Jenn Cooksey Quotes & Sayings

The hell? She BETTER fucking remember me! — Jenn Cooksey

Bad sex is a fuckin' myth, like a goddamned legendary creature in some fuckin' sappy fairytale. — Jenn Cooksey

One: Enormous relief. Two: Fury. Three: Envy, because he's got a cigarette and I don't, — Jenn Cooksey

Oh by the way, man, don't ever mix turkey and Nyquil together ... it's nasty and it doesn't fuckin' work anyway. — Jenn Cooksey

Thunderdome will never be boring so I'll have fresh battle scars when I die. — Jenn Cooksey

Eight comes out of freaking nowhere with me suddenly wanting to just kiss his face. A lot. Like, I actually want to make-out with the arrogant son of a bitch. — Jenn Cooksey

I'm totally on Facebook, my alias is Invisible Nightmare. — Jenn Cooksey

Taking a deep breath and trying not to reveal my sudden feeling of inadequacy, I was about to come back with a counter offer when a knock on the window startled me and I did what I always do ... I squeaked, which Tristan thought was pretty hilarious. And for whatever reason, that embarrassed me. Nooo, not telling a guy I'd need gum in order to give him a blowjob, or being more than half-naked with a guy and almost having sex for the time, nor sitting on said guy's lap while he has an obvious erection ... no, none of that embarrasses me. Nope, squeaking like a timid mouse in front of him ... that's what turns my face bright red. I'm tellin' ya, I have issues. — Jenn Cooksey

True, but Little Sister is patient and she's always watching. — Jenn Cooksey

I love the little kids... they're my minions. — Jenn Cooksey

What do I look like? A blonde rolodex for boys who've lost an archery match with cupid? — Jenn Cooksey

He and I speak the same language ... we just have different accents. — Jenn Cooksey

Just so you understand; he's using a scene from Buffy to ask me out!!!! — Jenn Cooksey

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.
It's true.
Except all I can see is Cole.
Because he was my life. — Jenn Cooksey

Again, folks, you've been witness to one of the most seldom seen events in history ... I'm Chicken Larson saying good night, sleep tight and don't let the boogie man or a suicide blonde getchya. — Jenn Cooksey

The numbers are staggering. I swear I read somewhere that in every one thousand times a couple has unprotected sex, they'll get pregnant one billion times. — Jenn Cooksey

But we're worth it. We're worth trying. — Jenn Cooksey

I'm gonna take a minute here because you seriously need to understand how magnificent this guy is. — Jenn Cooksey

Oh God, my poor baby ... she's just as fucked up as I am. I love it! — Jenn Cooksey

Okay folks, what we have here is surely a never been seen before event. It looks like Satan herself has been called out by a - hey, how old is that walking corpse? — Jenn Cooksey

Picture Bigfoot with tits, dude ... she was fuckin' grisly. — Jenn Cooksey

Sarcasm. It's not just a form of speech; it's a dear friend. Oh, — Jenn Cooksey

Oh, you know ... staring down fear, laughing in the face of death, taking a ride in Hell, and in general, testing the waters of the unknown. — Jenn Cooksey

Uh, hello? I prefer recently reformed promiscuous reprobate. I'm just sayin', if we're gonna name call, let's just make sure we get 'em straight — Jenn Cooksey