James Nicoll Quotes & Sayings

Until recently baby production was largely dependent on slave labour; as soon as women are allowed to answer the question "Would you like to squeeze as many objects the size of a watermelon out of your body as it takes to kill you?" they generally answer "No, thank you." This leads to falling birthrates everywhere women are not kept enslaved and ignorant of the alternatives. — James Nicoll

Romeo and Juliet *died*. I always liked that in a teen romance story. — James Nicoll

Most of my scars are not fire-related and I no longer say "I know what I am doing" at critical moments. — James Nicoll

I have hated every Kress I read, especially this one, but the Bear is a standard Bear and if you like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing you'll like. — James Nicoll

Ben Bova seems to work very hard at working in new discoveries into his Glum Future but alas, his future is glum and not that well written. — James Nicoll

You may have trouble getting permission to aero or lithobrake asteroids on Earth. — James Nicoll

My father once discovered that one cannot "walk off" gangrene. — James Nicoll

I believe that I have now experienced the lifetime maximum exposure to bottom spanking in fantasy novels. — James Nicoll

I think once you start eating people you should stop claiming to be a vegetarian, even if you only eat bad people. — James Nicoll

About Antrax by Terry Brooks: I wonder if he's planning a book called SRS? Or F'lu? — James Nicoll

After enough concussions the head injuries blur together. — James Nicoll

This is the sort of book that justifies fatwahs. If WWIII occurred right now, we could die happy knowing Baxter would never write again. If a dinosaur killing asteroid was headed for Earth and I knew Baxter had another book coming up, I would campaign for letting the rock hit, since it is obviously the work of a benovelent deity trying to save us from another Titan. — James Nicoll

[Elizabeth Moon's] antagonists are always evil moustache-twirlers. She could write a book about a golf open and the main rival to the hero would turn out to have clubs made from compressed kittens. — James Nicoll

Whenever I find my will to live becoming too strong, I read Peter Watts — James Nicoll

It's bad to wake up and see a large cat in mid-leap from the rough vicinity of the ceiling. — James Nicoll

About First Landing by Robert Zubrin: Someday I'd like to read a story about competent people on Mars. — James Nicoll

We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. — James Nicoll

Manitoba ... Not sure what to do about them. Restock the province with megafauna and encourage tourism, I think. How quickly can we breed back the saber-toothed cats? — James Nicoll

Deadly nightshade is the only plant I have ever been able to get to grow for me. — James Nicoll

Gun-wielding recluse gunned down by local police" isn't the epitaph I want. I am hoping for "Witnesses reported the sound up to two hundred kilometers away" or "Last body part finally located". — James Nicoll

English doesn't borrow from other languages. english follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over and goes through their pockets for loose grammar. — James Nicoll

My grandfather for example only died twice, once during the war and once in the 1980s. — James Nicoll

I don't mind hidden depths but I insist that there be a surface. — James Nicoll

Call me an extremist but killing a few hundred million people seems like the sort of method that might have unintended consequences. — James Nicoll

I can't help but notice that everytime I fly somewhere, other people's planes fall out of the sky. — James Nicoll

Never bring a gun to a fight where the other guy has a time-machine and tomorrow's newspapers. — James Nicoll