcracker swallow the brain of a bank-hired assassin. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Don't worry. These cowboys are all in line. Nice, law-abiding batch here, only want to help you reach your dreams. They're nothing like that last group who rolled through town with branding irons and rape-trusses and shotguns. These are the good guys. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Exactly how long can you stand on a street corner showing two drug dealers your scar-tissue-induced radical penis curvature? The answer is twelve seconds. After that it feels weird. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Loneliness is a hell of a drug. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Once I catch a serious FUCK IT wave, I ride that thing right up to the sand. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

They'd insert a probe into the patient's head to press the nodule and the patient's immediate response would be to shout out, "FUCK IT! WHY NOT? — Jeremy Robert Johnson

And his dick looks like a hot dog that got hit with a sledgehammer and sewn back together by a blind lady."
"Thanks, Port."
"You're welcome, D. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Took to typing as quickly and loudly as possible and yelling, "I'm in!" when accessing basic programs. Made me feel like a hacker. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

No one chooses to become a banker. It just happens, like cancer, and then you try to live with it for as long as you can. After thirteen years in the industry, I was damn near terminal. With each step up the corporate ladder I received a slightly smaller laptop, a slightly-harder-to-adjust office chair. To compensate they offered free donuts and coffee cards. Weekends off. 401K vesting. Medical insurance that I had to have because they were turning me into a half-blind hunchback with diabetes. The — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Man, Books & Booze is cool, right?. That's the most fun I've had in an interview this year. Definitely the most singing I've done. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

The standard freak show chic bullshit which had beset the generation after mine thanks to a string of wildly successful reality shows centering on competitive body modification. I'd had fun watching Manual Mutants and Oddfellas when they first started, but then The League of Zeroes came along and made things too grotesque. They lost me when Rectal Rachelle died on the table during her ass-neck implant surgery. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Billion dollar bonuses turned rules into polite suggestions. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

By the time I twenty, I was just like everyone else. I still am — Jeremy Robert Johnson