Jamie Farrell Quotes & Sayings

On my honor, I ain't ever tasting another woman's sexual
favors. Even if the bakery offers 'em up in a cupcake wrapper and
calls 'em whipped dreams. — Jamie Farrell

What, was there something special in your ice cream?" he said like an ass.
"Estrogen," she said. "You might notice some swelling in your boobs and shrinkage in your package for a few days. — Jamie Farrell

Did you call someone and tell them you're safe?"
"Called and told 'em I'm not dead. Not so sure about safe
yet. — Jamie Farrell

Wow. You really know how to make a woman happy..."
"I have a night-eight percent success rate with always knowing what will make a woman happy," he said.
Lindsey chuckled softly. "And how do you quantify that?"
"Would you like to know," he said.
Nat wanted to know. — Jamie Farrell

They don't like my kind in here," Arthur said to CJ...I own a shop on The Aisle. Huck there" - Arthur nodded at the barkeep - "isn't a fan of the wedding industry."
"Why not?"
"Guy's been divorced three times and has a bar called Suckers in the most married-est town on earth. He caters to the underground wedding haters and single groomsmen. — Jamie Farrell

In the third cabinet under the counter, she hit the good stuff. "Oh! You have a KitchenAid."
"If you're planning on caressing my mixer, you should know that might make my testicles explode," he said from behind her.
Her cheeks went hot enough to glow. "That would be awkward. — Jamie Farrell

CJ stepped toward her. His hand found her cheek. Natalie's eyes drifted shut. He was going to kiss her.
"Good thing we practiced five years ago," he whispered.
Natalie whimpered out a pathetic laugh, but then his lips were on hers, his hand tangled in her hair, his other hand holding her against him.
And he kissed her. — Jamie Farrell

My clue is that you're supposed to keep going once you've found me."
His eyes narrowed. Thoughtfully, as though he were looking for the words she wanted to say instead. "Keep going in the maze?" he said slowly. "Or keep going somewhere else?"
The man had an evil streak. "The maze," she said firmly.
Helpfully. Like a dutiful daughter of Bliss.
"Because there are a few places I'd like to go with you. — Jamie Farrell

Heard a rumor you can't cook," he said.
She didn't look away from her reading. "You know rumors.
They're always true."
She had him there. According to some of the tabloids, he had fourteen love children, two with aliens and one with the sister of Bigfoot. — Jamie Farrell

Get back to work."
"Fine way to talk to your wife."
"If you were my wife, I would've slapped your ass too."
She stared at him a beat too long. She did love the feel of his hands on her ass. — Jamie Farrell

Heaven's Bakery help them all. — Jamie Farrell

This Chocolate Orgasm is the best chocolate ice cream I've
ever had."
"Mikey helped with that one," Dahlia heard herself say.
Mari Belle laughed, a light, pretty sound. "I sense his
influence in the Hazel's Nuts. — Jamie Farrell

He was the most handsome nightmare she had ever met. — Jamie Farrell

You stay married thirty-four years, you don't have to prove who's got the bigger balls. Just take it for granted she does. — Jamie Farrell

Lindsey had a nearly uncontrollable desire to run her
fingers through his hair, to see if it was as soft today as it had been the last time she'd known him. And that thick stubble on his cheeks and chin was long enough to be soft too. The good soft.
Especially against her softer parts.
Intrigue and desire warmed the smileys on her panties. — Jamie Farrell

I am so not kissing you tonight," she informed him.
He chuckled softly. And if she thought his smile was
dangerous, his chuckle should've been classified as a biological
weapon. Sin in a sound wave.
"But now you're thinking about what it would be like, ain't
you?" he said.
"Only my stupid parts. — Jamie Farrell

If you kiss me and then leave again to go write another
twangy song," she said, eyes closed, lips barely moving, "I swear to God, I will snap that guitar in half and feed it to you for breakfast."
"You use the prettiest words. — Jamie Farrell

She hoped he kissed her.
Only her.
And that when he kissed her, he was thinking about her.
Only her.
If he kissed her, she would kiss him back.
She would kiss him back with everything she had.
Every last person in the stadium would watch her kiss him, and every last one of them would know she wouldn't have minded kissing him forever. — Jamie Farrell

His eyes were growing darker. They dipped to her lips. "Make any dirty cupcakes this week?"
"Yes. Two orders."
"What flavors?"
"No."
"No?"
"I don't want to tell you." She totally wanted to tell him. She wanted to watch his eyes go darker when she said the dirty words. And she wanted him to keep touching her cheek. And then touch her in other places. "You should stop."
"Probably. — Jamie Farrell

She was the only one who made him hear music. The only one who made him feel home. The only one who wanted nothing more than for him to be plain, simple Will Truitt. — Jamie Farrell

She was an idiot. An idiot holding a pie in his garbage can. He probably thought she was a stalker. Or crazy. — Jamie Farrell

If my mom sees you here, she'll ---"
"Paper the walls with my innards while the innocents watch? — Jamie Farrell

It was all CJ had needed - wanted - to hear to keep his plans to — Jamie Farrell

Have you ever played Killer Bunnies?" she asked.
"Killer Bunnies?" he repeated, blinking the way people always did when they didn't follow her brain's train.
"It's a card game. Not spades and clubs, kings and jacks cards. It's like a board game, with cards instead of a board. Here. I'll show you." She stretched up to the top shelf beside her TV and pulled down a bright blue box. "But I have to warn you, I never hesitate to use the nuclear warheads or the anti-matter raisins. Your bunnies are going down. — Jamie Farrell

I'm fine," she said. "I'm just hiding from the Queen General and her latest poster boy."
"The Queen General?" Which one of his sisters fit that description?
More like which one didn't.
"Queen General Marilyn," his visitor said. "Supreme ruler of Bliss and chairperson of Knot Festival."
The words 'Knot Festival' twisted CJ's stomach, and the room seemed to climb ten degrees hotter. He tugged at his bow tie. The woman kept talking...
Marilyn rewrote the Golden Husband Games rules so her Exalted Widower is eligible to be named Husband of the Half Century. And you know what? He's the reason my husband left me. — Jamie Farrell

Right on time, sugar." Josh draped his arm around her shoulders and steered her through the lobby. "Traffic okay?"
"Yeah, except when that alien spaceship landed on I-90 and then all those crickets jumped out to perform Beethoven's Fifth on kazoos. Otherwise, clear sailing. — Jamie Farrell

There's something you need to know," he said.
Her own breath came out loud and uneven. He was entirely in her personal space, but she'd given him enough power as it was. She wouldn't back away, wouldn't let him see her agitation. He tucked her hair behind her ear. Tension took hold of her body. She shuddered, looked up to tell him to stop, but he bent forward, his lips parted, a single freckle on his cheek drawing her attention while his lips got closer and closer and closer until ---
"For future reference," he said, "I never kiss horribly." And before she could blink or breathe or think, his lips closed over hers. His grip tightened in her hair, and when she should've protested or pulled away or kicked him in the shins, her body melted into his.
Kissing him was wrong.... So wrong. She was so good at so wrong. — Jamie Farrell

She ran her hands under his shirt, over his chest, her cool
touch igniting shivers over his skin. "Is this a ploy to get another song out of me?" she asked.
"It's a ploy to get you out of your pants."
"And what, exactly, are you planning on doing once you get
me out of my pants?"
Will felt his lips curving up again. "Darlin', you leave the
details to me. — Jamie Farrell

It is utterly unfair," she said, shooing Wrigley away and
tossing aside her blanket, "that your country boy smile isn't
illegal." She pulled her feet from beneath him, but then she swung a leg over him and straddled his lap, still smiling at him while she took his cheeks in her hands and pressed a soft, open-lipped kiss to his mouth.
Will's pulse kicked up the tempo. He gripped her hips and
pushed against her, parted his lips to make way for her tongue.
Music exploded inside him. Electric guitars, keyboard, fiddle,
bongos. No words, just the white-hot melody of their bodies.
The intoxicating scent of her shampoo tickled his nose, but the intrigued woman scent was stronger - heady and spicy and everything.
He wanted her. — Jamie Farrell

My moral compass doesn't point north. It points to safety. — Jamie Farrell

Speaking of cupcakes, Will wants two dozen off your special menu to take on the road after the wedding."
"The, erm, peach kind?"
"The peach kind," Lindsey said.
"I like the peach kind," Josh said.
Mikey had named them Sex on a Peach. And they were Kimmie's second biggest seller, after the Hairy Dicks, which were coconut cake balls strategically placed with Dahlia's chocolate-covered, ice cream-filled bananas.
And Josh's frown had disappeared, and now he was grinning as if he knew it.
All of it. — Jamie Farrell

One day, son, you're gonna find yourself your everything. When you do, you tell her. And then you make sure you live it. Live it every day. — Jamie Farrell

Merry didn't feel human. Well, maybe a small part human. Like the heel part. — Jamie Farrell

Her eyes slid closed, her secret places pulsed in anticipation, and his lips settled onto the skin beneath her ear.
That was magic.
She held perfectly still.
He pressed a kiss to her neck. Then another, lower. A third, even lower.
She squirmed.
He dropped his hands. "Sorry. I---"
"Don't stop," Kimmie whispered. — Jamie Farrell

She gulped her whiskey sour. The bar was hot tonight.
CJ circled back to check on them. "You ladies doing okay?"
"Define okay." Natalie's whiskey seemed to be talking. Because the whiskey was the only thing that could've put that husky, suggestive tone in her voice. Yep, that was all the whiskey.
He propped his elbows on the bar, which put his face level with hers, and fixed his undivided attention on her. There went her lady bits fanning themselves. With a few added whimpers. They remembered what his hands and body and lips felt like too.
"Content." His voice was low and raw, his gaze penetrating and unwavering. "Happy. Completely, one hundred percent satisfied."
Her mouth went dry while the rest of her went up in needy flames that made her want to scratch the all-but-gone rash he'd tended so well on Monday.
"Nope," Natalie squeaked. "Not okay then. — Jamie Farrell

Are those the Edible Undies cupcakes?" one of the women in the kitchen asked.
"They're the Nipple Lickers," Kimmie answered. "Without the nipples."
"I heard you perfected the Sex on a Peach cupcakes," another feminine voice said.
"Can you squeeze me in for a double order of Spank Me Strawberries the weekend before Knot Fest? — Jamie Farrell

CJ's peace was restored.
Momentarily.
"Oh shit shit shit," a woman said. Her voice rippled with the kind of panic CJ expected from the bride today, but her husky undertones were too low for her to be any of his female relatives.
Perhaps the confessional hadn't been a gift from God after all.
"If that's what you need to do, but not right now, please," CJ said.
Her shriek splintered his last hopes for peace. "Ohmigod!" his intruder gasped.
"Not generally, but hey, if that's what you want to call me, I'm game. — Jamie Farrell

the Battle of the Boyfriends since they almost got Adam Sandler to come judge the year after The Wedding Singer was in theaters." Her phone dinged. She whipped it out, and Will's gut went tight at the name on the readout. Lindsey. Pepper angled the phone away from his — Jamie Farrell

Though everyone who mattered to him told him to walk away, though Lindsey herself told him to walk away, he was still here. And she was still glad. — Jamie Farrell

They hadn't been good months. About as ugly as a wet warthog and as messed up as a bumblebee in a snowstorm. — Jamie Farrell

Like Momma says, only thing you get by digging dirt is dirty. — Jamie Farrell

And this is Kimmie Elias."
Kimmie inhaled a loud breath. "I had a dream you were the
love child of Bugs Bunny and the abominable snowman, but in my dream that was a good thing, and you lived in a mushroom that had
secret passages into outer space," she said.
And here he thought he'd already heard it all. — Jamie Farrell

But he knew how to kiss a woman until she needed his kisses more than she needed to breathe. Until her bones melted. Until she gave him exactly what he wanted. — Jamie Farrell

Josh squeezed her arm. "I'll behave," he murmured. "For now."
She's going to pickle your cucumbers."
"He has more than one?" Natalie whispered.
"That's between me and Kimmie," Josh replied. — Jamie Farrell

One side of his lips quirked up in a sexy smirk. "Got a cure for
that frustration you got going on," he said.
"Got a cure for your ego? — Jamie Farrell

You wanna go see my old bedroom?"
"Is that a pickup line?"
"Come on inside and you'll find out."
How was a girl supposed to resist an offer like that? — Jamie Farrell

That was his biggest regret. He loved playing for a
living, loved hearing his songs on the radio, loved being on a stage and the road, but some days, he wouldn't have minded going home every night to a sweet wife and a couple babies and fried chicken on the table. That was what Lindsey had taken from him. He'd fallen hard. He'd seen what his momma must've felt for his daddy, he'd felt his world crack right down the middle when the girl who had
become his everything ripped his heart out of his chest. — Jamie Farrell

You could make friends with a possessed unicorn, couldn't you?"
"Probably so. We both fart rainbows. — Jamie Farrell

He looked up from the paper he was scribbling on and offered
her a lopsided grin. "Hey, sweet pea. You bring me anything
special?"
The lopsided bit wasn't odd, but there was something forced
about it. "Got a fresh bag of cat food outside." Cat food that she'd
bought with the twenty he'd left to pay for his ice cream.
He pushed his makeshift drum set aside and rose with a
stretch. "Words every man dreams of hearing. Make my night if
you say you got catnip too."
She tried not to giggle. She tried hard.
But she couldn't help herself. "Extra strength," she said.
This time, his grin came out bigger, less forced. "Woman of
my dreams."
"In your dreams," she said. — Jamie Farrell

Those gray eyes slid back to her. "Your shower big enough for two?"
"Yes, but the cats don't like to get wet. Neither does the
guinea pig. But you might have some success with the lizard."
Bad, bad move. Because both corners of his mouth were
getting in on the smile action. He moved them one at a time, first the right corner, then a slow follow from the left corner.
And then he showed his dimple. — Jamie Farrell

She's Canadian!"
"Minnesotan," Anna said.
"Sugarplum, anything north of Kentucky's all Canada to us — Jamie Farrell

She was fixated on replaying the image of a tall, broad, Highland warrior marching into battle against the evil waterfalls of doom to rescue a stuffed dinosaur.
He'd saved Cindy.
For Noah.
CJ Blue was making it very difficult for Natalie to continue to dislike him. — Jamie Farrell

You're doing this for Kimmie for free."
"I'd do anything for Kimmie."
"Including bury a body?"
"Especially bury a body. — Jamie Farrell

Some days, Will wished he could've been like Mikey. Living it up, having fun, embracing the moment. But Will had never been the kind who could keep his heart out of it. — Jamie Farrell

A fake ring. A fake engagement. Fake love. Everything was fake. Shiny and put together on the outside, empty on the inside. — Jamie Farrell

Your mother can't hear you here."
"Distance is no match for my mother's eavesdropping and mind-reading skills."

"I had steel anti-mind-reading plates installed this week. Specially designed to be Marilyn-proof. Also sounds an alarm if she gets within two hundred yards of the building, and I sent the guards downstairs to ninja training. You're safe. — Jamie Farrell

Smoke hung heavy in the air. Will's eyes stung. His throat.
His nose. And the crackling. God, the crackling fire was like the devil laughing.
Vera was in that house.
Mikey gripped his arm. "Hold on, Will - "
Will lunged forward. "Vera - "
"Whoa, Will." Mikey's grip tightened. "Stop."
"The hell I will. Vera - "
"Billy?" One of the cops approached him. Said a bunch of
words. Helped Mikey hold Will back.
Vera was in that house.
Vera, her trusty wooden body, her frets, her new strings. Vera,
who'd had his back everywhere from Pickleberry Springs to
Nashville to New York to LA, from seedy bars to stadiums.
Vera, who'd helped him write his first song. His last song.
Every song in between. — Jamie Farrell

Cinna slid down the bar, sassing three groomsmen and
winking at a fourth on her way.
"I totally get why some animals eat their young," Pepper said. — Jamie Farrell

Two years ago, she had inherited The Milked Duck Ice Cream Shoppe in downtown Bliss from Great Aunt Agnes. After getting
her degree in sociology and then bouncing around the country, waffling from job to job and one relative's couch to another, she'd finally found where she fit: creating and serving happiness to the locals and the destination wedding tourists in Bliss. — Jamie Farrell