Jaye Wells Quotes & Sayings

Hough I have to say nothing beats Type O mixed with a little cannabis." A muscle worked in David's jaw. "You're stoned?"
"Not Really," I said. "Though I do have a strange craving for pizza. Extra garlic. — Jaye Wells

That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'. — Jaye Wells

Where'd you send her?"
"Siberia. Lovely this time of year. A bit remote, I'm afraid. Might take her weeks to find a town and even longer to arrange transportation back to the States."
My lips quirked. I didn't feel like laughing, but the image of my half-millenium-old grandmother trudging through snow was kind of funny. "You're sick, you know that?"
"What can I day? I thought a cold-hearted bitch like her would feel at home in the tundra. — Jaye Wells

Hey, controlling a zombie horde is hard work. I'd punch a nun for a cheeseburger right about now. — Jaye Wells

He paused, letting the tension mount. His solemn gaze met mine. "How long are you going to make me wait?"
I considered making a joke. Blowing the whole thing off like nothing had happened. But I cared about Adam too much to dismiss his genuine interest with careless sarcasm. "I don't know."
He stared at me for a few moments. Behind his eyes I could see the wheels turning. Weighing the options and eventualities. Finally, he breathed out through his nose, like expelling bad energy. "Well, I guess that's better than 'never'. — Jaye Wells

You know what you need?" Giguhl said. I raised a brow, bracing myself for a punch line. "A to-do list. Might help you keep track of all the beings who want you dead and the satanic birdlife you've kidnapped."
I imagined a list in my head:
1. Perform voodoo ritual on evil owl.
2. Find out who sold us out to the anachronistic Caste vampires.
3. Make amends with a lesbian werewolf.
4. Rescue twin.
5. Murder grandmother.
I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. "Yeah, I'll get right on that."
Gighul heard the sarcasm. "Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me if you forget who you're supposed to kill when. — Jaye Wells

I laughed uneasily. "Jeez, you guys make it sound like I was on the brink of death or something. I just fainted." (Sabina) — Jaye Wells

He ran a finger down my cheek. "Time is a commodity right now, Red. Wait too long and it might be too late."
I swallowed hard. Went still as my stomach clenched with dread. Hadn't Maisie said almost those exact same words to me in New York when she'd encouraged me to admit my feelings to Ada? "I know."
He leaned forward and placed another soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled away, he held my gaze. "Soon, Sabina. — Jaye Wells

Why is it forked? — Jaye Wells

Got it. Look for a room with a sign with a big arrow that says, 'Kidnapped Mancies Here,' " he said. — Jaye Wells

His eyes burned with intensity. I wondered briefly if someone
he knew was being held in that cold room that smelled like death. Someone he loved? — Jaye Wells

We need more than that. They're got security all over the place."
"I can probably get some faeries involved," Vinca offered.
Frank snorted. "What are you going to do, blow pollen on them? — Jaye Wells

I only believed in three things: my right fist, my left fist, and my gut. — Jaye Wells

What are you doing here?" a deep voice demanded. My heart burst into a rapid staccato as I swung around, ready to defend myself. Only instead of a guard or employee, Giguhl sat a few feet away laughing at me.
"Dammit, you scared the crap out of me."
He laughed, a spooky noise coming from an even spookier-looking cat. "You should have seen your face. — Jaye Wells

My eyes bulged out of my head as I saw what rested between his hips. "Good Lord!" I said without thinking. A forked penis will do that to a girl. He glanced down at the appendage and smiled knowingly. "Once you go demon you never go back. — Jaye Wells

I frowned. This from a man who just watched a midget riding a gimp? — Jaye Wells

Wow," I said, brilliant as always.
He chuckled. "Understatement of the millennium."(Sabina/Adam) — Jaye Wells

Why did everyone send casseroles in times of crisis? Why didn't anyone ever send brownies and Jack Daniel's? — Jaye Wells

Is that all you bought?" His eyes shot to the left. "Um." I clenched my teeth. "What else?" "A Super Mega Juicer," he said quickly. "But, Sabina, seriously that juicer is a miracle machine." "I'm a vampire, Giguhl. The only liquids I drink are blood and alcohol. I don't do juice. — Jaye Wells

Wait," he said, pulling me to a stop when I tried to march off toward my destiny. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
I looked at him, trying to think of anything I'd done recently that I needed to admit to. When nothing came to mind other than the usual, I shook my head. "Not really. Why?"
He reached out and touched my leather jacket. "Is that a bullet hole?"
Freaking great. — Jaye Wells

When the world stilled again, ominous silence reigned. Scratch that, not silence exactly. The van's radiator hissed, and someone was groaning. Oh, right. That was me. — Jaye Wells

We passed by a few workers, who did double takes as we ran past. I supposed that the image of a hairless cat in a sweater being followed by a stressed-looking chick in stiletto boots could have been funny. I was too anxious to get the hell out of there to see any humor in it. — Jaye Wells

Don't go getting all Oprah on me now, demon. — Jaye Wells

If wishes solved problems, the world would be a very different place. — Jaye Wells

Spare me the self-righteous indignation. I highly doubt your motives are selfless. — Jaye Wells

Ewan played it cool, looking back at Sebastian. "Are their names on the list?"
Sebastian didn't miss a beat. "No sir."
"But he isn't holding a list," the girl whined.
( ... ) "Is my name of the list?" I teased Sebastian.
"What list?" he said, deadpan. "Go on back? — Jaye Wells

Before I joined them, I cracked my neck from side to side. Breathing in a martyred sigh, I reminded my temper to behave itself. If I'd learned one thing, it was that killing people who annoyed me generally created more problems than it solved.
I mentally patted myself on the back. See? Totally growing. — Jaye Wells

She lifted an eyebrow. "Hmm, I wonder why? Wouldn't have to do with a certain sexy hexy, would it?"
"If you mean the annoying asshole who was here earlier, yes."
Vinca and Giguhl traded a glance and then looked at me. "Please," Gighul said. "You're so hot for that mancy you're about to spontaneously combust. — Jaye Wells

I think you need to go find that boy and tell him how you feel about him. Then you need to ride him like a tilt-o-whirl. — Jaye Wells

Sure. What's the worst that could happen."
Twenty minutes later, we had our answer. "I can't frecking believe this."
I cringed. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm bald!" Giguhl continued. "I look like a freak."
"It's not that bad," I said. But it was. Oh, my lord was it bad. I'd never seen an uglier cat in my entire life. — Jaye Wells

You want me to assassinate him."
"No, my dear, we want you to infiltrate his organisation, find out his plans, root out his spies, and then kill him. — Jaye Wells

I walked to the door where Clovis waited. When I looked up, he was staring at Adam. A quick glance backward confirmed Adam was returning his stare. Freaking males, I thought, they couldn't be more obvious about their territorial dispute if they'd both peed on me. — Jaye Wells

You're only as sick as your secrets. - Recovery program saying — Jaye Wells

I laughed. "Yeah, right. If anyone gives you trouble, he'll hump their leg like a berserker."
"Hey! I haven't humped anyone in months." The demon pursed his lips". — Jaye Wells

The point isn't knowing what will happen, it's being aware that everything we do affects the whole. All of us - mages, vampires, humans, and the rest - affect the balance of life."
"If you start singing 'Kum Ba Yah' I'm out of here. — Jaye Wells

Bookstores are temples and stories are my prayers. — Jaye Wells

I cringed at her entirely accurate summary of the kiss. "Look, it's not a big deal. I think it was curiosity more than anything."
"Curiosity? Like you were wondering what his tonsils tasted like? — Jaye Wells

Of course cher . A proper southern woman never allows a simple misunderstanding get in the way of hospitality. — Jaye Wells

The what?"
"Lone Wolves." He turned to show me the back of his raggedy jacket. Sure enough, a snarling wolf face stared back at me from the leather.
"Wait a second," I said. "Isn't it supposed to be 'Lone Wolf' as in, you know, one? If there's more than one, then it kind of defeats the purpose of being 'lone', doesn't it?"
The leader squinted hard, as if trying to follow my logic and getting lost. — Jaye Wells

He curled his claw into a fist. "I'd like to shove a stake up that bastard's ass."
Adam's lip curled. "Remind me not to piss you off."
The demon raised his brow. "Trust that shit, mancy. — Jaye Wells

Fuck fate and David's fatalism. I was going to make destiny my bitch. — Jaye Wells

Believe it or not, there are plenty of ways to satisfy your need for blood without harming anyone."
I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but where's the fun in that? — Jaye Wells

The last thing I needed was a nymph with sunshine coming out of her ass tagging along with me. — Jaye Wells

Must not kill the demon cat. Must not kill the demon cat. — Jaye Wells

What up, peeps?"
I looked at my hairless cat for a moment. "What up, peeps? You've been watching MTV again, haven't you?"
"Word. — Jaye Wells

What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon. — Jaye Wells

My eyes shifted to the charred, smoking remains of the Caste vampire who'd taken the right bullet. And fate whispered in my ear, Who's the bitch now? — Jaye Wells

And if i had to listen to one more minute of my demon's increasingly pathetic and creepy attempts to get a piece of rebound faery ass, i was going to cut a bitch. — Jaye Wells

Sabina." Vinca said interrupting my maudlin thoughts.
"Hmmm ... "
She rolled her eyes. "I said, don't you think Adam looks nice tonight."
I shook myself. "I guess so," I said with a shrug.
"Oh, stop," he said. "You're going to make me blush. — Jaye Wells

What?" my partner asked suddenly.
I jumped, guilty at having been caught staring. But, hell, I thought, might as well ask. "Are you two
you know?" I made a vaguely obscene gesture with my fingers.
He stopped walking so fast I was shocked he didn't get whiplash. "What?"
I waved toward the building. "You and Shandi."
Instead of answering, he threw his head back and brayed like the jackass he was. — Jaye Wells

Just be sure you brush your teeth tonight. Morning breath is a fresh sea breeze compared to the hellitosis of blood breath. — Jaye Wells

I guess you don't get to watch much TV in Irkalla."
He propped his head on one scaly bicep and turned to look at me. "Nah. We stayed busy torturing the souls of the damned and playing hide the hot poker. You know, the usual. — Jaye Wells

By now, I should have learned that luck, if she was a lady, was a mean-spirited bitch with a grudge against me. — Jaye Wells

But fate-that fickle bitch-made a liar out of me. Again. — Jaye Wells

He scrambled to grab a hose and pointed it at us. A pathetic stream of water trickled out.
What are you going to do? Giguhl said. Moisten us? — Jaye Wells