Jack Whitehall Quotes & Sayings

He threw his back out, which-- fair enough, I'd imagine my back would be a bit sore if I'd spent the last twenty years of my life with my head up my own ass. — Jack Whitehall

I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though. — Jack Whitehall

I have got a fantastic life and I just like to get on with it, and I am quite a private person. — Jack Whitehall

I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid. — Jack Whitehall

Once you start doing a lot, you don't ever want to stop working. It feels weird if you're not doing something. — Jack Whitehall

When I'm on stage, I'm quite over the top - I'm quite flamboyant and camp. — Jack Whitehall

There's a real sense of camaraderie with sitcoms. — Jack Whitehall

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories ... if you lick it. — Jack Whitehall

I eat healthily, as it keeps my energy up. — Jack Whitehall

If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't. — Jack Whitehall

I vote for whoever will annoy my dad. — Jack Whitehall

Society is so divided in its perception of public school people. Most people who went to public school behave in the right way, but every now and then there will be someone who comes along and ruins it. — Jack Whitehall

I wish I was a bit shorter, as I think shorter people have better walks. Freddie Fox, the actor, is shorter than me and has an amazing gait; and Tom Cruise has a brilliant run. I'm just gangly. — Jack Whitehall

My dad doesn't hug me enough! — Jack Whitehall

I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough. — Jack Whitehall

If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing. — Jack Whitehall

I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger. — Jack Whitehall

I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old. — Jack Whitehall

Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable. — Jack Whitehall

I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle. — Jack Whitehall

I never know what defines you as being posh. I went to a posh school, definitely. — Jack Whitehall

Live stand-up is my thing. I love being on stage and just messing around. — Jack Whitehall

I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it. — Jack Whitehall

When I was younger, I was insecure for about 10 years: I wore glasses, had a cow's lick, buck teeth and braces. I looked ridiculous. — Jack Whitehall

My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending. — Jack Whitehall

I'd like to scale back the television. I'm constantly told that I'm over-exposed, and I don't want to end up like Carol Vorderman. — Jack Whitehall

For the first six months of my stand-up career, I was talking like Danny Dyer. I was doing a lot of 'alright guvnors?' It wasn't true to who I was. — Jack Whitehall

I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know ... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it. — Jack Whitehall

I only got into comedy to get laid — Jack Whitehall

I was the first person in the world to audition for 'The Hobbit'. The casting director told me that when I went in. That's a lot of pressure, isn't it? The first person in the world. — Jack Whitehall

Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead? — Jack Whitehall

The Lion King? It's just a kid's film.

Just a kid's film?!? Yeah, just a kid's film with an IMDB rating of 8.5, 2 Academy Awards and 2 Golden Globes, that's been adapted into THE most successful West-end musical of all time, generating a gross profit of 8 million pounds and counting. "But maybe it's just a kid's film because it doesn't deal with any mature films" said fucking nobody ever. The Lion King is the greatest anthropomorphic assault upon the theme of mortality that Western culture has ever produced. It is so complex that your tiny, shriveled, and scrotum of a brain wouldn't dare to fathom it. So no, it is not just a kid's film, it is Shakespear with fur! — Jack Whitehall

Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence. — Jack Whitehall

I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me. — Jack Whitehall

I like to think I'm a bit smarter than I sometimes let on. — Jack Whitehall

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times. — Jack Whitehall

I want to write a film. I need to think of the right idea and focus on that; I love writing. — Jack Whitehall

I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins. — Jack Whitehall